jaaa
kiefersgi…
eris1031
 | Season 4 / Episode 8: - Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket? Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: What did you do with it? Sophia Petrillo: [grabs a vase with flowers] Stand back, I'm not afraid to use this. Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Spill it, Ma. [Sophia dumps the water out of the vase] What you did with the jacket, Ma! Sophia Petrillo: I'm scared, I'll do anything you say. |
| Season 4 / Episode 8: - Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket? Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [scratching off their tickets] What if you get three palm trees? Sophia Petrillo: You don't have three palm trees, that means you win $10,000. Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Ma, I know what three palm trees looks like. Sophia Petrillo: You also know what a handsome doctor looks like, doesn't mean you have one. |
| Season 4 / Episode 8: - Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket? Rose Nylund: Oh darn, I forgot to brush my teeth. Ben: I know what you mean, I'm used to brushing my teeth after every meal... you wouldn't happen to have a meal on you, would you? |
| Season 4 / Episode 8: - Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket? Blanche Devereaux: I suppose I could try a little friendly persuasion. Rose Nylund: Friendly persuasion hell, this isn't for lunch at the Rainbow Room, this is for 10 big ones, give him what he wants! |
 | Season 4 / Episode 7: - Sophia's Wedding (2) Max Weinstock: Hi cupcake. It's time to play connect the freckles! |
| Season 4 / Episode 7: - Sophia's Wedding (2) Blanche Devereaux: [talking to Max] You hardly ever remember to lift the toilet seat up. Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Please, he hardly ever remembers to lift the toilet lid. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Blanche: But before we adjourn our secretary has a real special surprise. A Genuine Elvis artifact. Rose: It's a partially eaten pork chop. Dorothy: This has to be a fake, I mean, Elvis would never have left this much meat on a pork chop. [laughs] Blanche: Dorothy, you're outta the club. |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Blanche: You know what I always hate doing after a party? Rose: Trying to find your underwear in the big pile? Blanche: [offended] Cleanin' up the dirty dishes! You twit. |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Max Weinstock: Sophia? Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, do you hear a dog howling? |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Blanche: [having kicked Dorothy out of the Elvis club] Well I... I hope you're not too upset over this, Dorothy. Dorothy: ...I've just been thrown out of an unauthorized Elvis-fan-club... I'll try to pick up the pieces and go on with my life... I mean there must be a support group for people like me. |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Dorothy: ...And if you see Max, I don't want you making another scene - like you did at the funeral! Sophia Petrillo: Scene? What scene? It's not my fault the klutz tripped over my foot and nearly fell into an open grave! Dorothy: You didn't have to yell 'start shovelling boys!' as he tried to get up. |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Rose: ...I was always kind of the Gypsy of the family - the rebel! I wanted to see the world - that's why, after High School, I went to St. Gustaf University to study Latin. Dorothy: I didn't know you studied Latin? Rose: First in my class! [smugly] Ororthy Day! |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Rose: Don't you have to be a virgin to wear white? Sophia Petrillo: Please! The last time I was a virgin, the Louisiana Purchase was in escrow! |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Max Weinstock: [informing the gay caterer the wedding is cancelled because of Dorothy] She doesn't approve. Caterer: She doesn't approve? Now look here, stretch. I have a hundred cheese puffs and a sensitive assistant both on the verge of collapse. Whatever the problem is, overlook it. My mother did with my marriage. [Dorothy looks at him] And if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly. Dorothy: Look if you don't mind, this is a private conversation, so butt out, Rambo. |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Caterer: This is more moving than Susan Hayward's climatic speech in I Want To Live! Blanche: You're ready to fly right out of here, aren't you? Caterer: Well excuse me for living, Anita Bryant! |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Dorothy: [Dorothy has just discovered Sophia and Max in bed together] Ma, what is going on here? Sophia Petrillo: Afterglow. |
| Season 4 / Episode 6: - Sophia's Wedding (1) Dorothy: Ma what's the matter? Sophia Petrillo: Esther Weinstock is dead. We grew up together, she was my best friend. Dorothy: I'm so sorry, what happened? Sophia Petrillo: She was fighting an oil rig fire in the Gulf of Mexico. She was 88! Rose: Well it's great that she was able to work right up till the end. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 5: - Bang the Drum, Stanley Rose: [describing Blanche] She's a character. She's also a cheap slut. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 4: - Yokel Hero Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I will never forgive that airline as long as I live! Blanche Devereaux: I cannot believe they lost all our luggage! Now I'm gonna have to go an entire weekend without underwear! Sophia Petrillo: Yeah. You usually slip into a pair by Sunday afternoon. |
| Season 4 / Episode 4: - Yokel Hero Rose Nylund: If it were clearer we could see Mount Losenbaden. Blanche Devereaux: What's Mount Losenbaden? Rose Nylund: It's kinda like Mount Rushmore, except they sculpted four losers of Presidential elections in the mountainside. Let's see - there was Alf Landon, Wendell Willkie and Adlai Stevenson and Adlai Stevenson. Blanche Devereaux: Why are there two Adlai Stevensons? Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh, Blanche, isn't it obvious? He lost twice... Oh god - it's making sense! |
| Season 4 / Episode 4: - Yokel Hero Rose: God, I hate fog! Sophia: Why? You spent most of your life in one! Rose: I meant, if it were clearer we could see Mount Losenbaden. Blanche: What's Mount Losenbaden? Rose: It's kinda like Mount Rushmore, except they sculpted four losers of Presidential elections in the mountainside. Let's see... there was Alf Landon, Wendell Willkie, and Adlai Stevenson and Adlai Stevenson. Blanche: Why are there two Adlai Stevensons? Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, isn't it obvious? He lost twice... [panicking] Oh God, it's making SENSE! |
| Season 4 / Episode 4: - Yokel Hero Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing? Sophia: [sarcastically] I'm giving the leftover meatloaf a thrill. |
| Season 4 / Episode 4: - Yokel Hero Sophia: It's great bringing two idiots closer together. Dorothy: I think that's the motto of the St. Olaf telephone company. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Rose Nylund: [Rose sees Dorothy looking through binoculars] What are you doing, Dorothy? Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh... looking up at the stars... pondering the universe. Rose Nylund: I've been doing the same thing... thinking how wonderful it would be if there really were aliens... maybe it'd be just like Cocoon... they'd take us away... and we'd never grown old... Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: See, I don't know. I like my life. I mean - I'm not president or anything, I'm just a teacher... a substitute teacher... a divorced substitute teacher... who can't even afford her own place to live - BEAM ME UP! |
| Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Rose is the only one here who thinks she saw a UFO. Major Barker: I understand, Miss Zbornak. By the way is that Miss Zbornak or Mrs? I'm hoping it's Miss. Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Why, yes! [slinks over and sits next to him on the couch] As a matter of fact it is! Major Barker: Good! I've already got that box checked on this form. |
| Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Rose, there is no such thing as a U.F.O. Rose Nylund: They were probably looking for someone to bring up to the ship. Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Fine, then you stay out here, flag them down if they fly by again. I'll go inside and pack a bag. Rose Nylund: But I want to be the one to go! Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Whose bag do you think I'm going to pack? |
| Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Blanche Devereaux: [laughing and humming, as in ecstasy, while eating cookies] Ha, ha, ha... hmmm, hmmm... oooh... mmm, mmm. Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Blanche, are you in a good mood? Blanche Devereaux: Dorothy, you always could see right through me. Sophia Petrillo: Keep it up with those Chips Ahoy and Superman couldn't see right through you. |
| Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Rose Nylund: So, Ham, what's "Ham" short for? Sophia Petrillo: My guess is "ham and potatoes"! |
| Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Blanche Devereaux: [to Ham, as she shows him the front door] Beat it, tubbo! |
| Season 4 / Episode 3: - The One That Got Away Ham Lushbough: Blanche, I'd trade all my memories for a quickie. |
Facebook
Twitter