The Dukes of Hazzard Quotes

The Dukes of Hazzard

- Episode Quotes

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The Dukes of Hazzard Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 17: - Opening Night at the Boar's Nest Boss Hogg: What in hallelujah's goin' on in here, Rosco? Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Boss, listen here, the name is not Rosco, it's the Great Coltrano. And this is Flasho, and you interrupted my prestidigitation here. Boss Hogg: Yeah, well, you're name will be Muddo if you don't explain all this nonsense and how you got this room so full of junk.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - Opening Night at the Boar's Nest Bo Duke: Did you get your license in a box of cereal or what? You're tryin' to kill us all?
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - Opening Night at the Boar's Nest The Balladeer: [final narration] So, you see, that's the way it goes in Hazzard. Where the Dukes will even help out their enemy when the chips are down. That's plum typical of the Dukes of Hazzard. Too bad it ain't the same everywhere else, huh?
	Season 7 / Episode 16: - Enos and Daisy's Wedding Daisy Duke: Now Enos, when people plan to get married, they figure they're gonna share the good and the bad. That's what marriage is all about: sharin'. Okay, I figure we're just gonna start off with the bad here, and get to the good a little later.
	Season 7 / Episode 16: - Enos and Daisy's Wedding Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Listen, Enos would like to speak to ya, Daisy, just a second if you've got the time. Daisy Duke: Oh now, Rosco, don't you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding? Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Well, I don't think that makes any difference at this point, I think the groom's had all the bad luck he can handle.
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Strange Visitor to Hazzard Enos: This is deputy enos strate reportin'. I just spotted a UFO. A flying saucer just landed in Skunk Hollow!
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Strange Visitor to Hazzard Daisy Duke: I dunno, maybe some beings from outer space are trying to get ahold of us. Cooter: Uh-huh. Luke Duke: They're gonna get a strange impression of humanity if they stop in Hazzard County. Cooter: Well, they probably just heard about the big dance Saturday night. Bo Duke: They're probably just... small planet folks. Cooter: They're comin' to the dance to do the Moonwalk.
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Strange Visitor to Hazzard Daisy Duke: I know, why don't we call him 'Lil' Cousin'? Can we call you Lil' Cousin? [the alien warbles something which the Dukes take as an affirmative]
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Strange Visitor to Hazzard The Balladeer: [narrating] Now Lil' Cousin may be a Duke back on his planet, considering his knack for gettin' into trouble.
	Season 7 / Episode 15: - Strange Visitor to Hazzard Elton Loggins: This is Elton Loggins, the voice of Hazzard County [snorts three times] And what a day! Whoowee! [cut to outside as the Dukes and the police scrables for their cars] Let me tell ya. Well first of all, there ain't no martians and second of all, them guys were phonies. You know, just like in the movies. Who can you trust? Elton Loggins [snorts three times] , the voice of Hazzard County!
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - When You Wish Upon a Hogg Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: When you were a little fat kid didn't you read about Aladdin and his lamp Boss Hogg: about Aladdin and his lamp? Listen, I was too busy runnin' a floatin' crap game at school to do much readin'. Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Well listen, let me tell ya the story. See, if you rub this lamp, if it's Aladdins, then the smoke comes out, hits the fan and then the genie pops out and gives you all sorts of wishes. Boss Hogg: Oh, that lamp, the one with the genie. Oh I know all about that anyhow. Yeah, but you gotta be touched in the head to believe a fairy tale like that. Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: I believe it...
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - When You Wish Upon a Hogg Trixie: What is your wish, master?
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - When You Wish Upon a Hogg The Balladeer: [narrating] As them two baddies started gushin' like a couple of oil wells, spillin' all that they knew about Hughie's scam to get Boss to sign over everything that he owned in Hazzard County, Boss was getting suckered faster than a country bumpkin at a city carnival.
	Season 7 / Episode 13: - The Haunting of J.D. Hogg The Balladeer: [narrating] The problem was: the moonshine nutcracker don't hardly work at all - if you miss the car.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - Sky Bandits Over Hazzard Daisy Duke: I swear, this is the worst day Hazzard has ever had.
	Season 7 / Episode 11: - Sittin' Dukes Enos: I can't believe Luke or any of the Dukes would do a thing like that... Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Why Enos, you saw 'em with your own beady eyes, didn't you? How much proof do you need? Alright, let's go. Benson: [grabs Rosco by the arm] Whoa! Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Whoa? Benson: I'll leave, Colbrain. Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: The name is Coltrane, there ain't no brain in it. Benson: You can sure say that again.
	Season 7 / Episode 10: - Danger on the Hazzard Express Boss Hogg: [playing with a toy train] Oh Rosco, watchin' this little train go round this here track is the most fun I've ever had. Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Oh, me too. Boss Hogg: And having two million bucks fall into my pocket at the same time makes it pure Hogg heaven!
	Season 7 / Episode 9: - Cale Yarborough Comes to Hazzard Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: You're Cale Yarborough, huh? Cale Yarborough: That's right, officer. Two men bushwacked me... Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [interrupring] Ah, tiddely tuddely. If you're Cale Yarborough, I'm the tooth fairy!
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - Go West, Young Dukes Uncle Jesse: J.D., we all know the only two things you ever did that was legal was be born and marry Lulu.
	Season 7 / Episode 7: - Cool Hands, Luke & Bo Cassius Claibourne: [referring to Boss Hogg] It's gonna be such a pleasure taking my old enemy apart piece by little piece...
	Season 7 / Episode 7: - Cool Hands, Luke & Bo Lulu: [referring to Boss Hogg] It's gonna be such a pleasure taking my old enemy apart piece by little piece...
	Season 7 / Episode 6: - The Dukes in Hollywood Boss Hogg: [Hogg is hassling Dillard the producer] Listen, I think it's time to talk about our deal. You know, for the J.D. Hogg story? Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Oooh! [Dillard looks around for help] Boss Hogg: How about this for casting, listen to this great idea: Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Listen to this. Boss Hogg: For my wife Lulu: Bo Derek!
	Season 7 / Episode 5: - No More Mr. Nice Guy Boss Hogg: [on phone] Now listen, if them Dukes ain't in the pokey in the next hour, I can't tell ya what I'm gonna do!
	Season 7 / Episode 5: - No More Mr. Nice Guy The Balladeer: [narrating] As Boss started cookin' up a batch of Hazzard hospitality, the Dukes were droppin' into the frying pan old Boss had waiting for 'em
	Season 7 / Episode 5: - No More Mr. Nice Guy Billie Jean: Stoney here and Zack, they was right. You do have a short memory, Mr. Hogg. Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Oh, eh, see, it's not only short, but it's non existent. He hit his little chrome dome and lost his memory. Stoney: [grabs Hogg by the lapels] Well you just better find it before you meet with another accident and lose a whole lot more...
	Season 7 / Episode 5: - No More Mr. Nice Guy Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Boss is gonna be cut down in the prime of his beef!
	Season 7 / Episode 4: - Robot P. Coltrane Rance: We're gonna be rich, Marv, rich. With what we got in the back of this truck, we're gonna be in fat city.
	Season 7 / Episode 4: - Robot P. Coltrane Bo Duke: [bad impression of Clark Gable] Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
	Season 7 / Episode 4: - Robot P. Coltrane Bobby Joe, the Robot: Please do not touch metal. Boss' hands are greasy from breakfast sugarlines.
	Season 7 / Episode 3: - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Duke Bo Duke: Enos, have you been taking Rosco pills? Enos: Huh? Luke Duke: What he means is: are you gonna give us a ticket for something we didn't do? Enos: Oh, shucks, no, I just wanted to Daisy to have these [laughs sheepily as he holds up a bunch of flowers]

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