The Drew Carey Show Quotes

The Drew Carey Show

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

The Drew Carey Show Quotes

	Season 9 / Episode 5: - At Your Cervix Drew Carey: Are you gonna eat that??!
	Season 7 / Episode 27: - The Underpants Guy Milan: Oh I love how poor people hug, they actually touch and everything!
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - Rich Woman, Poor Man Milan: [about Helford] Isn't he cool! He talks like that all the time!
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - Rich Woman, Poor Man Milan: [gasps] Yes! Oh my god we can be a family! A nice normal family! A model and heiress and a guy from Cleveland.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - Daddy Dearest (2) Milan: [talking about Steve] Isn't it weird that we're both people?
	Season 7 / Episode 19: - Bringing Up Boss (1) Milan: Daddy, why is my birthday clown talking to me that way?
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - The Curse of the Mummy Nigel Wick: Oh my God, my husband's cheating on me with my mummy!
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Drew's Life After Death Lewis Kiniski: [Oswald laughs as he is reading a section of a newspaper] What are you reading, the comics? Oswald Lee Harvey: No, no. I'm looking at a woman in a lingerie ad. Kate O'Brien: Why are you laughing? Oswald Lee Harvey: Because I'm getting turned on by the newspaper! I've reached a new low!
	Season 5 / Episode 18: - Drew Goes to Hell Mimi Bobeck: I want a pony. Drew Carey: To ride or to feed on?
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Drew Live Drew Carey: Well, I better go tell Eugene it's over between us. Lewis Kiniski: Eugene just told me my butt looks like a cupcake. Drew Carey: That bitch!
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Nicki's Parents Chuck Fifer: [sees Drew and the others 'mooning' at the house window] I left my hat on the pool table. Some people just wave goodbye.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - The Dog and Pony Show Lewis Kiniski: I don't see what the big deal is. You're born naked and you die naked. The Councilman: You don't die naked. Lewis Kiniski: You do if you plan it right.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Playing the Unified Field Drew Carey: [introducing his new girlfriend to Mimi] Mimi, this is Sioux with an X, Sioux, this is Mimi with an extra chromosome.
	Unknown Episode: Mimi Bobeck: So much crap they had to start a second pile.
	Unknown Episode: Nigel Wick: [to Mimi] Hey, Stella. Get your groove back.
	Unknown Episode: Larry Almada: An Englishman. Well, it's almost like a woman.
	Unknown Episode: The Disciplinarian: This beer kicked my ass!
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: Well, you can huff... and you can puff... and... oh my god! I'm making a pig joke out of myself!
	Unknown Episode: Mimi Bobeck: Write down a number you think is fair... and shove it up your ass!
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?
	Unknown Episode: Lewis Kiniski: I don't say this often but grrrrrrr.
	Unknown Episode: Mimi Bobeck: You're late. Drew Carey: I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Mimi Bobeck: Remember, lift with the knees. Drew Carey: You know, I had such a great time with my band last night that even seeing you couldn't affect it. OK, that's not true.
	Unknown Episode: Mimi Bobeck: Your lips say goodbye, but your ass says, still here!
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.
	Unknown Episode: Lewis Kiniski: One person's always disappointed. So far, I've been lucky; it's always been the woman.
	Unknown Episode: Lewis Kiniski: If you hurt my sister they will never find any piece of you! Not even your glasses! Remember, I am a janitor, I know how to dispose of things! Drew Carey: Is that a threat? Lewis Kiniski: You want me to sing it to ya?
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: Is that the most terrible sound you've ever heard? Lewis Kiniski: Have you ever tried to start your car with a cat sleeping on the intake manifold? Drew Carey: No. Lewis Kiniski: Then yes, that's the worst sound you ever heard.

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