Stephen Colbert

The Colbert Report

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Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert (pronounced "col-BEAR") was born on May 13, 1964, and grew up in Charleston, South Carolina.

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Episode Screenshots

Season 1, Episode 03	Season 1, Episode 05
Season 3, Episode 59	Season 1, Episode 01

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Stephen Colbert played by Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert Quotes

Unknown Episode:

Stephen Colbert: [Discussing the potential ports deal with Dubai] I hesitate to say this, but while Bush may, in fact, be right, it feels like Bush... is wrong. Ooh! [Holds his gut] Oh, that hurts my gut! Oh, cause my gut tells me George Bush is always right! Oh God! [Holds his head] That hurts my brain, cause this is so clearly not the right gut political decision for him to have made! Ooh, there's my gut again! Bush is right... aggh, he's wrong... gahh, he's right... noo! Agh, he can't be both wrong and right at the same time!
"The Word" side-screen: "Does Not Compute!"
Stephen Colbert: ...or can he? Has he really gotten that advanced? Oh splendor, it all coheres! It doesn't have to make sense to my head or my gut!
"The Word" side-screen: "Or Your Bulletpoint"
Stephen Colbert: We just have to do what he says no matter what! Oh, that's gonna make things a lot easier. Well there it is. Bush is right! Absolutely!
"The Word" side-screen: "Maybe"

Unknown Episode:

Stephen Colbert: Stop asking for Bush's plan, senators! He clearly doesn't have one.

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