Penny

The Big Bang Theory

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Kaley Cuoco
A model and commercial actress from the age of 6, Kaley Cuoco's first major role was in the TV movie ...

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Penny Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 21: - The Vegas Renormalization Penny: [Sheldon has locked himself out of his apartment] I think the emergency key is around here somewhere. Sheldon Cooper: We have a bowl. Our keys go in a bowl. You should get a bowl. Penny: So, how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper forget his key in the first place? Sheldon Cooper: I left them in the bowl.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - The Vegas Renormalization Sheldon Cooper: I will be enjoying a blissful evening in my personal Fortress of Solitude. Penny: That's Superman's big ice thingy, right? Sheldon Cooper: I'm in such a good mood today, I find your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - The Vegas Renormalization Penny: What's wrong, Superman? Locked out of your big ice thingy?
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - The Vegas Renormalization Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, Penny. Is this conversation making you uncomfortable? Penny: Of course it's making me uncomfortable! Can't you tell? Sheldon Cooper: Not really. I'm not that good at reading facial expressions. Penny: I'm uncomfortable, Sheldon! Sheldon Cooper: Thank you, that was very helpful.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - The Vegas Renormalization Sheldon Cooper: How was your day? Penny: Well, they shifted my schedule around at the restaurant so my hours are gonna be a little different... Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, that's not going to interest me at all, just eat.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - The Hofstadter Isotope Penny: What would you recommend as a present for a 13-year old boy? Stuart: Um, a 13-year old girl?
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - The Hofstadter Isotope Penny: [after entering a comic book store loudly] Everbody is staring at me. Leonard Hofstadter: Don't worry. They're more scared of you than you are of them. Penny: Unlikely.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Howard Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly rawishing today. Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard. Howard Wolowitz: So there is a number.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Penny: What are you saying? That I'm threatened by Alicia, that I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go? Sheldon: I'm just taking about bees.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Sheldon: May I interject something here? Penny: Please! Sheldon: You got the wrong mustard.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Penny: You know like in Star Trek when you are in battle and you raise the shields. [pause] Where the hell did that come from.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Penny: If this takes off I won't have to be a waitress anymore. Sheldon Cooper: But then who will bring me my cheeseburger on Tuesday nights? Penny: Another waitress? Sheldon Cooper: What's her name? Penny: I don't know. Sheldon Cooper: And you're going to let her handle my food? Penny: Nancy. Her name is Nancy. Sheldon Cooper: I think you're just making that up!
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Penny: Okay, you know what, if I'm not allowed to be snide, you are not allowed to be condescending. Sheldon Cooper: That wasn't a part of our original agreement, and I do not agree to it now!
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Penny: [about the website Leonard designed for Penny's business] It seems a little juvenile. It looks like the MySpace page of a thirteen year-old girl. Leonard Hofstadter: No it doesn't! Howard Wolowitz: Dateline could use it to attract predators.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Sheldon Cooper: [Talking about Penny's home business] Ten dollars a day times five days a week times 52 weeks a year is 2,600 dollars. Penny: That's all? Sheldon Cooper: Before taxes. Penny: Well, I don't have to pay taxes on this stuff. Sheldon Cooper: I believe the Internal Revenue Service would strongly disagree.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Sheldon Cooper: [Talking about Penny's proposed home-based business] If you took advantage of modern marketing techniques, and you optimized your manufacturing process, you might be able to make this a viable business. Penny: And you know about that stuff? Sheldon Cooper: [patronizing] Penny - I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains. Penny: Who's Radiohead? Sheldon Cooper: [with facial tic] I have a working knowledge of the _important_ things in the universe.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Sheldon Cooper: [after timing how long it took Penny to make a decorative hair barrette] Based on your cost in materials and your wholesale selling price, you'll effectively be paying yourself five dollars and nineteen cents a day. Penny: A day? Sheldon Cooper: There are children in a sneaker factory in Indonesia who out-earn you.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Sheldon Cooper: Perhaps we could expand our market. Penny: How are flower barrettes gonna appeal to men? Howard Wolowitz: We add Bluetooth! Sheldon Cooper: Brilliant! Men love Bluetooth! Penny: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You want to make a hair barrette with Bluetooth? Sheldon Cooper: Penny - Everything is better with Bluetooth.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Sheldon Cooper: [Presents clip board] Excuse me! You have to sign this. Penny: What is it? Sheldon Cooper: When I signed for the package, I was deputized by the United Parcel Service and entrusted with its final delivery. I now need you to acknowledge receipt of the package so that I am fully indemnified and no longer liable. Penny: Sheldon, it's just a box of rhinestones! Sheldon Cooper: Well, the contents are irrelevant. A legal bailment has been created. Does that mean nothing to you? Penny: It means nothing to anybody!
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Sheldon Cooper: Before we set up a marketing and distribution infrastructure, we should finish optimizing the manufacturing process. To start with, she has a terrible problem with moisture-induced glitter clump. Penny: Yeah, it's a bitch! Howard Wolowitz: [Inspecting bottle of glitter] Ah, I've seen this before. Penny: Where? Howard Wolowitz: It's a common stripper problem: they dance, they sweat, they clump.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Work Song Nanocluster Penny: How the hell are we gonna make a thousand Penny Blossoms Penny: in one day?... I'm gonna have to call them and cancel that order. Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, but was this not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brilliance and innovation? My brilliance and innovation, of course, but still. Penny: I just don't see how we can pull this off. Sheldon Cooper: That, right there! That equivocation and self-doubt. That is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - The Terminator Decoupling Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, Penny. It's Leonard. Penny: Oh, hi, Leonard. What's up with Doctor Wackadoddle? Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon's trying to ask you a favor. You might have been confused becaused he didn't use the words "Sheldon", "Penny", "please", or "favor".
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Cushion Saturation Penny: [Penny turns over the sofa cushion to hide the paint spot on Sheldon's seat] There! Looks fine, right? Leonard Hofstadter: Mmm... butt print. There's not discernible butt print. Penny: Oh, come on. [Sits on cushion] There! Butt print. Leonard Hofstadter: It's too small and too... perfect. Penny: Thank you!
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Cushion Saturation Penny: [after unsuccessfully trying to clean the paint off Sheldon's seat] What are we going to do? Leonard Hofstadter: We? No, no no. You've had your chance to be "we" for a year and-a-half now. Right now you are you, and you are screeewwwed!
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Cushion Saturation Penny: Look, Sheldon, I'm really, really sorry but it's only going to be for a week. Can't you be a little bit flexible? [Leonard, Howard, Raj and Sheldon all look at her] Yeah, sorry, I didn't really think that through.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Cushion Saturation Sheldon Cooper: There's just one thing before we start. Leonard Hofstadter: What is it, Sheldon? Penny: What the hell? Sheldon Cooper: That was for my cushion! Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, Penny was our only hope! Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, Leonard, but revenge is a dish best served cold. Penny: Screw that! Sheldon Cooper: She can't shoot me, she's dead! Leonard Hofstadter: [to Penny] He's right, you can't. Sheldon Cooper: Well, if we're going to descend into anarchy...
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - The Maternal Capacitance Leonard Hofstadter: You want to talk about not getting love from a parent - you know what I used to do when i was little for some sensation of human contact? Penny: Yeah, you grabbed your penis and wouldn't let go.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - The Financial Permeability Sheldon Cooper: If you recall, I pointed out the check engine light to you several months ago. Penny: The check engine light is fine, it's still blinking away. It's the stupid engine that stopped working.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - The Financial Permeability Sheldon Cooper: Take some. Penny: Don't be silly. Sheldon Cooper: I'm never silly.

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