The Batman Quotes

The Batman

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Lost Heroes (1) Green Arrow: [Batman and Green Arrow are being carried in a craft made by Green Lantern's power ring] Feel like you're in the backseat of your parents' SUV? Batman: Just don't ask me "Are we there yet?".
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Lost Heroes (1) Batgirl: So how am I typing like this? Martian Manhunter: I'm feeding the codes into your brain. Batgirl: Woah! We've gotta talk about personal boundries after this is over.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Metal Face of Comedy The Joker: [after being downloaded into WayneTech nanobots] Ooo... I feel like a million bots!
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Metal Face of Comedy The Joker: I'm the new and improved version... Joker 2.0! The Joker: [returning to the hideout after escaping the hospital] More like a cheap knock-off, plus one bad joke.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Metal Face of Comedy The Joker: I wonder if The Penguin has these staffing problems?
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Metal Face of Comedy The Joker: How'd I get back in here? And who the heck are you? Nightwing: [Pounding his fists] Nightwing!
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Ring Toss Robin: Now I know why Joker is such a nutjob... it's because this much "smiling" makes you crazy.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - Joker Express The Joker: I am the conductor here, and I say you need your ticket punched! [hits Batman with extended boxing glove]
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - Joker Express The Joker: [Joker calmly watches as Judy attacks Batman with a bench] Aww, such hospitality. Judy wants you to have his seat...
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - Joker Express Batgirl: [Batman, Batgirl and Robin are trapped in a giant bird cage underground. Joker's train is facing them] Let me guess, you're going to run us over with your train, right? The Joker: [feels insulted by the comment] Please... I assure you, that joke's too obvious, even for me!
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - Joker Express The Joker: [after explaining his plan to destroy Gotham City by collapsing the cave system under it with explosives] Ashes to ashes... and all that rot.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind Batman: Impressive. You have all the answers, D.A.V.E., except one. Every great supervillain, as well as a superhero, has an origin too. What's yours? D.A.V.E.: My origin? I... I... fell into a chemical bath. Batman: That's Joker. D.A.V.E.: A cryogenic mishap. No, no. I... I lost my family fortune. Batman: Freeze. Penguin. D.A.V.E.: I was a mad psychiatrist using Arkham as my cover. Batman: That's Professor Strange, your creator. You can't remember your origin because it doesn't exist. You're a computer program.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind Batman: Strange. Professor Hugo Strange: Ah, the Dark Knight returns. Batman: D.A.V.E.'s escape wasn't a glitch, wasn't it, professor? Professor Hugo Strange: You don't mean to say that I deliberately unleashed Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind? Batman: I am saying you might find Arkham a better home than office. Professor Hugo Strange: The line between genius and insanity is often blurred. Ha! Batman: Didn't know you were such a fan. Professor Hugo Strange: Your obsession with criminals fascinates me as much as the criminals themselves. Batman: Shut down D.A.V.E., now. Professor Hugo Strange: I might have created D.A.V.E., Batman, but I no longer control him. Batman: Then tell me how to stop him. Professor Hugo Strange: You can't. You see, he was designed to stop you. D.A.V.E. enacted his crimes in order to bait you into encounters, in order to study you. Batman: And why would he want to study me? Professor Hugo Strange: Because I also programmed my psychology into D.A.V.E.'s brain. D.A.V.E. shares my fascination with you, Batman, and right now, has learned all there is to know about you.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind D.A.V.E.: Estimated lack of conciousness, 10 minutes, 34 seconds. Estimated completion of data aquisition, 9 minutes, 15 seconds.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind D.A.V.E.: A million possible security codes. Let's try them all.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind Scientist: Wh... What are you? D.A.V.E.: Not "what." "Who." D.A.V.E.: I like your coat.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind D.A.V.E.: You would probably like your tracking device back? Another predictable move. Batman: Then my next move won't suprise you, either. D.A.V.E.: Not only am I smarter than you, Batman, I am faster and stronger!
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind D.A.V.E.: Hello again, Gotham. Now that the preparations are complete, on with the crime itself... involving all of Gotham's major banks. D.A.V.E.: Now, most great crimes are based on the foundation of monetary gain. Diamonds, gold, art, etc. But pilfering meer money is so passe these days. That is, unless one steals EVERYONE's money. D.A.V.E.: Voila. I'm rich, you're not.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind D.A.V.E.: [still on the jumbotron] The ultimate crime should induce mass hysteria. D.A.V.E.: Because fear is the felon's friend. D.A.V.E.: Oh, and what crime is complete without the personal touch... D.A.V.E.: My calling card! And there you have it, Gotham. The ultimate crime!
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind D.A.V.E.: Welcome home... Bruce. Batman: You should have told me you were stopping by. The place is a mess. D.A.V.E.: Humor. Often used as a coping mechanism in high-stress situations.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - JTV Detective Ellen Yin: Detective Bennett has also been kidnapped by Joker. He was subjected to intense psychological torment and then exposed to unstable chemicals which completely melted his body and mind.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - JTV Professor Hugo Strange: Mr. Bennet has been clearly psychologically traumatised by our former patient, Joker, and by his own transformation.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - JTV Detective Ellen Yin: We've really lost him, haven't we, Wayne? Bruce Wayne: Ethan has passed the point of no return. Now, only Clayface remains.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - JTV Detective Ellen Yin: Detective Bennett has also been kidnapped by Joker. He was subjected to intense psychological torment and then exposed to unstable chemicals which completely mutated his body and mind.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - JTV Professor Hugo Strange: Mr. Bennett has been psychologically traumatised by our former patient, Joker, and by his own transformation.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Riddled The Riddler: Someone is very bright. Step into the light so the Riddler can see you.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Clayface of Tragedy (2) Clayface: Come on in, Batman. It's time to say our goodbyes to Chief Rojas. Batman: Let him go. Clayface: What, you don't approve, Bats? After all, to Rojas here, we're both on the wrong side of the law. Batman: It doesn't matter what he thinks. It's the code you live by that matters. And you don't wanna cross a line that you can't uncross. Clayface: Maybe you haven't noticed, Bats, but my line's been crossed for good! Detective Ellen Yin: Ethan, no! Detective Ethan Bennett: It's not cool anymore to reveal secret identities, Yin. Detective Ellen Yin: Not that it matters. Bruce Wayne: When I can be anyone I choose. Batman: And when I'm no longer sure what I am. The Joker: Except a freak! [laughs] You know what separates the freaks from the normals? Just one rotten day. Ever had a really rotten day, Batman? Clayface: Thought so. Batman: Joker's rotten to the core by choice. A choice that's still yours to make, Detective. Detective Ellen Yin: Turn yourself in, Ethan. We can help you. Clayface: You don't get it, do you? Joker didn't just melt my skin, he melted my mind! I am a freak, inside and out! And Chief Rojas has zero-tolerance for the likes of me!
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - The Rubberface of Comedy (1) The Joker: When Joker's through clowning with you, you wouldn't know where to find your mind! [cackles maniacally]
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - The Rubberface of Comedy (1) The Joker: If Gotham belongs to Joker, the dull face of tragedy must become the rubber face of comedy!
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - The Rubberface of Comedy (1) The Joker: All it takes is one rotten day to transform a normal man into a monster! Well, in my case, a rotten day and a chemical bath. [laughs maniacally]

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