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Characters: #5 of 13 (Full List)
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 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - An Aborted Dinner Date Karl Rove: The head of pro-life is on his way here, and from what I heard, he's a freak. President George Walker Bush: What kind of a freak? Karl Rove: Well, apparently he was aborted 30 years ago, but managed to survive. And now he is bitter, he is angry, and he hates to be cancelled on. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - An Aborted Dinner Date Karl Rove: Remember when I told you that this guy was aborted 30 years ago and he was a freak? Well, I should have widdled my fingers and trilled my R and said "frrrrreak"! He never even developed. He's survived eating ants... and mice. Oh boy! George W. Bush: What do you mean? He's kinda like a midget? Karl Rove: Worse than a midget! George W. Bush: WORSE THAN A MIDGET? |
 | Unknown Episode: Karl Rove: The head of the Anti-Abortion group is here, and I hear he's sort of a freak. George W. Bush: What kind of a freak? Karl Rove: Well, apparently he was aborted 30 years ago, but survived. He is bitter, he is angry, and he hates being cancelled on. |
| Unknown Episode: Karl Rove: Republicans are not supposed to ban guns! |
| Unknown Episode: Karl Rove: What are you doing? George W. Bush: What does it look like? We're putting the cat to sleep. Karl Rove: Why are you doing it with that douche? George W. Bush: Larry's the only one who would help me. |
| Unknown Episode: George W. Bush: Karl thinks I should put my cat to sleep and I don't know how to tell Laura about it. Larry O'Shea: Oh, Mr. Republican Conservative Tightass here suddenly believes in assistant death. Karl Rove: What the hell are you talking about? Larry O'Shea: You're a hippicrit. It was you Republicans that put Jack Kevorkian in jail. Karl Rove: Oh please, that is totally different, Jack Kevorkian puts people to sleep. George W. Bush: Who's Jack Kevorkian? Larry O'Shea: The doctor who helped people with terminal diseases committ suicide. He helped dozens of people who were in horrible pain and what did you do? You conservatives threw his ass in jail. George W. Bush: We did? Larry O'Shea: If you think it's humane to put an old and sick cat to sleep, then why is it illegal to do it for humans? George W. Bush: Yeah, how come, Karl? Karl Rove: Because only human beings have a soul, Mr. President. George W. Bush: Because only human beings have a soul, Larry. Larry O'Shea: Not according to a Hendu. George W. Bush: What's a Hendu? Larry O'Shea: Lays eggs. Look, George, you need to take a cold, hard look at your stance on euthenasia. George W. Bush: Huh! I don't care about them. They're conformous and they're communist. Karl Rove: Who? George W. Bush: The youth-in-Asia. Come on, you know, Chinese, Japanese, Dirty-Knees, Look-at-these. |
| Unknown Episode: Karl Rove: Thank you for getting me that date, Mrs. Bush, now all I have to do is figure out how to tell my wife. |
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