That '70s Show Quotes

That '70s Show

- Episode Quotes

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That '70s Show Quotes

	Unknown Episode: Red Forman: And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote, it's called on "On the road to in your ass".
	Unknown Episode: Michael Kelso: [walking into the living room with a big bottle rocket] Mr: Forman, can I light this off in your house? Red Forman: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass. Steven Hyde: And that my friends, is the last foot-in-ass of the decade! Cheers! Kitty Forman: Michael, I just... it's so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room where just asking about you. Michael Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot Mom! Kitty Forman: Oh! Hahahahaha! Red Forman: You know what else it hot?... My foot when it's in your ass. Steven Hyde: Look at that. He got one more in him.
	Season 8 / Episode 22: - That '70s Finale Leo: [Hyde re-joined the circle] Hyde man, it's good to have you back. It's like they always say, "Hey Leo, how's it going?"
	Season 8 / Episode 22: - That '70s Finale House shopper: [as Red shows them around] Is there a bathroom upstairs? Reginald "Red" Forman: [straightfaced] Naw, we just whiz off the roof.
	Season 8 / Episode 12: - Killer Queen Red Forman: [on valentine’s day, after getting caught by Kitty] It's more of a vast inventory of love Kitty Forman: Well you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! [Red looks shocked] Yeah! I can do that too!
	Season 8 / Episode 10: - Sweet Lady Red Forman: See, that's the thing about marriage. No one tells you about the three rings. There's the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering
	Season 8 / Episode 7: - Fun It Donna Pinciotti: [entering the Formans' basement] Quick, turn on the TV. Jackie Burkhart: [groans] Donna, nobody has time for one of your muscle-building shows.
	Season 8 / Episode 1: - Bohemian Rhapsody Kitty Forman: [Kitty is recording an audio tape for Eric in Africa] Eric! Steven just punched Michael! [regains composure] And although I am upset with Steven for hitting Michael, it was very exciting!
	Season 7 / Episode 25: - Til The Next Goodbye Kitty Forman: Eric, Jackie's on the phone. She wants to talk to you. Steven Hyde: Jackie wants to talk to Forman? Kitty Forman: Yes. Now, pick up, because she's been blabbering for 45 minutes, and I never noticed it when she was living here, but she's not that interesting.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - Short And Curlies Donna Pinciotti: You can do anything you want to to Princess Leia. Her force field is down.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - Short And Curlies Kitty Forman: I suggested a photograph - not a go-go dancer from outer space!
	Season 7 / Episode 11: - Winter Patty Ryals: Kitty, these decorations look awful. This isn't your living room. everything has to match. [walks away] Kitty Forman: You should've mentioned that to your plastic surgeon.
	Season 7 / Episode 11: - Winter Patty Ryals: Jackie Burkhart, welcome to the LOPP's christmas party. Who's your boyfriend? Jackie Burkhart: Oh ehm... he can't be here. He's at rich... stockbrokers school. Patty Ryals: Well then i'm just gonna have to seat you with the Single Ladies Of Point Place. Jackie Burkhart: The SLOPP's? Donna Pinciotti: HA! You're a SLOPP.
	Season 7 / Episode 9: - You Can't Always Get What You Want Eric Forman: I don't want to wake up in five years and hate my life. Reginald "Red" Forman: That's unavoidable.
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - Angie Eric: [re: his quitting his roller disco alter ego Rainbow because everyone is teasing him. He is throwing away his skates and outfit.] You know here, I'm just an average kid. But down there, down there I was a star.
	Season 7 / Episode 7: - Mother's Little Helper Michael Kelso: You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.
	Season 7 / Episode 4: - Beast of Burden Donna Pinciotti: Well, last time I was here, they were looking for help. And they have no idea how weird you are. Fez: That IS an advantage.
	Season 7 / Episode 4: - Beast of Burden Jeri: [to Fez, who wants the shampoo boy job] You're a little creepy. But you're cute, so I'll try you out on one of our regular customers. Donna Pinciotti: Yes! That's great, Fez. I have complete faith in you. Jeri: You're gonna wash Donna's hair. Donna Pinciotti: Ooh, you know, I'm kind of exclusive with Paulette. Jeri: I can't just test him on anyone. He seems kind of pervy. Fez: She gets me.
	Season 7 / Episode 2: - Let's Spend The Night Together Jackie Burkhardt: I never thought I'd say this to someone wearing cashmere - but I don't think we can be friends.
	Season 7 / Episode 2: - Let's Spend The Night Together Fez: Oh Donna, if you would knew what I would do to you and your cute blond hair... you would beat the crap out of me Donna Pinciotti: Well than I might as well beat the crap out of you anyway. Fez: YES!
	Season 7 / Episode 2: - Let's Spend The Night Together Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Kelso] I am gonna kill you and mount your head on the TV. And if it helps me get better reception, it'll do more for me than you have your whole life!
	Season 7 / Episode 1: - Time Is On My Side Eric: You know, this whole marriage thing has made me think: why am I in such a hurry to grow up? You know life is like a train. It's bearing down on you, and guess what? It's gonna hit you! So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance, or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer, and just watch it come! Kelso: I did that once. Eric: No, Kelso. Not a real train... a metaphorical one... Kelso: Like a... like a ghost train? [Eric stares at Kelso for a moment] Eric: Yes... a ghost train.
	Season 7 / Episode 1: - Time Is On My Side Eric: Okay! I'm here to earn my dinner! What am I gonna do about Donna?... We're hanging out! What am I gonna do about my job?... I quit! What am I gonna do about my future?... Nothing! When am I moving out?... Make me!
	Season 7 / Episode 1: - Time Is On My Side Reginald "Red" Forman: [talking to Eric at breakfast] I've started to notice something about you. You're STILL HERE.
	Season 6 / Episode 25: - The Seeker Michael Kelso: Would it make you feel better if I told you Eric left a note? Donna Pinciotti: Eric left a note? Michael Kelso: No. But hold on to that feeling.
	Season 6 / Episode 25: - The Seeker Fez: [nervous, to Donna] Eric was afraid getting married and staying here was a mistake... you know, because you'd have to give up your dream of traveling the world and becoming a... ball-breaking feminist.
	Season 6 / Episode 25: - The Seeker Kitty Forman: Trade you a kiss for a lollipop. Steven Hyde: I don't need that kid stuff. [walks to door with everyone, waits until they leave, then turns around and runs back to Kitty, giving her a kiss and taking the lollipop]
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Happy Jack Eric: If God had wanted Mexican girls to wear tops, he wouldn't have created tequila.
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - Who Are You Red Foreman: Kitty for the last time I am not attracted to Pam.
	Season 6 / Episode 14: - Baby Don't You Do It Jackie Burkhardt: Oral test on the penal code! [Jackie, Hyde, and Fez start laughing hysterically]

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