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 | Season 8 / Episode 22: - That '70s Finale Red Forman: And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote, it's called on "On the road to in your ass". |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - That '70s Finale Michael Kelso: Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house? Red Forman: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass. Steven Hyde: And that my friends, is the last foot-in-ass of the decade! Cheers! Kitty Forman: Michael, I just... it's so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room where just asking about you. Michael Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot Mom! Kitty Forman: Oh! Hahahahaha! Red Forman: You know what else it hot?... My foot when it's in your ass. Steven Hyde: Look at that. He got one more in him. |
| Season 8 / Episode 22: - That '70s Finale Eric: Hey guys, last one upstairs has to call Red a dumbass! Michael Kelso: Oh, man... |
 | Season 8 / Episode 21: - Love of My Life Leo: [Hyde re-joined the circle] Hyde man, it's good to have you back. It's like they always say, "Hey Leo, how's it going?" |
| Season 8 / Episode 21: - Love of My Life House shopper: [as Red shows them around] Is there a bathroom upstairs? Reginald "Red" Forman: [straightfaced] Naw, we just whiz off the roof. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 18: - We Will Rock You Reginald "Red" Forman: Well what do you say we all sit down and watch the Packers kick the crap out of the Vikings, huh? Josh: We like the Vikings. Reginald "Red" Forman: What did you say? You're Vikings fans? What the hell is wrong with you? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Josh: Red, come on, it's not our fault. We're from Minnesota. Jeff: We were born this way. Reginald "Red" Forman: Out! Out! Sickos! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 17: - Crazy Little Thing Called Love Kitty Forman: [Discussing possible retirement activities with Red] Well you know, you could take a trip. When Amy O'Brien's husband retired, they went to see the nutcracker museum in Rhode Island. We don't have to go some place that fancy, but there is that cave in West Virginia I've been wanting to see. Steven Hyde: That's a good idea, Red. You and Kitty should travel - you know, see the world. Reginald 'Red' Forman: I saw the world when I was in the Navy. It shot at me. |
| Season 8 / Episode 17: - Crazy Little Thing Called Love Reginald 'Red' Forman: I have to say, I looked forward to retirement as much as I looked forward to playing catch with my son. And both of them have left me bitterly disappointed. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 12: - Killer Queen Red Forman: [on valentine's day, after getting caught by Kitty] It's more of a vast inventory of love Kitty Forman: Well you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! [Red looks shocked] Yeah! I can do that too! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 10: - Sweet Lady Red Forman: See, that's the thing about marriage. No one tells you about the three rings. There's the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering |
 | Season 8 / Episode 7: - Fun It Donna Pinciotti: [entering the Formans' basement] Quick, turn on the TV. Jackie Burkhart: [groans] Donna, nobody has time for one of your muscle-building shows. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 1: - Bohemian Rhapsody Kitty Forman: [Kitty is recording an audio tape for Eric in Africa] Eric! Steven just punched Michael! [regains composure] And although I am upset with Steven for hitting Michael, it was *very* exciting! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 25: - Til The Next Goodbye Kitty Forman: Eric, Jackie's on the phone. She wants to talk to you. Steven Hyde: Jackie wants to talk to Forman? Kitty Forman: Yes. Now, pick up, because she's been blabbering for 45 minutes, and I never noticed it when she was living here, but she's not that interesting. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 24: - Short And Curlies Donna Pinciotti: You can do anything you want to to Princess Leia. Her force field is down. |
| Season 7 / Episode 24: - Short And Curlies Kitty Forman: I suggested a photograph - not a go-go dancer from outer space! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 20: - Gimme Shelter Steven Hyde: Why can't we do something fun? Like drive up to the border and throw stuff at the Canadians. They never fight back because... they're Canadians. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 19: - Who's Been Sleeping Here? Eric Forman: OK Fez, let me ask you a question. If you were choosing godparents, wouldn't you choose Donna and me? Fez: Well, in my country we don't have godparents. If something happens to your parents - tough crap. You're a bum. You Americans and your safety nets. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 14: - Street Fighting Man Crazy Fan: [to Eric] Looks like the Bears have pretty much lost, so why don't you just get lost Reginald "Red" Forman: Look you've made your point, yes he's wearing the [ Bears] shirt but he's my son Crazy Fan: Son or daughter? Eric Forman: You can say what you want about me but its not going to affect me Crazy Fan: [ To Red] Stay out of this baldy Eric Forman: Hey watch what you say about my Dad Crazy Fan: Oh yeah, who's going to make me? Reginald "Red" Forman: I am Eric Forman: No I am [ He knees the fan and then throws him into the ground pounding him, hits an elbow drop] Reginald "Red" Forman: Eric's in a fight, no-one's here, no-one's going to believe me, why didn't I bring my camera! |
| Season 7 / Episode 14: - Street Fighting Man Reginald "Red" Forman: [ To Eric] Why the hell are you wearing a Bears shirt!How could you do this to me? Donna Pinciotti: Maybe he doesn't understand why its wrong, let me say it to him in a way he'll understand [ To Eric] the Packers are like the Jedi, you're wearing a Go Darth Vader shirt. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Eric Forman: Poor little tough guy hiding behind his bluster Steven Hyde: Shut up Forman, I'm fine! Michael Kelso: Sounds like someone needs a tickle Fez: No I'm okay Eric Forman: We're your best friends and we're not going to let you go through this alone Michael Kelso: Eric's right [ climbs over the couch] we're going to do something that guys do Fez: A massage train? Michael Kelso: No [ to Hyde] so we got you a present Michael Kelso: [ The circle] This is a great present guys, I especially like the teeny white paper you wrapped it in Michael Kelso: The Russians have a Russian death ray aimed at the White house, I read it in a magazine Eric Forman: That was the Flash and it is a comic book Fez: I love comic books, sometimes I wish I had thought bubbles, do you see anything? Steven Hyde: The Russians don't have a death ray man but they do have a stupid ray and its pointed at your head Michael Kelso: They do have a death ray and I'll prove it, where's the phone? Eric Forman: Kelso I'm not allowed to make long distance calls without permission Michael Kelso: They've got me on hold, oh and they're playing the theme song to the President Eric Forman: Hail to the chief Michael Kelso: Thank you Eric but I'm trying to enjoy the President's theme song |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Fez: If Hyde's right and the Feds are outside, we have to dispose of the evidence Eric Forman: [ The second circle] Good job disposing of the evidence guys Michael Kelso: Eric you better take this seriously, we have a lot of evidence to dispose of, even more than at the Pink Floyd concert Fez: Without all the smoke machines and lasers this is just like punishment Steven Hyde: I never thought I'd say this but I wish I had more people to share this with |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Steven Hyde: [ The third circle] This is our third circle today and it hasn't calmed me down at all! Fez: I can't be sent back to my home country, my parents would be ashamed, I'd get stoned and then they'd throw rocks at me Eric Forman: I think we all need to settle down! Just settle down! Who's yelling! Who is yelling! |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Eric Forman: The Feds wouldn't park a car right outside my house Steven Hyde: Everything you think the Government aren't doing, they are doing, the only thing they didn't do was land man on the moon, Spielberg shot the whole thing in a Hollywood movie set, that's how he got the job for Jaws! |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Eric Forman: Kelso if you tell the White house there's a death ray, they're going to have you committed, I say go for it Michael Kelso: Of course they're not going to admit it, I got to trick them into saying it, its what cops call [ uses air quotes] tricking them [on the phone] hello white house, I have a few questions, how well is the President protected? Because someone wants to hurt the President, damn right its a threat, a threat on the President's life! Where am I now? I'm at Red Forman's house in Point place Eric Forman: No! [ Eric and Hyde hang up the phone] Steven Hyde: You idiot! You just told them where we are, they're going to come here and arrest us Michael Kelso: They should arrest the Russians, they're the ones with the death ray! Fez: You didn't mention the death ray! Michael Kelso: Ah ha! So you admit there is a death ray! |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Eric Forman: [to a vacuum they think has a bug in it] You're looking for Michael Kelso Michael Kelso: Quit it Eric Forman: No this whole thing is your fault. Michael Kelso: If its anyone's fault, its Hyde's because he got dumped by Jackie so we had to be nice to him Fez: Go easy on the kid! Breaking up with Jackie was the biggest mistake he ever made, remember we were talking about it behind his back! Steven Hyde: Shut up Fez, if I want to hear your advice, I'll kick you in the nads Fez: Oh in that case my advice is please don't kick me in the nads Eric Forman: [in a loud voice] Maybe the Feds have some advice, remember they're listening with the [whispers] V-A-C-U-U-M Steven Hyde: [ They look puzzled for a little bit] It spells Vacuum. Michael Kelso: Vacuum has two U's in it, that's messed up |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Steven Hyde: Seriously Jackie don't you have something to say? Jackie Burkhart: Like what? Steven Hyde: I don't know, I'm a spoilt, crazy whack job and I'm sorry Fez: That's no way to talk to a lady Michael Kelso: Especially a spoilt crazy whack job, that's likely to get you killed Reginald "Red" Forman: [entering] Oh my god, there's a hundred morons in my basement! Not even that's going to ruin my day Eric Forman: Yes only one and one man only has the power to do that, tis I Reginald "Red" Forman: No not even you can do that and who the hell talks like that Kitty Forman: Red, honey you were happy remember? Reginald "Red" Forman: Today's the first day of winter and I'm going fishing Kitty Forman: I'll come too, I'll grab my fishing stick Reginald "Red" Forman: I don't want to go Kitty Forman: Why not? Reginald "Red" Forman: Because I don't want you to go Michael Kelso: [ using a golf stick like a shotgun] Burn |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Karate Instructor: You don't understand Jackie, I am a stranger who wants to hurt you [ gets in a fighting stance] Jackie Burkhart: I'm not buying it Donna Pinciotti: [to Jackie] Okay maybe its not a stranger, maybe its someone who's already hurt you like Hyde Jackie Burkhart: Watch it Donna Donna Pinciotti: You with a glimpse of hope asked him if you had a future and he said I don't know [ to the other students] I don't know! Like Jackie Burkhart wasn't special enough, I thought Jackie Burkhart was special but apparently you're no better than me Jackie Burkhart: All men are bastards! [ She pushes the karate instructor behind the screen and hits knee, punches and elbows to the back of the neck] I'm better then everyone and its Jackie, not Jackie san,just Jackie, dork san [ She kicks him in the nads] |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Fez: [ They think a van parked across the street is the FBI] Its just a dog catcher van Steven Hyde: That's what they want you to think man Michael Kelso: Yeah a real dog catcher van wouldn't say dog catchers because otherwise the dogs would see it and run away Fez: I can hear dogs inside Steven Hyde: Its obviously a recording, alright, on the count of three, one, two, three [ They open the doors releasing a bunch of dogs] Steven Hyde: I don't know if its the fresh air talking but I'm beginning to think this entire thing is just our imagination Eric Forman: I think we need to let this whole imagination thing go [ almost hits Fez with his red plastic light saber] Whoa, watch out, I almost cut you right in half there man |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Steven Hyde: [ Fourth circle] The Feds have ruined the circle man Michael Kelso: The circle's what's keeping us sharp, if it wasn't for the circle, we wouldn't have known the Feds were after us, planning our every move, I say thank you for the circle |
| Season 7 / Episode 13: - Can't You Hear Me Knocking Jackie Burkhart: There were dogs on the path so we climbed to the top of this tall thing to get away from them Donna Pinciotti: That was me Fez: Dogs? Donna Pinciotti: What did you do! Eric Forman: What! Nothing! Kelso thought there was a death ray so he called the White House and we thought the Feds were after us! But its okay, we just imagined it Donna Pinciotti: I'm cutting you off, where's your stash? Michael Kelso: Its all gone man |
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