05x11 - Desperate Measures Season 5 / Episode 11: - Desperate Measures

Major Samantha Carter: Sir, are you okay?
Jack O'Neill: I've been shot, Carter.
Major Samantha Carter: I know. Your vest stopped one of the bullets.
Jack O'Neill: I want sleeves on my vest.
05x10 - 2001 Season 5 / Episode 10: - 2001

Major General George Hammond: The news must have come as a shock to them.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Ah, not really.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What Jack is trying to say is that if they were surprised, they'd never show it.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: They don't get excited in general, General. It's like an entire planet of accountants.
05x10 - 2001 Season 5 / Episode 10: - 2001

Colonel Jack O'Neill: [after traveling to a world that looks exactly like Earth] Just when you think you're not in Kansas anymore, it turns out you are.
05x10 - 2001 Season 5 / Episode 10: - 2001

Mollem: Colonel, you seem pensive.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No, I was just thinking.
05x10 - 2001 Season 5 / Episode 10: - 2001

Dr. Daniel Jackson: I just hope we don't regret giving them those gate addresses.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I don't think we will... the first one being a black hole, and all. They get progressively darker after that.
05x09 - Between Two Fires Season 5 / Episode 9: - Between Two Fires

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Do you people *practice* being vague?
05x09 - Between Two Fires Season 5 / Episode 9: - Between Two Fires

Dr. Daniel Jackson: So, push on blindly then.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Blindly, yes. But we still have our slightly heightened sense of smell.
05x08 - The Tomb Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Tomb

Major Vallarin: Wait here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes, you go down the dark hallway alone and I'll wait here in the dark room alone.
05x06 - Rite of Passage Season 5 / Episode 6: - Rite of Passage

Cassandra: Dominic's waiting.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Fine. Invite him in. I'm sure he'd love to have a piece of birthday cake that Sam went to all the trouble to bake.
Major Samantha Carter: Buy.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Bring.
05x05 - Red Sky Season 5 / Episode 5: - Red Sky

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'm not asking you to change the course of their development, just fix the damn sun! No one will know. We won't tell.
05x05 - Red Sky Season 5 / Episode 5: - Red Sky

Major Samantha Carter: Sir, I've been thinking.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'd be shocked if you ever stopped, Carter.
05x05 - Red Sky Season 5 / Episode 5: - Red Sky

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I have great confidence in you Carter. Go on back to the SGC and... confuse Hammond.
05x05 - Red Sky Season 5 / Episode 5: - Red Sky

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Hi, folks, listen. You all know Freyr, right? Big guy, kinda good-lookin', lot of fancy gold armor? [everyone says yes] Well, here's a flash for ya. That's *not* what he looks like.
Elrad: What do you mean?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: He's an alien who's been pretending to be your god. He doesn't have a Chariot. He's got a spaceship! Spaceship. Big machine like the one we were building. Only his is way better... and not blown up. I'm not kidding you, folks. This little fella is about three feet tall, got clammy gray skin, big black eyes, and skinny, tiny little arms and legs, like toothpicks.
05x05 - Red Sky Season 5 / Episode 5: - Red Sky

Major General George Hammond: I thought the odds of success for this scenario were one in a million, Major?
Major Samantha Carter: Yes, sir. But I now think that we can increase that estimate to one percent.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: It's your call, General. I only understand about one percent of what she says half the time.
05x05 - Red Sky Season 5 / Episode 5: - Red Sky

Colonel Jack O'Neill: [to Carter after the sun returns to normal] Am I having a stroke?
05x04 - The Fifth Man Season 5 / Episode 4: - The Fifth Man

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I wasn't gonna let you die, Lieutenant. It's, like, a ton of paper work.
05x04 - The Fifth Man Season 5 / Episode 4: - The Fifth Man

Teal'c: If I were still loyal to the Goa'uld, you would know it.
Colonel Frank Simmons: Really?
Teal'c: It would be immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.
05x04 - The Fifth Man Season 5 / Episode 4: - The Fifth Man

Colonel Jack O'Neill: You know what the Goa'uld really want from us? Minnesota. That's what. For the fishing mostly.
05x03 - Ascension Season 5 / Episode 3: - Ascension

Jack O'Neill: So, now what?
Teal'c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-O.
Jack O'Neill: Call Daniel.
05x03 - Ascension Season 5 / Episode 3: - Ascension

Jack O'Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal'c: Star Wars.
Jack O'Neill: He's seen it, what? Eight times?
Teal'c: Nine.
Jack O'Neill: Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay.
Major Samantha Carter: You've never seen Star Wars?
Jack O'Neill: Well, you know me and sci-fi.
05x03 - Ascension Season 5 / Episode 3: - Ascension

Dr. Daniel Jackson: I agree with Sam. We don't know enough about what happened on that planet, yet.
Colonel Frank Simmons: Need I remind you, Dr. Jackson, of the dangers that we're trying to defend Earth against?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [sarcastic] Oh, uh, could you? I mean, go slow.
05x03 - Ascension Season 5 / Episode 3: - Ascension

Major Samantha Carter: You made it?
Orlin: You wouldn't believe the things that you can make from the common, simple items lying around your planet. Which reminds me, you're going to need a new microwave.
05x03 - Ascension Season 5 / Episode 3: - Ascension

Major Samantha Carter: And you ordered the materials online?
Orlin: Mostly. Sorry, but you're gonna have a pretty big credit card bill this month. Oh, and you're going to need a new toaster.
05x02 - Threshold (3) Season 5 / Episode 2: - Threshold (3)

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woman? D-Did he just call me a-a-a woman?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yes, I believe he did.
05x01 - Enemies (2) Season 5 / Episode 1: - Enemies (2)

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'm enjoying their style. Shoot first, send flowers later.
05x01 - Enemies (2) Season 5 / Episode 1: - Enemies (2)

Major Samantha Carter: This way, sir. It's not far.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Carter, how do you know where to go in a place like this?
Major Samantha Carter: I studied the Tok'ra specs of the ship while we were on Vorash.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You know how to have a good time, don't you?
Major Samantha Carter: Havin' a good time now, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You go, girl.
05x01 - Enemies (2) Season 5 / Episode 1: - Enemies (2)

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I believe someone said "We're not gonna make it!"
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Sam, let's get the hyperdrive running.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Excuse me. I distinctly remember someone saying "We're not gonna make it!" I think we made it.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: I'm sorry , I over-reacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren't going to make it.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yes, well, maybe next time you'll just wait and see.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What?
Major Samantha Carter: [grinning] Welcome to my life!
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What?
04x22 - Exodus (1) Season 4 / Episode 22: - Exodus (1)

Teal'c: And yet, knowing what Apophis did to Sha're, would you not trade it all for the opportunity to crush the life from his throat with your bare hands?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I'd be lying to you if I said I'd never thought about it but that doesn't mean I'd do it, given a more rational option.
04x22 - Exodus (1) Season 4 / Episode 22: - Exodus (1)

Teal'c: The propulsion system and communication array have been damaged beyond repair.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Ah, that's good. Because according to my calculations we are roughly in the middle of nowhere. Give or take.
04x22 - Exodus (1) Season 4 / Episode 22: - Exodus (1)

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I think we have a problem here. I figure that flashing wasn't good news, and the fact that in Goa'uld it says... Warning, Warning.