Quark

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

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Played by:

Armin Shimerman

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Quark Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 25: - What You Leave Behind, Part I Quark: [confidently to Kira] That man loves me. Couldn't you see? It was written all over his back.
	Season 7 / Episode 25: - What You Leave Behind, Part I Quark: Earth's nothing more than a rotating ball of boredom.
	Season 7 / Episode 25: - What You Leave Behind, Part I Colonel Kira Nerys: Just between you and me, all bets are off. Quark: What're you talking about? Colonel Kira Nerys: As of this moment, betting pools of any kind are illegal on the station. I catch someone placing a bet, I put you in a holding cell for fifteen days, is that clear? Quark: Fifteen days? Can I bring my own pillow? Colonel Kira Nerys: Quark. Quark: It's clear, it's clear. Colonel Kira Nerys: Better be.
	Season 7 / Episode 25: - What You Leave Behind, Part I Quark: A-ha, I knew it! When I saw the two of you slip out, I said to myself, that no-good, misanthropic, cantankerous changeling is trying to sneak off the station without anyone noticing. Odo: That was the idea. Quark: Well, it's not gonna happen, is it? Odo: Apparently not. Quark: So - now that I'm here... is there something you want to say to me? Odo: Such as? Quark: Such as... 'Goodbye. You certainly were a worthy adversary.' Or maybe something with the words 'mutual respect' in it. Odo: No. Quark: No? What do you mean, no? Odo: I mean, no. I have nothing I want to say to you. Quark: You telling me that after all these years, after all we've been through, you're not even gonna say goodbye to me? Odo: That's right. Nerys, I'll be on the runabout. Colonel Kira Nerys: Don't take it hard, Quark. Quark: Hard? What're you talking about? That man loves me! Couldn't you see? It was written all over his back.
	Season 7 / Episode 25: - What You Leave Behind, Part I Quark: Ah, it's like I said: the more things change, the more they stay the same.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: I think I'm gonna like being Nagus. Don't stop.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: A Nagus has to lead by example. My greed has to be a shining light to everyone, a testament to the rewards of avarice.
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Brunt: Surely you're aware of the new regulation making all bribes tax-deductible? Quark: Wait, wait, wait, wait - did you just use the T-word? Brunt: You mean 'tax'? Quark: Shh! Are you telling me there are... Ts? On Ferenginar?
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: Whatever happened to survival of the fittest? Whatever happened to the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer? Whatever happened to pure, unadulterated greed?
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: Did you know this Congress of Economic Meddlers actually passed legislation, making monopolies illegal? What's the point of being in business if you can't corner the market, gouge your customers? Rom: There's something to be said for keeping prices down by insuring healthy competition. So - what're you gonna do with the bar? Quark: You can't even dump industrial waste anymore because it might harm the natural habitat. I'm supposed to start worrying about animals now - look how they live, wallowing in dirt, sleeping in trees. That's not natural! Rom: I suppose you could argue that Ferenginar's biodiversity is a precious resource that belongs to everyone. So... what are you going to do with the bar? Quark: And don't even get me started about this whole labor rights thing. What have we come to if you can't demand sexual favors from the people in your employ? Rom: Unharassed workers are productive workers. So, what-are-you-going-to-do-with-the-bar?
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: I won't preside over the demise of Ferengi civilization, not me! The line has to be drawn here. This far and no further!
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: As far as I'm concerned, the Ferenginar that I knew doesn't exist anymore. No... I take that back. It will exist, right here in this bar. This establishment will be the last outpost of what made Ferenginar great: the unrelenting lust for profit!
	Season 7 / Episode 24: - The Dogs of War Quark: I suppose you're gonna let me keep the 5000 bars of latinum too? Rom: You're my brother. Quark: And you're an idiot! But I love you.
	Season 7 / Episode 20: - The Changing Face of Evil Odo: What's so funny? Quark: Marriage - it changes everything... If you're not careful, that could be you and Kira.
	Season 7 / Episode 17: - Penumbra Quark: He'll be back before you know it. Lieutenant Ezri Dax: You really think so? Quark: Absolutely. The night before he went on patrol, he brought the Koraga's crew in here and bought them three barrels of bloodwine. Lieutenant Ezri Dax: And? Quark: And he didn't pay the tab! Do you really think he'd go to Sto-vo-kor owing me money?
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - Chimera Odo: Laas was only doing what comes naturally to us. Quark: You never pulled a stunt like that. You're smart enough to know that people don't wanna be reminded that you're different. Who wants to see somebody turn into goo?
	Season 7 / Episode 14: - Chimera Quark: Don't you get it, Odo? We humanoids are a product of millions of years of evolution. Our ancestors learned the hard way that what you don't know might kill you. They wouldn't have survived if they hadn't jumped back when they encountered a snake coiled in the muck; and now, millions of years later, that instinct is still there. It's genetic. Our tolerance to other life forms doesn't extend beyond the two-armed, two-legged variety. I hate to break this to you; but when you're in your natural state, you're more than our poor old genes can handle.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Quark: [observing Dax and Bashir in an animated conversation] Have you ever seen anything so disgusting? The way he's undressing her with his eyes... And look at his hands! Odo: What about his hands? Quark: His gestures, they're obscene. You should arrest him. Odo: You're joking. Quark: He's pitiful. Doesn't he realize she loves me? Odo: I don't think he does. To be honest, I don't think she does either. Quark: Thanks for your support.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Zek: [on a recorded message] You'll never guess where I am! Quark: Risa? Zek: If you said Risa, guess again.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Ezri Tigan: If you're found in Alliance territory without the cloaking device, you're dead. Quark: Are you suggesting we should go back home? Ezri Tigan: It's the smart move. Quark: Do we look smart to you?
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Ezri Tigan: Anyone else here? Quark: [suggestive] Just you and me. Ezri Tigan: Is that the bedroom? Quark: I owe you... Ow! Does it have to be so rough the first time? Ezri Tigan: [holding a knife to Quark's throat] I don't know what you think is going on here, but think again!
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Quark: He's the Nagus. He's the man my mother loves, not to mention he's the head of the Ferengi Alliance. Ezri Tigan: In other words, he's rich! Quark: [chuckles] They don't come any richer. Ezri Tigan: I see. How much are you expecting to get out of him? Quark: Knowing the Nagus, I'd say, a pat on the head and a fistful of empty promises. Ezri Tigan: I don't understand. Quark: There's nothing to understand. He's my Nagus; and when your Nagus gets in trouble, you're supposed to do something about it. Ezri Tigan: Why? Quark: I don't know - loyalty. Ezri Tigan: [incredulous] You're kidding me, right? You're doing this out of loyalty? Quark: Would you stop looking at me like that? You're making me feel like an idiot. Ezri Tigan: I hope so.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Rom: I told you, cloaking the cloaking device is a good idea. Quark: Brilliant. But couldn't you have done something about its weight? Rom: Nope. But if it makes you feel any better, the cloaking device on the Defiant is a lot heavier. Quark: Tell it to my hernia.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Quark: Now, if you give us the Nagus, we'll be on our way, and you can go on with your plans for mass destruction, genocide and all those other good things.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Emperor's New Cloak Rom: [about alternate Brunt] He's so nice... Quark: Scary, isn't it?
	Season 7 / Episode 10: - It's Only a Paper Moon Ezri Dax: At first, it struck me as a little... peculiar. But after I thought it over, I began to think that this might be a good sign after all. Quark: How can hiding in one of Julian's adolescent programs be a good sign? Dr. Julian Bashir: Hey... Jake Sisko: It could be worse. He could be hiding in the Alamo program. Leeta: Or that ridiculous secret agent program. Dr. Julian Bashir: [defensively] Hey... Rom: Or that stupid Viking program! Dr. Julian Bashir: HEY!
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Siege of AR-558 Quark: Let me tell you something about humans, nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people become as nasty and as violent as the most blood thirsty Klingon.
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Siege of AR-558 Quark: Well, aren't you gonna say something? Nog: I feel sorry for the Jem'Hadar.
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Siege of AR-558 Quark: Take a look around you, Nog. This isn't the Starfleet you know. Nog: Sure it is. It's just that these people have been through a lot. They've been holed up here a long time, seen two thirds of their unit killed. But they haven't surrendered. Do you know why? Because they're heroes.
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Siege of AR-558 Quark: Rule of Acquisition 125: "You can't make a deal if you're dead."

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