Stacked Quotes

Stacked

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Third Date Harold March: I could never understand why people got so worked up over human sexuality. Katrina: Or why someone would wait till the third date. Am I right, Harold? Harold March: Why do you hate yourself, Kat?
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Goodwizzle Hunting Skyler Dayton: Look at Harold. He's always put together. Sophisticated... academic... with a flair. Harold March: I can't take all the credit. My personal shopper is a gay.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - iPod Gavin P. Miller: I'm freaking out! It turns out this woman I've been seeing is not exactly who she said she was. Harold March: I've been there. It's quite awkward. The key is to check for an Adam's apple.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Darling Nikki Harold March: Anyone, raise your hand if you hear a humming sound. [man raises his hand] See! Ha! He hears it! Crazy Guy: I've been hearing it since 1963. Same year aliens put a transmitter up my rectum. Harold March: Well, we'll look there last.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Nobody Says I Love You Brenda: Oh my God, I'll be right back. I just told you I loved you and I'm not wearing any glitter.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Ex-Appeal Skyler Dayton: ...and if you sign up for our membership card I can take 20% off right now. Male Customer: Cool! I know exactly which 20% I want you to take off.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - A Fan For All Seasons Stuart Miller: Believe it or not, Harold, I have dated attractive women. Harold March: Really? Stuart Miller: Yeah. Yes really. Remember Jeanine? Harold March: Jeanine? If we found life like that on Mars we'd have left it there.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Beat the Candidate Stuart Miller: [Skyler's showing up for her first day of work] Hey... there she is. 10 a.m. on the dot. Ready for your first day, huh? Skyler Dayton: I can't believe how early you guys open. It's like working on a farm.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gavin P. Miller: Stuart. Did you read this? Random House is coming out with the complete annotated Faulkner collection - Stuart, that is not funny! Stuart Miller: Lets take a vote. Everybody who thinks it's funny put your hand on your chin. Gavin P. Miller: Why do you keep messing with my cardboard cut-out? Stuart Miller: Well, why is that creepy thing still in our office? Gavin P. Miller: Because I might decide to have another signing for my book. Stuart Miller: What for? Mom already has a copy.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Stuart Miller: Why do you torment yourself with a constant reminder of your failure? Gavin P. Miller: It wasn't my failure; it's society's. My book was universally praised and no-one bought it. Meanwhile Britney Spears spits out a novel and 'Oops, I Wrote It Again' tops the best seller list.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gavin P. Miller: Professor, is it just me, or are the world's standards deteriorating? Harold March: Ah, standards can kiss my ass! Standards keep people from taking chances. In the space program we had a poster up on the wall back when we were building Apollo. It said: if you wanna make an omelette, you gotta break a few eggs. The astronauts did not like that poster.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Stuart Miller: Books on human behavior can be found under 'Psychology' and 'Self-Help' and my name is Stuart, and I can be found under 'Dangerous Men'. Skyler Dayton: So can I. That's why I need the book.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Stuart Miller: Oh, come on, let's hire her. She could be great for this place; add a little life around here. Gavin P. Miller: Don't be ridiculous! Do we really want someone who's going to recommend books based on the authors' pictures? Stuart Miller: So what! Gavin P. Miller: She chose College of the Desert guy over Edward Berlinger! Harold March: Edward Berlinger? I just read about him. Gavin P. Miller: Yes, he's probably won another award. Harold March: No, they found his wife's head in his freezer! Skyler Dayton: Really! Hah! Gavin P. Miller: We open at ten. Don't be late. Harold March: Dear God! He strangled her with his Nobel prize.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gavin P. Miller: God, she's so beautiful. Gavin P. Miller: I suppose. But I prefer a different kind of woman. Like Charlotte. She can speak four languages; she can converse on world affairs. Stuart Miller: She can frost a martini glass just by touching it.
	Unknown Episode: Harold March: At NASA, we used to have a poster on the wall. It said, "If you're gonna make an omlette, you have to break a few eggs." The astronauts did not like that poster.
	Unknown Episode: Skyler Dayton: Call me old-fashioned, but if you're going to sleep with two women, one of them had better be me!
	Unknown Episode: Stuart Miller: Books on relationships can be found under Human Behavior and Self-Help. My name's Stuart, and I can be found under Dangerous Men. Skyler Dayton: So can I, which is why I need the book.
	Unknown Episode: Harold March: [sees Katrina coming in] Finally! Where's my coffee? Katrina: [getting behind the counter] I dunno, where's the life I always wanted?
	Unknown Episode: Woman: I would kill for a figure like that. Skyler Dayton: Hey, I can hear you. And it's not like I bought the last pair.
	Unknown Episode: Harold March: [Stuart and Gavin want Harold to give some kids a science lecture in the store] If I had wanted to lecture to a bunch of kids whose only accomplishments were playing video games and throwing up, I would never have left Dartmouth!
	Unknown Episode: Skyler Dayton: I seem to have a thing for guys in a band. And actors. And pro athletes. And circus performers. Katrina: I seem to have a thing for guys who are one naked girl away from realizing they're gay.
	Unknown Episode: Gavin P. Miller: Is it just me, Professor, or are the world's standards deteriorating? Harold March: Standards can kiss my ass! Standards keep people from taking chances.
	Unknown Episode: Stuart Miller: [after reacting strongly to Skyler tell him that she loved him] How am I going to look her in the eye after this? Gavin P. Miller: Shouldn't be a problem, it's not where you normally look.
	Unknown Episode: Gavin P. Miller: [after hearing that Skyler is telling everyone she loves them] What kind of new age nonsense is that? This is a place of business, not some hippy love-in. Katrina: Hippy love-in? Harold March: [sternly] Hey! We were going to change the world!
	Unknown Episode: Katrina: It's like sex. Haven't you ever faked it just to boost a guy's ego? Skyler Dayton: Never. That would only be reinforcing a bad habit. Katrina: Okay, how about to just get it over with? Skyler Dayton: Yeah, I've done that.

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