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Characters: #4 of 5 (Full List)
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 | Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Third Date Harold March: I could never understand why people got so worked up over human sexuality. Katrina: Or why someone would wait till the third date. Am I right, Harold? Harold March: Why do you hate yourself, Kat? |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Goodwizzle Hunting Skyler Dayton: Look at Harold. He's always put together. Sophisticated... academic... with a flair. Harold March: I can't take all the credit. My personal shopper is a gay. |
| Season 2 / Episode 5: - iPod Gavin P. Miller: I'm freaking out! It turns out this woman I've been seeing is not exactly who she said she was. Harold March: I've been there. It's quite awkward. The key is to check for an Adam's apple. |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - Darling Nikki Harold March: Anyone, raise your hand if you hear a humming sound. [man raises his hand] See! Ha! He hears it! Crazy Guy: I've been hearing it since 1963. Same year aliens put a transmitter up my rectum. Harold March: Well, we'll look there last. |
| Season 1 / Episode 3: - A Fan For All Seasons Stuart Miller: Believe it or not, Harold, I have dated attractive women. Harold March: Really? Stuart Miller: Yeah. Yes really. Remember Jeanine? Harold March: Jeanine? If we found life like that on Mars we'd have left it there. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gavin P. Miller: Professor, is it just me, or are the world's standards deteriorating? Harold March: Ah, standards can kiss my ass! Standards keep people from taking chances. In the space program we had a poster up on the wall back when we were building Apollo. It said: if you wanna make an omelette, you gotta break a few eggs. The astronauts did not like that poster. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Stuart Miller: Oh, come on, let's hire her. She could be great for this place; add a little life around here. Gavin P. Miller: Don't be ridiculous! Do we really want someone who's going to recommend books based on the authors' pictures? Stuart Miller: So what! Gavin P. Miller: She chose College of the Desert guy over Edward Berlinger! Harold March: Edward Berlinger? I just read about him. Gavin P. Miller: Yes, he's probably won another award. Harold March: No, they found his wife's head in his freezer! Skyler Dayton: Really! Hah! Gavin P. Miller: We open at ten. Don't be late. Harold March: Dear God! He strangled her with his Nobel prize. |
| Unknown Episode: Harold March: At NASA, we used to have a poster on the wall. It said, "If you're gonna make an omlette, you have to break a few eggs." The astronauts did *not* like that poster. |
| Unknown Episode: Harold March: [sees Katrina coming in] Finally! Where's my coffee? Katrina: [getting behind the counter] I dunno, where's the life I always wanted? |
| Unknown Episode: Harold March: [Stuart and Gavin want Harold to give some kids a science lecture in the store] If I had wanted to lecture to a bunch of kids whose only accomplishments were playing video games and throwing up, I would never have left Dartmouth! |
| Unknown Episode: Gavin P. Miller: Is it just me, Professor, or are the world's standards deteriorating? Harold March: Standards can kiss my ass! Standards keep people from taking chances. |
| Unknown Episode: Gavin P. Miller: [after hearing that Skyler is telling everyone she loves them] What kind of new age nonsense is that? This is a place of business, not some hippy love-in. Katrina: Hippy love-in? Harold March: [sternly] Hey! We were going to change the world! |
| Previous: Gavin P. Miller | Next: Katrina |
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