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Dr. Mark Craig Quotes
 | Season 1 / Episode 15: - Monday, Tuesday, Sven's Day Dr. Mark Craig: This is not a stag party, Ehrlich. Get a date! And while you're at it, get a haircut. |
| Season 1 / Episode 3: - Down's Syndrome Dr. Mark Craig: What a rathole this is. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Bypass Dr. Mark Craig: [breezes into the room, almost bumping into a nurse on the way out] Excuse me. [Immediately opens Broadwater's file] Mr Broadwater. How are we this morning? Mr. Broadwater: Feelin' pretty good. Dr. Mark Craig: Well, I have some good news, and I have some bad. Two of the major vessels to your heart, the left anterior descending artery, and the circumflex artery, are 90% obstructed. Mr. Broadwater: [stunned] But I feel fine. Dr. Mark Craig: You didn't feel "fine" when you had those chest pains walking up a flight of stairs, now did you? Mr. Broadwater: Did I have a heart attack? Dr. Mark Craig: No, but when we put you on the treadmill, your electrocardiogram indicated ischemia. And the angiography - do you remember when we put the dye through the heart? Revealed obstructions... VERY serious obstructions. Mr. Broadwater: [clutches his chest, breathing heavily] 90% obstructed? Dr. Mark Craig: [holds up a long rubber tube] Let me show you something, Mr Broadwater - what does this look like to you? Mr. Broadwater: A rubber tube. Dr. Mark Craig: Arteries are tubes. They carry the blood and oxygen from the heart. Now, bear with me. If we obstruct the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain... [ties a tight knot in the tube]... What do you think happens? Mr. Broadwater: [gets up unsteadily] I-I don't believe this. I'm only 40 years old here. Doc, you... Dr. Mark Craig: [curtly, shouting] You're fat. You smoke. Your father died of a heart attack when he was 42. Mr. Broadwater: But Doctor, there must be SOMETHING... Dr. Mark Craig: You are walking a tightrope, Mr Broadwater. If it isn't the stairs today, it'll be washing the car tomorrow, or bouncing your little boy on your knee - or, if you're lucky, when you're sleeping. Mr. Broadwater: [sits back down weakly] Ohhhh, my dear God. Dr. Mark Craig: Now, for the good news. [pause] I'm going to save you. Mr. Broadwater: How? Dr. Mark Craig: Triple bypass. Mr. Broadwater: Surgery? Dr. Mark Craig: [nods firmly] We'll give you a few moments to think about it, notify your loved ones. Do I have your complete cooperation? [holds out his hand] Mr. Broadwater: [shakes it half-heartedly]... I guess so. Dr. Mark Craig: Excellent. [shakes Broadwater's hand, snaps the file shut, and breezes back out without further comment] |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Mark Craig: "Premature is a relative term, Donald." |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Mark Craig: I'm sick and tired of sacrificing residents, so you can feel like Mother Teresa. |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Mark Craig: Do me a favor, say "moose and squirrel". Natasha: [in her thick Russian accent] Moose and squirrel. Dr. Mark Craig: That's what I thought. |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Mark Craig: [looking at an x-ray] There's a liver not long for this world. Dr. Daniel Auschlander: It's mine. |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Wayne Fiscus: I have a hunch. Dr. Mark Craig: So did Quasimodo. |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Mark Craig: [to Ehrlich] You moron! |
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