Sports Night Quotes

Sports Night

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus Calvin Trager: Anybody who can't make money off Sports Night should get out of the money-making business.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus The Stranger: Dana. I'm what the world considers to be a phenomenally successful man. And I've failed much more than I've succeeded. And each time I fail, I get my people together, and I say, "Where are we going?" And it starts to get better. And that's what you should do.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus The Stranger: Do you feel responsible for the show failing? Dana Whitaker: The show didn't fail. The man I work for, a guy named Isaac Jaffee... he took a chance on me, and I didn't rise to meet his... expectations. And there are people who work for me who needed me to be a better field captain. The show didn't fail. But I do feel responsible, and that's gonna have to be all right with you. The Stranger: You know what would make you feel better right now? Dana Whitaker: Really, nothing. The Stranger: You don't want to hear what I think would make you feel better? Dana Whitaker: I really don't. The Stranger: In the three day history of our relationship, have I been wrong about anything? Dana Whitaker: Look... The Stranger: Dana, I'm what the world considers to be a phenomenally succesful man, and I've failed much more than I've succeeded. And each time I fail, I get my people together, and I say, "Where are we going?" And it starts to get better.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus Dana Whitaker: [out of breath] Is your name... The Stranger: Dana, what... Dana Whitaker: Is your name... The Stranger: What the hell happened? Dana Whitaker: I had to run from... I think I'm hyperventilating. The Stranger: Jack, you got a paper bag? Dana Whitaker: Is your name... The Stranger: Stop talking. Dana Whitaker: I just need your water. The Stranger: That was a gin martini. Dana Whitaker: Yes. I know that now. Is your name Calvin Trager? The Stranger: Yes. Dana Whitaker: There was something that was big and you invented something that made it small? The Stranger: Yes. Dana Whitaker: You own Quo Vadimus. The Stranger: Yes. Dana Whitaker: You bought Continental Corp? The Stranger: Turns out I picked up a few more shares of stock, yeah. Dana Whitaker: Why didn't you tell me? The Stranger: I just wrote a check for 18 billion dollars Dana. My scouting says you don't keep a secret so good.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus Dan Rydell: She walks out of my life a year ago. She walks back in with cards and a flower.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus Dana Whitaker: Isaac doesn't trust that when he tells me something, I can be cool. He thinks it's gonna spread around and the information'll get all twisted and I'm going to show him he's wrong. Isaac Jaffe: Three, two, one... Jeremy Goodwin: Isaac, I don't know if you heard. Six this morning there was a bid from an Italian airline called Platypus. Isaac Jaffe: Yeah. Keep it under your hat, would you?
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus Rebecca Wells: Would you like to take me to dinner? Dan Rydell: I just got hit in the head with a ladder. I gotta buy you food now?
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Quo Vadimus Casey McCall: They welcome the Tigers to the house that Ruth built this evening. Dan Rydell: Excuse me, Casey, but Ruth didn't build the house this evening, did he? Casey McCall: No, Dan, and thank you very much for correcting my every mistake, no matter how small, oh, these many years. Dan Rydell: What are friends for? Casey McCall: Annoying the hell out of you?
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Dana Whitaker: I really just came up here to get some drinks for my friends. The Stranger: I have no reason not to believe you. Dana Whitaker: I'm just saying I'm not in a mood to be bought a drink by a guy in a suit. The Stranger: I'm not wearing a suit. For that matter I wasn't offering you a drink. Dana Whitaker: Yeah? You left your Wall Street office at 8:30, went to your two-bedroom on the East Side and changed into your "I don't always wear a suit" clothes. The Stranger: I don't live on the East Side Dana Whitaker: If you live on the West Side, then you're stuck back in college. The Stranger: I live in Paris. Dana Whitaker: [Laughs] France? The Stranger: Yeah. Sometimes Seattle. Sometimes Chicago. Sometimes Tokyo. Sometimes St. Bart's. Dana Whitaker: Tell me... Seriously, are there women who believe you when you say that? The Stranger: Not many. So, Dana, I couldn't help overhearing you and your friends a while ago. Dana Whitaker: We're sitting on the other side of the restaurant. The Stranger: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about a Time Warner takeover. Dana Whitaker: [Long pause] You wouldn't, huh? The Stranger: They'll kick out when the stock hits 27. Dana Whitaker: How did you know my name? The Stranger: The bartender said it. Dana Whitaker: No he didn't. The Stranger: Sure he did. How else would I know it?
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Elliot: These are for you. Dan Rydell: Elliot, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing... Elliot: They're not from me. Dan Rydell: Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while?
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Dan Rydell: Same show, bigger audience, sunshine, Pacific Ocean, new car, Laker Girls, plus the L.A. Philharmonic with Mr. Esa-Pekka Salonen at the podium. You know where he's from? Casey McCall: Helsinki. Dan Rydell: That's right. You know where that is? Casey McCall: Finland. Dan Rydell: That's right.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Dan Rydell: "R.W." It says, "R.W." Casey McCall: What else does it say? Dan Rydell: Just says, "R.W." [pause] Robert Wagner has sent me flowers.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Dan Rydell: Caller, how much experience do you have coaching at the major league level? Caller: Well, I never coached pro ball, or anything. Dan Rydell: Semi-pro? Caller: No. Dan Rydell: College? Caller: No. Dan Rydell: Okay, Joe Torre's been coaching baseball for about 430 years. You gotta girlfriend? Caller: Nnn-no. Dan Rydell: This is why. You interested in buying Continental Corp? Caller: No. Dan Rydell: Okay, then we're hanging up now.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Casey McCall: [closing the Show] Thats all for us tonight. Remember please, if you are going out on a date and you want to impress someone. "Its a Dog Eat Dog World " not a " Doggy Dog World ".
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - La Forza Del Destino Natalie Hurley: Jeremy, one day you'll see that my love for you isn't the product of liquor-induced mood swings and that I'm yours for the taking at your command. And that the day I broke up with your was the most regrettable day of my life. Jeremy Goodwin: Okay. But I broke up with you. Natalie Hurley: I find you loathsome, and my hatred of you knows no bounds. Jeremy Goodwin: Okay.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Bells And A Siren Elliot: Dana, you know about the problem with the fire alarms in the studio? Dana Whitaker: What's the problem with the fire alarms in the studio? Kim: They go off when there's no fire in the studio. Dana Whitaker: Really? Elliot: They've been going off at night. Dana Whitaker: Are they going to go of during the show? Kim: We had 'em disconnected. Dana Whitaker: What if there's a fire? Kim: It's the studio. You'll see it on television.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Bells And A Siren Isaac: You said, "Doesn't it look to you like they're talking about cutbacks?" I said, "Yes." You said, "Natalie's in jeopardy." I said, "Yes." And what else did I say? Dana Whitaker: You said, "Keep it to yourself." Isaac: I said, "Keep it to yourself!" I said, "Before we start a panic, let's know what we're talking about." Dana Whitaker: Yes. Isaac: Did you keep it to yourself? Dana Whitaker: No. Isaac: What'd you do? Dana Whitaker: I told Natalie. Isaac: And what happened? Dana Whitaker: Panic ensued. Isaac: Plan well executed.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Bells And A Siren Dan Rydell: The high-water mark was when I was mistaken for a Backstreet Boy. Is there a Backstreet Boy I look like? Jeremy Goodwin: Yeah. Dan Rydell: Which one? Jeremy Goodwin: That... guy.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - April is the Cruelest Month Isaac Jaffe: And that was a mistake. God looked down at his lineup card, turned to a kid on the bench and said, "Moses, you're up!"
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian Jeremy Goodwin: Fire me. Isaac: What? Jeremy Goodwin: Fire me. Do it now. Isaac: Why? Jeremy Goodwin: I'm a bad worker. Isaac: No you're not. Jeremy Goodwin: I come late. I leave early. Isaac: You come early and you stay late. You come in on your days off. Jeremy Goodwin: And isn't that a little weird? Isaac: Oh, yeah. Jeremy Goodwin: Well then that's enough, Isaac. Fire me!
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian Jeremy Goodwin: How can it be raining at Indian Wells? Isaac: Maybe it's the rainy season. Jeremy Goodwin: [patiently] Indian Wells is a desert, Isaac. If deserts had a rainy season they'd be called something else. Isaac: Fair point.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian Isaac: I'm not firing you. Jeremy Goodwin: I say things behind your back. Isaac: No you don't. Jeremy Goodwin: It's behind your back, Isaac. There's no way you'd know. Isaac: It'd get back to me. Jeremy Goodwin: No these things are too terrible and I can't live with the guilt. I'll save you the trouble of firing me and simply offer my resignation. Isaac: I won't except it. Jeremy Goodwin: You have to except it. Isaac: You have a contract. Jeremy Goodwin: Then fire me. Isaac: No! Jeremy Goodwin: I'm a racist. Isaac: Really? Jeremy Goodwin: Yeah! I'm a terrible racist. But I've been in the closet all these years and I've decided I need to live an honest life. And I think all those people with the different skin colors and the funny accents should go back where they came from and leave America to the white people who killed the Indians in the first place, which they deserved. Isaac: Jeremy... Jeremy Goodwin: The whole country's being taken over by the blacks and the Jews. Isaac: You're Jewish! Jeremy Goodwin: Well, I've gotta be stopped, Isaac!
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian Jeremy Goodwin: If not now, when? If not me, then who? Casey McCall: Later, and somebody else?
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian Dan Rydell: You know I was this close to being drafted as a wide receiver. Casey McCall: Really? What happened? Dan Rydell: I... never actually played organized ball. And even if I had, I wasn't fast enough to be a wide receiver. Casey McCall: But other than that... Dan Rydell: This close, my friend.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian Casey McCall: Dan, I'm told at the scouting combine last summer that Papajon ran the 40-Yard Dash in 4.4 seconds. That's pretty fast for someone his size. Dan Rydell: That's fast for someone anyone's size, although I suppose any play designed for an offensive lineman to run 40 yards is probably ill-conceived
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - Draft Day: Part I - It Can't Rain at Indian Wells Jeremy Goodwin: It cannot, it MUST not rain at Indian Wells.
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - Draft Day: Part I - It Can't Rain at Indian Wells Natalie Hurley: I broke up with you there, Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss with a myriad of other problems which I won't even go into but thinks that he broke up with me because of the short-term memory loss which is so obvious". Jeremy Goodwin: No need to be formal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jeremy.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Local Weather Jenny: You can't stand in the rain without an umbrella? Jeremy Goodwin: Yes, Jenny, I learned when I was young that if I do that I'll get wet. Jenny: And I learned when I was young if I get wet I'll dry off. I learned not to be troubled by water falling from the sky. I learned that when I was young that things that frightened me might not be so frightening after all. That possibly the only reason I was frightened was because I was young. Jeremy Goodwin: It was nice knowng you, Jenny.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Celebrities Jenny: Do you think your career progress is being thwarted by your inability to make a parallelogram?
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Celebrities Isaac: I have a comprehensive command of American musicals. Dan Rydell: That's great, listen... Isaac: Name a song. Dan Rydell: I don't really... Isaac: Name a damn song. Dan Rydell: How are Things in Glocca Morra? Isaac: Damn, that's gonna bug the hell out of me.

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