SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes

SpongeBob SquarePants

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes

	Unknown Episode: Ricky Gervais: All I'm saying is, why is he wearing pants? He has no genitals.
	Unknown Episode: Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Where are your shoes? You're not going section eight on me, are you? SpongeBob SquarePants: It's so hot, my shoes... my shoes melted off.
	Unknown Episode: SpongeBob SquarePants: Hail, O Swami of the Gnarly Pounders. We seek audience with thee. Patrick Star: Plus we wanna talk to you.
	Unknown Episode: Jack Kahuna Laguna: [Repeated line] Just keep breathin'.
	Unknown Episode: Jack Kahuna Laguna: There's one thing I forgot to tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you will not return. Squidward Tentacles: I volunteer SpongeBob!
	Unknown Episode: Narrator: To some, surfing comes as naturally as eating ice-cream on a hot day. To others, it's like eating ice-cream on a cold day.
	Unknown Episode: SpongeBob SquarePants: Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Patrick Star: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheesecake.
	Unknown Episode: Patrick Star: [after the Big One eats his board] Hey, I was gonna eat that!
	Unknown Episode: Squidward Tentacles: [Jack Kahuna Laguna gets swallowed by the Big One] I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein diet.
	Season 6 / Episode 4: - Suction Cup Sympony Squidward: SpongeBob, will you cut that out? Can't you see I am trying to hone my musical talent? SpongeBob SquarePants: You mean that wasn't gastrointestinal distress?
	Season 6 / Episode 4: - Suction Cup Sympony Squidward: Patrick, what are you doing here? Patrick: Uhh, I dunno. I'm funny?
	Season 6 / Episode 4: - Suction Cup Sympony SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, I think you should see a doctor. Patrick: I can't see a doctor. My job doesn't cover health insurance. SpongeBob SquarePants: What job would that be? Patrick: Exactly.
	Unknown Episode: Warden: Welcome to Inferno Island Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star: Yay! Warden: What in the seven seas just assaulted my eardrums? Could that have been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must have been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that I have a very active imagination! Because it just so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away! Spongebob Squarepants: [whispering to Patrick] I always prefer to re-cycle. Warden: Holy fish paste! We've got ourselves a couple of rabble-rousers here! What's your name, son? Spongebob Squarepants: Spongebob Squarepants. Warden: And are you a rabble-rouser? Warden: Funny you should mention that. See, this one time... Warden: Well, I hope you aren't! Cause you sure look mighty tasty! And it's too soon after breakfast for me to want to chew somebody's head off!
	Unknown Episode: Squidward Tentacles: [after the bus crashes in Atlantis] You nymwits haven't been here for 2 minutes, and you've already ruined someone's topiary garden!
	Unknown Episode: Lord Royal Highness: [to SpongeBob and Patrick] I have to make ready for tonight's dinner, so I'm just going to leave you two friendly strangers alone with our people's oldest and most valued ancient relic.
	Unknown Episode: Lord Royal Highness: My, those pockets of yours certainly have a nose for treasure! Mr. Krabs: These are me houndstooth pants.
	Unknown Episode: Squidward Tentacles: You boobs found the second half of the Atlantean amulet? SpongeBob SquarePants: What's an Atlantean omelette? Squidward Tentacles: Amulet, not omelette!
	Unknown Episode: Patrick Starfish: We destroyed your oldest and most prized possession! [There is a pause during which Lord Royal Highness looks utterly horrified] Lord Royal Highness: [laughing] If there's one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it's a healthy dose of dark humour!
	Unknown Episode: Lord Royal Highness: Gentlemen, what is art? SpongeBob SquarePants: [jumping excitedly, a hand in the air] Oh! Me, me! I know, I know! Squidward Tentacles: [shoving SpongeBob out of the way] I thought you'd never ask! Art is a conscious arrangement of elements that affects the sense of beauty! Lord Royal Highness: Not even close. Art is what happens when you learn... to dream.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - To Love a Patty / Breath of Fresh Squidward SpongeBob SquarePants: The Jim? He who flipped patties in the before-time?
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - To Love a Patty / Breath of Fresh Squidward Jim: Well, Krabs, it looks like you got yourself another sucker. The kid is good, but he'll only be great when he finally gets the guts to leave this dump. Good luck, SpongeBob. You're gonna need it. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Krusty Krabs isn't a dump. Mr. Krabs: Oh, she's a dump all right, but she's my dump.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - To Love a Patty / Breath of Fresh Squidward [flashback: Squidward has long, flowing hair] Jim: We should open our own place and stop lining old man Krabs's pockets. Squidward Tentacles: No thanks. I'm just doing this until my clarinet career takes off. Jim: What if it never does? Don't you want something to fall back on? Squidward Tentacles: Yeah, and maybe my long, luxurious hair will fall off, but I ain't buying a wig yet. [Squidward's hair falls off] Jim: Well, while you go wig shopping, I'll go have a talk with old man Krabs.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - To Love a Patty / Breath of Fresh Squidward Mr. Krabs: I appreciate you, Squidward. Squidward Tentacles: [sarcastically] Now I feel complete.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - To Love a Patty / Breath of Fresh Squidward SpongeBob SquarePants: [kneeling on floor] Please teach me! I want to learn at the feet of the master! Jim: Now THAT'S the way to grovel. I'll do it!
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Spy Buddies / Boat Smarts / Good Ol' Whatshisname SpongeBob SquarePants: Why is your underwear in the cash register? Squidward Tentacles: Well, I was running out of room. My underwear drawer is full of Krabby Patties, the freezer is full with my snowflake collection, so I put all the change in the pickle jar.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Spy Buddies / Boat Smarts / Good Ol' Whatshisname Mr. Krabs: You can't hang your delicates in front of the customers. SpongeBob SquarePants: The customers don't seem to mind. [a customer wipes his mouth with one of SpongeBob's undies] Mr. Krabs: Ugh, I have disgusting clientele.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Spy Buddies / Boat Smarts / Good Ol' Whatshisname Mr. Krabs: Who put decorative soap on all the restrooms? Squidward Tentacles: The same person who made crochet napkin holder cozies and embroidered the menu.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Spy Buddies / Boat Smarts / Good Ol' Whatshisname Mr. Krabs: There are two ways of getting on my bad side: playing in my yard, and touching me thermostat. Squidward Tentacles: That is completely unfair! SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah. Your yard is really fun. There are kids playing in it right now. Mr. Krabs: What? Hey, you kids! Get off my yard!
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Spy Buddies / Boat Smarts / Good Ol' Whatshisname Plankton: I don't get it! I freeze the Krusty Krab and he makes more money! Karen: That's because, unlike you, Mr. Krabs is a good businessman. Plankton: Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings. Karen: I don't see why you just don't go in there and steal a Krabby Patty in all the confusion? Plankton: I'll be right back. Karen: I don't know why I encourage him.
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Friend or Foe Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Ah, nothing like a happy ending. [whipping sounds in background]

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