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SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
![]() | Season 6 / Episode 11: - Sun Bleached Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Where are your shoes? You're not going section eight on me, are you? SpongeBob SquarePants: It's so hot, my shoes... my shoes melted off. |
![]() | Season 6 / Episode 11: - Sun Bleached SpongeBob SquarePants: Hail, O Swami of the Gnarly Pounders. We seek audience with thee. Patrick Star: Plus we wanna talk to you. |
![]() | Season 6 / Episode 11: - Sun Bleached SpongeBob SquarePants: Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Patrick Star: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheesecake. |
![]() | Season 6 / Episode 3: - Gone Squidward: SpongeBob, will you cut that out? Can't you see I am trying to hone my musical talent? SpongeBob SquarePants: You mean that wasn't gastrointestinal distress? |
![]() | Season 6 / Episode 3: - Gone SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, I think you should see a doctor. Patrick: I can't see a doctor. My job doesn't cover health insurance. SpongeBob SquarePants: What job would that be? Patrick: Exactly. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 15: - Atlantis SquarePantis Warden: Welcome to Inferno Island Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star: Yay! Warden: What in the seven seas just assaulted my eardrums? Could that have been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must have been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that I have a very active imagination! Because it just so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away! Spongebob Squarepants: [whispering to Patrick] I always prefer to re-cycle. Warden: Holy fish paste! We've got ourselves a couple of rabble-rousers here! What's your name, son? Spongebob Squarepants: Spongebob Squarepants. Warden: And are you a rabble-rouser? Warden: Funny you should mention that. See, this one time... Warden: Well, I hope you aren't! Cause you sure look mighty tasty! And it's too soon after breakfast for me to want to chew somebody's head off! |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 12: - Picture Day / Pat No Pay / Blackjack Squidward Tentacles: You boobs found the second half of the Atlantean amulet? SpongeBob SquarePants: What's an Atlantean omelette? Squidward Tentacles: *Amulet*, not omelette! |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 12: - Picture Day / Pat No Pay / Blackjack Lord Royal Highness: Gentlemen, what *is* art? SpongeBob SquarePants: [jumping excitedly, a hand in the air] Oh! Me, me! I know, I know! Squidward Tentacles: [shoving SpongeBob out of the way] I thought you'd never ask! Art is a conscious arrangement of elements that affects the sense of beauty! Lord Royal Highness: Not even close. Art is what happens when you learn... to *dream*. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Krusty Sponge / Squid Wood Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob! Why is your underwear in the cash register? SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, I had to put it somewhere, and my underwear drawer is full of Krabby Patties, and the freezer is full with my snowflake collection, so I put all the change in the register in the pickle jar. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Krusty Sponge / Squid Wood Mr. Krabs: You can't hang your delicates in front of my customers' faces. SpongeBob SquarePants: The customers don't seem to mind. Mr. Krabs: Ugh, I have disgusting clientele. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Krusty Sponge / Squid Wood Mr. Krabs: There are two ways of getting on my bad side, boys: I don't like kids playing in my yard, and nobody but me touches me thermostat. Squidward Tentacles: That is so selfish! SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah. Your yard is really fun. There are kids playing on it right now. Mr. Krabs: What? Hey, you kids! Get off my yard! |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Krusty Sponge / Squid Wood Squidward Tentacles: I'm gonna die of hypothermia. SpongeBob SquarePants: Hippo-whatia? What's that mean? Mr. Krabs: Means he's a big, fat, cry baby. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 2: - Born To Be Wild / Best Frenemies SpongeBob SquarePants: *The* Jim? He who flipped patties in the before-time? |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 2: - Born To Be Wild / Best Frenemies Jim: Well, Krabs, it looks like you got yourself another sucker. The kid is good, but he'll only be great when he finally gets the guts to leave this dump. Good luck, SpongeBob. You're gonna need it. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Krusty Krabs isn't a dump. Mr. Krabs: Oh, she's a dump all right, but she's my dump. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 2: - Born To Be Wild / Best Frenemies SpongeBob SquarePants: [kneeling on floor] Please teach me! I want to learn at the feet of the master! Jim: Now THAT'S the way to grovel. I'll do it! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 16: - New Leaf Squidward: I'm not going to let you two monsters ruin my evening. SpongeBob SquarePants: We're not here to ruin it. We're here to *enhance* it. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 16: - New Leaf Squidward: Brine soda, low-sodium coral crisps, cool jazz... Mmm-mmm-mmm, Squidward, you have done it. You have officially spoiled yourself rotten. SpongeBob SquarePants: Then let the rotting continue, friend, as I astound and amaze you with some... magic! Squidward: Magic? Can you make yourself disappear? SpongeBob SquarePants: Silly Squidward. I can't do disappearing spells until I become a level 10 wizard. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 14: - Karate Island / Whale of a Birthday Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: You wouldn't know cool if I locked you in the freezer! SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, for your information, Squidward has locked me in the freezer, so I think I know what cool is. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 12: - Krusty Towers / Mrs. Puff You're Fired SpongeBob SquarePants: Umm, Squidward you're stepping on my foot. Squidward: Oh, sorry SpongeBob Patrick: And you got you're elbow in my ribs! Squidward: Eeew... Patrick: And stop stepping in my potato salad! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 11: - Dunces and Dragons (Lost in Time) Sandy Cheeks: That SpongeBob, who does he think he is? I taught that yellow egomaniac everything he knows, and that ain't much. SpongeBob SquarePants: [In distance] No! Sandy Cheeks: SpongeBob? SpongeBob SquarePants: Aah! Sandy Cheeks: SpongeBob is the King of Karate. He can handle it by himself. SpongeBob SquarePants: Sandy, help me! I can't handle this by myself! Sandy Cheeks: Hold on, SpongeBob! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 11: - Dunces and Dragons (Lost in Time) Cashier: [SpongeBob is using Mr. Krabs' credit card] How do you spell Krabs? SpongeBob SquarePants: Um, I'm pretty sure it has a "B" in it. Cashier: Close enough. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 10: - Have You Seen This Snail? (Where's Gary?) Patrick: I invented something! It's a stick that you can draw or write stuff with. SpongeBob SquarePants: That's a pencil, Patrick. It's already been invented. Patrick: Ooh! this time I really have something. A glass ball that lights up so you can see in the dark. SpongeBob SquarePants: That's a light bulb, Patrick. It's already been invented. Patrick: This is a good one! I've invented a parallel dimension. SpongeBob SquarePants: That's a mirror, Patrick. It's already been invented. Patrick: Someone keeps stealing my ideas! SpongeBob SquarePants: [In mirror, speaking with German accent] Well, I thought it was a good idea. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 10: - Have You Seen This Snail? (Where's Gary?) SpongeBob SquarePants: My name is SpongeBob. Patrick: And I am Professor Patrick. SpongeBob SquarePants: Professor? Patrick: *Doctor* Professor Patrick. Don't mind him. You know how interns are. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 10: - Have You Seen This Snail? (Where's Gary?) SpongeBob SquarePants: This helmet looks impressive. What's it do? Sandy Cheeks: That's my peanut radio helmet. It lets you talk to peanuts. But what good is that? SpongeBob SquarePants: [Takes a peanut out of his pocket] SpongeBob to peanut. Come in, peanut. Patrick: What's it saying? SpongeBob SquarePants: It says, "It's dark in here." |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 8: - Patrick SmartPants (Abracamoron) SpongeBob SquarePants: Come on, Patrick. Let's do something fun. Patrick: Would you like to run some statistics, or observe phenomena and formulate hypotheses about said phenomena? |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 8: - Patrick SmartPants (Abracamoron) SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you feeling better now, Patrick? What are you doing? Patrick: Oh, just observing this interesting sub-species. Plankton: [Under microscope] I'll show you a sub-species! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 8: - Patrick SmartPants (Abracamoron) Squidward: Spongebob, you buffoon! SpongeBob SquarePants: Ha. Everyone knows I'm a sponge. I look nothing like a balloon. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 6: - Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI - The Motion Picture SpongeBob SquarePants: I know we're a prophecy and all, but I don't think we can defeat a dragon with our bare hands. Patrick Star: Yeah. We need some gloves. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 6: - Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI - The Motion Picture Sandy Cheeks: [as the Dark Knight] You have bested me, yellow knight. Strike quick and true, noble sponge. SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't understand a word you just said. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 6: - Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI - The Motion Picture SpongeBob SquarePants: [about to be arrested] Wait, you don't understand! We're not from here! Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [as King Krabs] That's because you're witches who were sent by Planktanamor to destroy me. SpongeBob SquarePants: No, we're time travelers. SpongeBob SquarePants: [gulps] Help me out here, Patrick. Patrick Star: I'm not sure there's anything I can add at this point. |
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