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Spaceballs: The Animated Series
 | Season 1 / Episode 13: - Spidermawg Spidermawg: I am Spidermawg. Half man, half dog... half spider! Lone Starr: Alright, Spidermawg. We got work and half to do here. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Spidermawg Spidermawg: We're going to planet Mawg and I'm gonna kick those Spaceballs in their balls space. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Spidermawg President Skroob: Holy shit, I'm becomming Mothball! I will destroy Spidermawg for there is no way he can stop the all powerful Mothball! Commanderette Zircon: Okay, a moth versus a spider. This is gonna turn out real well. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Spidermawg Mothball: Not so fast, Spidermawg. Spidermawg: Who the hell are you? Mothball: I am Mothball. Half moth, half ball. Spidermawg: Yeah, I gathered that from your name. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Spidermawg President Skroob: Then it's settled. Let there be six bosoms to cover my face while I prepare for my next attack. Charlene: [giggles] Boobs away! |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Druidian Idol Vinnie: I highly recommend you pay me protection money, Lone Starr. Lone Starr: Protection? Protection from who? Vinnie: Protection from me. Lone Starr: [chuckles] I don't need protection from you. Vinnie: Oh, yes you do. When I get angry, I break heads. And when people don't cooperate with my extortion... Lone Starr: You get angry? Vinnie: No. When people don't cooperate with my extortion I get depressed. Lone Starr: I see... and, and when you get depressed, you get angry? Vinnie: No. When I get depressed, I get hungry. Lone Starr: And when you get hungry you get angry? Vinnie: Shut it, Dr. Phil, whould ya? When I get hungry, I start eating and when I start eating I get fat. And when I get fat... Lone Starr: Then you get angry? Vinnie: No, then my doctor gets angry. Because he's already told me a thousand times my cholesterol is too high. And when my doctor gets angry, that's when I get angry. I don't like disappointing him. So just pay me a million starbucks. |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Druidian Idol Princess Vespa: [on phone] Hi, this is Princess Vespa, I'd like to place an order for item 94563? Yes, the matching space jets. Eh, but forget the his, give me to hers instead. |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Druidian Idol Dot Matrix: [judging Druidian Idol] You know, you've got a very unique voice. You should be in silent films. Lone Starr: Eh, I think my ears bleeding. President Skroob: What misguided being told you had any singing ability whatsoever? Contestant: My zebra, sir. President Skroob: You're zebra's an asshole. |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Druidian Idol Lone Starr: Scroob! President Skroob: Yes, when only first rate villainy will do. |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Druidian Idol Lone Starr: [on cellphone] Yogurt, I need your help. Yogurt: Right now? I'm in the middle of something. Bingo leader: N-42... Lone Starr: But where in the middle of the end of planet Druidia. Yogurt: Well, the middle of the end, that's better than the end of the end. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Deep Ship Princess Vespa: What is it about long, hard, tubular things that I find so fascinating? Dot Matrix: Talk about your Freudian ship. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Deep Ship Major Bleephole: We have been sucked into the galaxy of bad gas. [everyone screams as the boat rocks to and fro] President Skroob: [addressing the camera] Lucky for you this isn't smell-o-vision |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Deep Ship Dark Helmet: Your ass is our hero. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Deep Ship Dark Helmet: How long can a Mawg hold it's breath? Lone Starr: As long as the suspence builds. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Deep Ship Princess Vespa: What a great job. Lone Starr: Oh, I'd love to hear you say that in another context. Princess Vespa: Don't stop! Lone Starr: That too. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Skroobinator President Skroob: It's good to be the President. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Skroobinator Yogurt: Oi, this Pizza stinks. Yente, where did you order it from? Yente: From Pizza the Hutt. Yogurt: Oh, tastes like cardboard. Yente: That's because you're eating the cardboard. The Pizza's on top. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Skroobinator Yogurt: I was right, I was right. There's something wrong. How do you know? Yente: How do you know? Yogurt: Are you deaf? Don't you hear that ominous music? Yente: Ach, we hear that same verkackte music every week. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Skroobinator Lone Starr: Now what the hell are we watching? Yogurt: We're watching the scene in Spaceballs the Animated TV Series where we're looking at ourselves playing Spaceballs the Video Game. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Skroobinator Dark Helmet: I can see your Schwarz is as firm as ever. But it's no match for mine. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Fishfinger Lone Starr: [Lone Starr's wristwatch is beeping] Uh oh, it's Vespa. She needs me right away. Yogurt: Oh, she needs him right away, sure. Sure, let's, let's put saving the galaxy's food supply on hold because you've got a needy girlfriend. Lone Starr: She's not needy. [his watch beeps again] Oh, I'm sorry, I really gotta go. Barf: Yeah yeah, I really gotta go too, but you know, behind a bush. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Fishfinger Lone Starr: This smell is worse than Barfs puke after he ate a bad bowl of bodualistic boulia base in a boat in a bay by the beach which he bought from a bad boy named Bobby. Dot Matrix: Is he the big brother of Sally who sells seashells by the sea shore? |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Fishfinger Agent Double O Sven: You expect me to talk? Fishfinger: No, I expect you to fry. Agent Double O Sven: Eh, don't you mean die? Fishfinger: And that, too. Badjob: But first we need to butter you up. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Fishfinger Fishfinger: Heh. Heh. Soon you'll be filler in my fish fingers. You're cheaper than cardboard. Agent Double O Sven: But why use me as filler when you can use me as bait? Fishfinger: What do you mean, chum? Agent Double O Sven: Well, I could lure all of Yogurt's agents here. You know, Double O Gunther and eh... Double O everyone else. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Fishfinger Commanderette Zircon: My name on this operation is Pussy Forsure. Lone Starr: [stiffles a laugh] I must be dreaming. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Spaceballs of the Caribbean Dark Helmet: Not so fast, Lone Starr and... and gypsy girl? Barf: Not gypsy, pirate! Dark Helmet: Oh? What's your name, Pirate girl? Barf: Black Barf. Dark Helmet: Sound like what happened after I ate too much lickorice. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Spaceballs of the Caribbean Dark Helmet: Why are you dressed like that? President Skroob: Well, it's a matter of budget. It seems we can only afford one costume per episode |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Spaceballs of the Caribbean Princess Vespa: Listen, Lone Starr, when I loaned you the money to pay me back the money that you owed me, I expected to be paid. Lone Starr: You'll get your money, and your money. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Spaceballs of the Caribbean Princess Vespa: This is terrible! Lone Starr: I know, without my Schwarz... Princess Vespa: No, I mean Barf's hogging all my eyeliner. Barf: Frankly it looks better on me, sweetie. Princess Vespa: [sighs] Bitch. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Spaceballs of the Caribbean President Skroob: The immaterial has become... immaterial. Marlene: What does that mean, Scroobie? President Skroob: Well, it simply means that the non-material stuff has coalesced into the star vapor of... Marlene: I believe it means the supernatural has become irrelivant, thus playing on two meanings of the word immaterial. President Skroob: You know some men get turned on by brainy talk. I don't. So shut up. |
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