Zorak

Space Ghost Coast to Coast

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Played by:

C. Martin Croker

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Zorak Quotes

	Season 8 / Episode 1: - Baffler Meal Space Ghost: [Appears and looks around] Zorak: Uga Buga! Space Ghost: [Looks at Zorak] Zorak, take off the mask Zorak: What mask? Space Ghost: You KNOW what mask I'm talking about. Zorak: ...No I don't. Space Ghost: Yes you do, you're wearing it RIGHT now! Zorak: ...No I'm not. Space Ghost: Come back here you Godforsaken mantis! Zorak: [Off screen] MWU HAHAHAHA! Space Ghost: [off screen] YOU DO HAVE A MASK!
	Season 7 / Episode 3: - Knifin' Around Björk: I have to go to the toilet. Space Ghost: You remember the difference between the toilet and the sofa, right? Björk: I think so. Space Ghost: And remember how I angry I got. Björk: It smells like bad eggs. Space Ghost: Because that's what happens when you boil the couchs you've been urinating on. Björk: Yeah. Space Ghost: Oh, and as long as I've got you here; tell that French DJ, Tricky, to move out! Björk: What's his name again? Space Ghost: I dunno... he's your damn friend. Björk: And I would love to introduce you to him. Space Ghost: I've met him. He's living on our couch... with the urine. And tell him to stop letting in strangers to listen to his new 'beats'. Björk: It makes all the children happy. Space Ghost: Honey, those aren't children... they're packets of cream cheese. Björk: Sometimes I can't seperate between the two, do you know that? Space Ghost: Uh, yeah. I wish I had known that when we just dating. Björk: You have a mask, has anybody told you - ? Space Ghost: Uh, honey? I buried a treasure for you out in the yard. Björk: Yeah? Space Ghost: Yeah... why don't you go dig it up? Björk: [exits] Zorak: What'd you bury? Space Ghost: Her mother. Zorak: Cool. Space Ghost: No, Zorak... it's just a bagel she started calling 'mother'.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Batmantis Zorak: I am becoming... Announcer: Meanwhile, at the bandstand, a hideous mutation rears its ugly head. So hideous, that it must be... Announcer: ...censored. Zorak: [explosion, Zorak is now in a Batman suit] I shiver with power. I ache with disease. I am Batmantis! Space Ghost aka Tad Ghostal: Ahhh! Zorak: Wait! Space Ghost aka Tad Ghostal: Oh, it's you! Good costume. Look! Shoot a ray, and you get a word. Zorak: Shoot an adjective. Zorak: Shoot a proper noun! Zorak: Shoot the theory of evolution!
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: What? This is my natural head of hair
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: Hey! You took my soul!
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: You dance like a woman. Space Ghost: I dance like a woman... if she were a man! Zorak: Well... ya got me there.
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: My favorite episode of The Golden Girls is the one where they all took contaminated Geritol and died. Space Ghost: That was never an episode! Zorak: Well, it should have been.
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: You're shooting blanks, Grandpa! Leonard Ghostal: Shut your pie hole, Blip! Why, twenty years ago I woulda put your head in a half nelson, twisted it around, saying each letter of the alphabet on every turn, and then when I reached the first letter of my true love's name (that would be the lovely Elizabeth), I would yank your head clean off and roll it down the pike like a bowling ball! Zorak: [wide-eyed] Okay.
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: Vengence is the refuge of the weak.
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: Zorak, where's your nephew? Zorak: Who? Oh, um, I devoured him. Space Ghost: That's barbaric! Space Ghost: Is there any left?
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: I could plead the Fifth. Zorak: If you could count that high.
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: I got a friend coming by in about five minutes, so, uh... I gotta escape. Space Ghost: What are you all gonna do? Zorak: I think we're gonna smash light bulbs out by the dumpster.
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: Moltar, take off your helmet... show me your true face. Moltar: Why? Zorak: Because, I'm intrigued. Moltar: No. Zorak: C'mon... I'll be your friend. Moltar: NO! Zorak: C'mon... I'll give you a dollar. Moltar: Okay... Zorak: GOOD GOD!
	Unknown Episode: Steven Wright: Who else is going to be on the show? Zorak: Your guts. Steven Wright: Oh.
	Unknown Episode: Jerry Springer: Whoa! Space Ghost: Whoa is what America's going to be saying when I spin his head off so fast it'll TRAVEL BACK IN TIME! Zorak: Blah blah blah blah. Space Ghost: Oh, you WANT the time-travel spinning head!
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: I am the Lone Locust of the apocalypse. Think of me when you look to the night sky.
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: No one sleeps with my grandmother! [pause] Right? Zorak: Right! [in the background] From now on.
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: Tell me, Chuck, ever thought of starring in a sequel to The Ten Commandments? Zorak: No. Charlton Heston: Uh, I don't think so. Space Ghost: Not a sequel man, eh? Zorak: No. Charlton Heston: What other commandments are we going to write? Zorak: Thou that smelled it thine own self dealt it. Space Ghost: [laughs] Thou that smelled it thine own self dealt it. Zorak: [fake laugh] Jerk. Charlton Heston: Yeah, well... Moltar: Thou shalt not... hesitate. Charlton Heston: I'm kind of committed to the first ten. Zorak: Thou shalt not be committed to old commandments! Space Ghost: Zorak, one more commandment out of you, and thou shalt be blasted! Moltar: Thou shalt not mess with Zorak, or thou shalt have to mess with me! Space Ghost: All right, everybody, just calm down! Moltar: Thou shalt not calm down! Charlton Heston: I hesitate... Moltar: Thou shalt not hesitate!
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: Let's break down these boxes so they store easier! Zorak: ...That's boring! Space Ghost: You don't know from fun!
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: Wow, Denis Leary! I've seen all your movies. Denis Leary: Thank you, thank you. Zorak: I didn't think they were very good. Zorak: What'd you think?
	Unknown Episode: Zorak: Wow, Denis Leary! I've seen all your movies! Denis Leary: Thank you. Thank you. Zorak: ...I didn't think they were very good...
	Unknown Episode: Moltar: Show me the heinie! Zorak: Put your pants on.
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: Will you please keep your mind on the music? Zorak: I can't. It's mating season. Space Ghost: So, what's the big deal? Unless... Zorak, is it your first time? Zorak: Don't be ridiculous. I've mated, uh, lots of times. Moltar: Wait a minute. That can't be true! Zorak: And why not? Moltar: Because your head's still attached to your body.
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: You ever work with Lassie? Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: If by "working," you mean "bang up the ass," then yes... I have "worked" with her. Space Ghost: Ho ho! Heh... Ah-huh. Whe-heh. [Turns to Zorak] You hear what that guy said? Zorak: [Turns to Space Ghost] ... No. [Turns back] Space Ghost: [Small giggle] He said he "banged a dog up the you-know-what." Zorak: [Turns to Space Ghost] ... No... [Looks at camera, then turns back] Space Ghost: Can you say "bang a dog up the ass" on T.V.? Zorak: [Turns to Space Ghost] ... ... ... No. [Turns back] Space Ghost: Anything happen? Zorak: Um... I think some money came in. Space Ghost: Really? Hang on... [Clears throat] Ooookay... I, too, banged a dog up the a... Space Ghost: [Please stand by] [Cheesy music playing] [Space Ghost is in Moltar's director's lair] Oh, come on, Moltar! It's not like it was alive or anything. Moltar: They can take you off the air for that kind of shit... Duh... Brrrph... I mean... stuff. Space Ghost: When did you become such a "Puritan?" [Space Ghost teleports back to his desk] Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Can we talk about some of the songs for a second? Space Ghost: Sure, we can talk about anything... Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Yes... Space Ghost: ...So long as "Sister Mary Moltar" isn't in the room! Moltar: You're really diggin' yourself a deep hole! Space Ghost: [On Moltar's monitor] A hole that I will bang my way ou... Space Ghost: [Please stand by] [Space Ghost is back with Moltar] Calm down with this "religion!" [Triumph starts making out with a sheep sock-puppet on the monitor] Moltar: You know, all this salty language... See, it ain't helpin' the found... Space Ghost: [Interrupting] All I know, Moltar, is that I'm trying to create a "Retardo"-free society. Moltar: Well, you'll probably have the thanks of... all the retarded people watching. Space Ghost: They're not retarded, Moltar... "Retardo" is the name of the disease, ok? I named it. ...And tonight with this cute little dog's help... [Triumph is on the monitor humping the sheep sock-puppet] ...We're going to find a cure.
	Unknown Episode: Space Ghost: I'm gonna go to the desk, now... Zorak: You go ahead and try. You see what you get. Space Ghost: Here I am now... At the desk. Moltar: [shouts] You got lucky, Pal! Zorak: You try it next time! You see what you get!

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