5x07 Proper Condom Use - South Park Episode Guide

South Park

- Episode 05x07

Episode: 05x07
Title: Proper Condom Use
Type: Regular Episode
Production Code: 507
First Aired: Aug. 01, 2001

Season 5 » Episode #07 - Proper Condom Use

Summary: Fifth graders teach Cartman how to "milk" a dog, and when Stan tries it in front of his parents, they assume it means kids aren't learning proper sex education in school. Mr. Mackey teaches the boys, while Ms. Choksondik teaches the girls, but because the two instructors are so clueless, the kids become terrified of sex. Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik find themselves attracted to each other.

Who appeared in this episode?

Miss Diane Choksondik	voiced by Trey Parker
Additional Voices	voiced by Trey Parker
Tweek	voiced by Matt Stone
Additional Voices	voiced by Matt Stone
Bebe Stevens	voiced by Jennifer Howell
Filmore Anderson	played by Nico Agnone

Episode Quotes

Season 5 / Episode 7: - Proper Condom Use

Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: [removing a condom from its wrapper] Why, it's just a little donut! [fumbles with it] Oh, it's all gooey!
Eric Cartman: Just put it on, Butters!
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: H-How come I gotta go first?
Eric Cartman: Butters, will you stop... filibustering!
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: Oh, a-all right, then. [turns around, drops pants, and starts fumbling with the condom] Aw, it's sticky.
Kyle Broflovski: [reading from the condom box] It says you gotta check it for holes or tears.
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: I don't even understand how this thing...! Oh, wait, oh, I see.

Stan Marsh: Don't look at Butters' shlong, gaymo!
Eric Cartman: I wasn't looking at his shlong, I was seeing how to put the condom on!
Kyle Broflovski: [sarcastically] Sure!
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: But it won't stay on. I-I need a rubber band or something.
Tweek: I-I've got rubber bands! [hands them to Butters]
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: [fumbles with the rubber bands] Ow! Eh, ow! Okay, eh... ow! There! Okay, I think it's on!
Stan Marsh: How do you feel?
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: [pause] Pretty good!
Eric Cartman: Do you feel protected?
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: Yeah, I don't think nothing is getting to my wiener through this thing. It's even got a little reservoir at the end so you can pee in it.
Stan Marsh: All right, here everybody, Tweek, give everyone a rubber band. Hey, somebody's gotta help Timmy put his condom on.
Timmy: *Timmah*!

Season 5 / Episode 7: - Proper Condom Use

Mr. Herbert Garrison: Okay children, who can tell me what a condom is?

Mr. Herbert Garrison: Yes, Jenny?
Jenny: It fwies awound and it's endangewed.
Mr. Herbert Garrison: That's a *condor*, Jenny! Condor. *Condoms* are what we use to stop the spread of STDs.

Mr. Herbert Garrison: Yes, Fillmore?
Filmore Anderson: Can we do fingerpaints?
Mr. Herbert Garrison: [angrily] No, we can't do fingerpaints! You kids wanna get herpes, huh? How 'bout a nice bucket of AIDS? Sound good? Now pay attention, all right? I'm going show you the proper way to put on a condom. [puts a wooden phallus on table] First of all, you remove the condom from its package. Then you find which way the condom rolls out. Put it in your mouth [puts consom in mouth, and starts to speak muffled] and apply.

Mr. Herbert Garrison: And it's as simple as that. Any questions?

[More Quotes]

MISTAKES/GOOFS

CONT: Mr. Mackey's glasses do not have the part that goes over his nose unless he is looking sideways, then it suddenly appears.
CHAR: Cartman is "milking" the wrong gender of dog.
CHAR: Sally is the student who mentions the Filthy Sanchez, but Mr. Garrison calls her Flora.
CONT: The writing on the blackboard appears before Miss Chokesondik has even written it.