Liane Cartman

South Park

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Played by:

Eliza Schneider
Eliza Jane Schneider, actress, songstress, oral historian, dialect researcher, and playwright, has been ...

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Episode Screenshots

Season 9, Episode 06	Season 5, Episode 04
Season 7, Episode 09	Season 6, Episode 05

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Liane Cartman Quotes

02x02 - Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut (2)

Season 2 / Episode 2: - Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut (2)

Liane Cartman: [At the Unplanned Parenthood Clinic] I want to have... an abortion.
Nurse Goodly: Oh, well, we can do that. This must be a very difficult time for you, Mrs...
Liane Cartman: Cartman. Yes, it's such a hard decision but I just don't feel like I can raise a child in this screwy world.
Nurse Goodly: Yes, Ms. Cartman, if you don't feel fit to raise a child, an abortion probably is the answer. Do you know the actual time of conception?
Liane Cartman: About 8 years ago.
Nurse Goodly: [thinking] I see... So the fetus is...
Liane Cartman: 8 years old.
Nurse Goodly: Ms. Cartman, 8 years old is a little late to be considering abortion.
Liane Cartman: Really?
Nurse Goodly: Yes, this is what we would refer to as the 40th trimester.
Liane Cartman: But I just don't think I'm a fit mother.
Nurse Goodly: But we prefer to abort babies a little earlier on. In fact, there's a law against abortions after the 2nd trimester.
Liane Cartman: Well, I think you need to keep your laws off of my body!
Nurse Goodly: Hummm... I'm afraid I can't help you, Ms. Cartman. If you want to change the law, you'll have to speak with your congressman.
Liane Cartman: Well, that's exactly what I intend to do! Good day.

Season 1 / Episode 6: - Death

Liane Cartman: Eric, dear. I just got a call from your friend Kyle's mother. She said this show is naughty, and might make you a pottymouth.
Eric Cartman: That's a bunch o' crap! Kyle's mom is a dirty Jew!
Liane Cartman: Oh. Okay, hon.

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