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Fun Facts:» Trivia» Quotes » Goofs |
 | Season 2 / Episode 8: - A Tale of Two Johnsons B.J. Cummings: Two Johnsons? That's really hard to swallow! |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong Ellen: I've strapped on many things in my life, but never a gun. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Day of the Jackass B.J. Cummings: I'd like to get my hands on that one-eyed snake! |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - South of Her Border Notch Johnson: [showing Chip the Heimlich Maneuver] Ok Chip, if you're up for it, take a crack! |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - South of Her Border Mayor Anita Massengil: [after seeing Chip and Notch practicing the Heimlich Maneuver on each other] Johnson! You pervert! |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - South of Her Border Notch Johnson: I had just gotten out of the "old navy" and there was a "gap" in my life, so I filled it by fighting for a "banana republic". |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - Eat My Muffin B.J. Cummings: [a man is yelling for help in the water] Man going down! I'm coming! I'm coming! |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - Eat My Muffin B.J. Cummings: I've blown a lot of things in my life, but never a safe. |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - Eat My Muffin Notch Johnson: A man fell off a boat. I swam out to save him, but I didn't get there in time. But this story has a happy ending, because that man was a personal injury attorney. So nobody really cared. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Silence of the Clams Mayor Anita Massengil: The hottest show on TV is going to be here. Notch Johnson: Walker Texas Ranger? |
| Unknown Episode: Notch Johnson: How come I can't see your reflection in this mirror? Oh, I see..."Made in Taiwan". |
| Unknown Episode: Chip Rommel: It is easy as attacking Russia at winter. |
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