Smart Guy Quotes

Smart Guy

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Diary of a Mad Schoolgirl TJ Henderson: [about a project for school] I was thinking we could do the Lizzie Borden murder case. Janice: Who killed Lizzie Borden? TJ Henderson: Well actually she killed her parents, but 100 years ago people didn't think a woman could do something like that, so the jury let her off. Janice: Those were the days. TJ Henderson: Yeah, people even made up a little song about her. "Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks, when she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41".
	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Diary of a Mad Schoolgirl TJ Henderson: [reading Janice's diary] Then I saw Marcus flirting with Alecia...can't have that now, can we? Let's see, what would Lizzie Borden do?
	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Diary of a Mad Schoolgirl TJ Henderson: [to Marcus] Now what Mr. We can improve the dating process by reading Janice's diary? Janice: [singing] Janice Walker took an axe, gave that Marcus 40 whacks, [enters the house] when she saw what she had done, she gave his brother 41.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Code Marcus: [complaining about his portrait being painted] That may be my number, but that's not my chest! I mean, it's too small! I worked out all summer for this chest. Yvette: You shouldn't have stopped at the summer. You look like the black Gilligan.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Code Marcus: [his portrait has been altered to make him a girl] Oh man! While we were in the gym protecting the scoreboard, they were in here messing with our manliness! Yvette: Well, look on the bright side, Gilligan. At least your chest is bigger!
	Unknown Episode: Marcus: The word "can't" isn't even in my vocabulary. Yvette: Along with most of the other words in the English language.
	Unknown Episode: TJ Henderson: I'll try to be more sensitive to the fact that you're dumber than me. Marcus: That's all I ask!
	Unknown Episode: Mackey: I gotta get this hat to make me look cool. [turns his hat to the right] This is the way they're wearing it right? 'Bout it, 'Bout it.
	Unknown Episode: Yvette: I answered the phone. I'm sick I need help.
	Unknown Episode: Mackey: Hey, I know it's cold now, but maybe in summer we could go swimming. Yvette: Why are you talking to me? Mackey: 'Cause you're almost nude in this photo.
	Unknown Episode: Floyd: You can be the smartest man in the world - and for all I know, you are - but you will NEVER understand women.
	Unknown Episode: Floyd: How much coffee did you drink, anyway? TJ Henderson: I feel like that Nazi on Indiana Jones, right before his head melted!
	Unknown Episode: Yvette: Dad! You promised you weren't gonna come down here and binge on cake anymore! Floyd: You want some some? Yvette: Yeah. Floyd: Grab a spoon.
	Unknown Episode: Pete Gilroy: [Yvette walks in on a conversation, not knowing it's about a dog] My Grandson's not only a terrific runner, he's really smart too. Yvette: Oh, well maybe he and TJ can hang out together. Is he around TJ's age? Pete Gilroy: Well, I don't know, how old are you? T.J.: Almost ten, sir. Pete Gilroy: Oh, no, he'd be long dead by then. Yvette: Oh, I'm so sorry! Pete Gilroy: When they're as abnormally large as my Grandson, their hearts tend to crap out. Yvette: [crying] I'm going to do the dishes!
	Unknown Episode: Mr. Basil Militich: T.J. You're not in elementry school anymore. You're in highschool. You've got to learn some self-control. TJ Henderson: Yeah but I have so many ideas in my head that they just come flowing out. Mr. Basil Militich: Yes I know.
	Unknown Episode: Mr. Basil Militich: They wanted to know about what kinds of friends you have. TJ Henderson: And what did you tell them? Mr. Basil Militich: I said that you kept to yourself most of the time, a bit of a loner. TJ Henderson: Oh, thanks a lot! Why didn't you just tell them I'm president of the Saddam Hussein fanclub? Mr. Basil Militich: ...Are you? TJ Henderson: No! Mr. Basil Militich: They were also interested in the books you checked out. By the way, why did you check out that book on gunpowder? TJ Henderson: It was for science, I was building a volcano! Mr. Basil Militich: I told them you must be fascinated by explosives. Boom!
	Unknown Episode: Marcus: Don't get us wrong, we care about the environment. Morris L. 'Mo' Tibbs: Give a hoot, don't pollute. Marcus: But we're not gonna drink something that tastes like vinegar, just so some chipmunks somewhere can live an extra couple of weeks.
	Unknown Episode: TJ Henderson: [temporarily stupid, to his dad] Hey, did you know that if you rearrange the letters in your name, they spell "Flody"? Floyd, Flody... Flody, Flody, Flody!
	Unknown Episode: Floyd: [about a teacher] He confiscated your computer? TJ Henderson: Yeah. He says if I want it back you have to sign this [hands Floyd a note and Floyd signs it] Marcus: [about his own slip] What about mine? Floyd: Oh yeah [he crumbles it up] Marcus: Hey! TJ Henderson: Well TJ was in pursuit of knowledge. You're in pursuit of a hat that makes you look like a bananna.
	Unknown Episode: Marcus: [TJ comes out of the bathroom after throwing up] How are you feeling? TJ Henderson: Lettuce came out my nose, how do you think I feel? Marcus: Did you eat lettuce? TJ Henderson: No.
	Unknown Episode: TJ Henderson: She's smart, pretty and funny... Floyd: Aw... TJ Henderson: "Aw" what? Floyd: You like her. TJ Henderson: Sure, I'm tutoring her. Floyd: No, I mean, you really like her. TJ Henderson: [disgusted] Me? A girl? TJ Henderson: Ew! Floyd: He's got it bad!
	Unknown Episode: Floyd: [after Yvette considers getting plastic surgery] I've been thinking about breasts all night. Yvette: [Stares at her father with a odd expression] Floyd: Um, I mean yours. Yvette: [Continues to stare] Floyd: Um, I mean big ones.

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