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Characters: #1 of 9 (Full List)
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Played by:
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 | Season 5 / Episode 11: - Static Claire Fisher: I'm *not* drunk. Kirsten: It seems like you are. Claire Fisher: I'm not. Kirsten: Claire, you fell asleep at your desk this morning, twice, and I can smell it. Claire Fisher: You can't smell vodka. Kirsten: I can. Claire Fisher: Anyway, you're being a little fucking bitch. Kirsten: Alright, Claire, we're all really sorry that your brother died. Claire Fisher: Really? Kirsten: Yeah, really, but you've been drunk or high at work, like, every day this week and it's starting to scare people. I mean, I've told them all to give you a break, but ... Claire Fisher: Well this doesn't feel like much of a fucking break... 'Kirsten', being followed into the bathroom and lectured at by some school teacher. Kirsten: Just go home for the day and sleep it off, okay? I won't tell. Claire Fisher: You won't tell? Kirsten: No. Claire Fisher: Who won't you 'tell?' Kirsten: Human Resources. Claire Fisher: If you wanna fucking tell... Kirsten: Alright, I'll tell Human Resources! Claire Fisher: Goddammit, go! Tell! Tell! Tell! Kirsten: Okay! I am wicked pissed! You are gonna be so fired! Claire Fisher: Yeah, well, I'm fucking Ted. Kirsten: ...no way. Claire Fisher: Way. Kirsten: Marianne and Johnny ... Claire Fisher: Didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Sorry. |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Ecotone Claire Fisher: She could still show up for her own son's coma. |
| Season 4 / Episode 8: - Coming And Going David Fisher: I have to get control of myself. Claire Fisher: No, David, if you were any more controlled, you'd be a sculpture. You know what? Last night I had a humiliating homosexual experience of my own. David Fisher: Seriously? What happened? Claire Fisher: Not much. I never even went down on her. David Fisher: You can stop there. |
| Season 4 / Episode 8: - Coming And Going Claire Fisher: I wish I was gay. David Fisher: Ohh, no. Claire Fisher: Well, then I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs! David Fisher: They're all unfamiliar unless they're yours. |
| Season 4 / Episode 2: - In Case of Rapture Claire Fisher: Oh, this is so fucking gross! David Fisher: What the fuck do you think you're doing? Claire Fisher: Taking pictures. This is like right out of "The Shining". David Fisher: This is not cool or legal, stop it! Claire Fisher: Well, call the Bureau, ass. David Fisher: This is our family business, Claire, even if I'm the only one in the family who gives a shit anymore. Claire Fisher: Well, what if you need photos for, like, the insurance company or something? David Fisher: All right, take some more - but this is not an art project. |
| Season 3 / Episode 13: - I'm Sorry, I'm Lost Claire Fisher: [in the afterlife, sees Gabe Dimas playing frisbee with his brother] Is he dead? Nathaniel Fisher: I don't know. This is your thing. |
| Season 3 / Episode 13: - I'm Sorry, I'm Lost Lisa Kimmel Fisher: [Claire enters an afterlife church to find her there] Claire! Are you just visiting? Claire Fisher: Of course. Lisa Kimmel Fisher: [relieved] Good. [Claire sees next to her a baby: her unborn son] I promise I'll take good care of him. |
| Season 3 / Episode 13: - I'm Sorry, I'm Lost Claire Fisher: Are you mad that Mom's going to marry George? Nathaniel Fisher: Nah. That's you. |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Timing and Space Claire Fisher: You know, Nate, this isn't "The Matrix". The rest of us that don't have babies - we're real. |
| Season 2 / Episode 12: - I'll Take You Ruth Fisher: I would like to go on record as saying I am in full support of you going to art school. Claire Fisher: Consider it recorded. But I'm just taking a tour. Let's not get our panties in a wad over it. |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - The Liar and the Whore Ruth Fisher: Claire, are you depressed? Claire Fisher: I'm not going to even answer that. Ruth Fisher: Well, whatever you're going through, I hope you're not going to blame me. |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Plan Ruth Fisher: I joined "The Plan". Claire Fisher: Isn't that like a cult or something? Nate Fisher: No, it's one of those '70s self-discovery clubs that yell at you and don't let you go to the bathroom for 12 hours, right? Ruth Fisher: [takes out yogurt cup] I think this will do. All right, I'm leaving you without dinner. I'll be back really late. [leaves] Claire Fisher: This whole concept of Mom self-actualizing is making me nauseous. Nate Fisher: You're sure it's that and not the concept of Mom pissing in a plastic jar? |
| Season 2 / Episode 2: - Out, Out, Brief Candle Claire Fisher: [Andy grabs her chest] Whoa, you're not on the list of people who get to touch my tits. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 5: - An Open Book Ruth Fisher: Claire... wake up! We're leaving, pack up! Claire Fisher: Oh, my God, Mom, I feel like Anne Frank! Ruth Fisher: If you don't hurry, we'll have to go spinning! Claire Fisher: Oh, my God! |
| Season 1 / Episode 5: - An Open Book Claire Fisher: I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Foot Keith Charles: Most guys I meet, they kinda just want me to be one thing. Claire Fisher: What? Like, big black sex cop? |
 | Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Will Claire Fisher: Great. So I get nothing. Ruth Fisher: You get an education, Claire, something not all people are privileged to. Claire Fisher: Well, what if I don't want to go to college? Claire Fisher: Nowadays college is a necessity in life not only to succeed, but to survive. Claire Fisher: Spare me the tough-love rationalization, just bottom-line it, please. Attorney: If you choose not to go to college, the money will be available to you when you're 25. Claire Fisher: It's like blackmail from beyond the grave. |
| Next: David Fisher |
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