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Rick Simon Quotes
|Season 5 / Episode 21: - D-I-V-O-R-C-E|
Bud Krelman: [walks into Rick and A.J.'s office] Hiya boys!
Andrew Jackson 'A.J.' Simon: Uncle Buddy! How nice to see you. What can we do for you?
Bud Krelman: [shakes Rick's hand] Rick, nice to see ya boy. A.J., [proceeds to shake A.J.'s hand and notices a shiner and bandage over his eye] holy mackerel! [clears his throat] I want to hire you fellas. Edie's been cheatin' on me. She just ripped off our joint bank account for five grand and I need your help. I want a divorce.
Rick Simon: [scene cuts to all three walking outside on a sidewalk and a small footbridge] Well, we'd love to help you out Bud but don't you think there's a little bit of conflict of interest here? I mean we are working for Edie.
Bud Krelman: Well, you guys are the only dicks I know. [short pause] I mean investigators. Anyway, we both got the same lawyer.
|Season 3 / Episode 8: - The Bare Facts|
Andrew Jackson 'A.J.' Simon: [Rick is peering through binoculars] What do you see?
Rick Simon: Two heavily-armed naked guys.
Andrew Jackson 'A.J.' Simon: Heidi wasn't kidding when she talked about security, was she?
Rick Simon: Oh, great. They got a dog. He's naked too.
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