Dr. Perry Cox

Scrubs

- Character Guide

Characters: #5 of 12 (Full List)

+ Add to My Characters

Played by:

John C. McGinley
John C. McGinley's path to stardom is a story that reads like a classic Hollywood script. While an understudy ...

« Back to Character Profile

Dr. Perry Cox Quotes

	Season 8 / Episode 9: - My Absence Dr. Perry Cox: ...And that, Dorian, is what I think of you as a person. [Hands Elliot back her cell phone] Dr. Elliot Reid: That sounded harsh. Are you okay? Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [On speakerphone, crying] No!
	Season 8 / Episode 6: - My Cookie Pants Dr. Perry Cox: Bob, what are you doing here? Are you sick? Dr. Bob Kelso: No, but thank you for your concern. Dr. Perry Cox: No, you misunderstood me. I was being hopeful. [Crosses fingers] Are you sick?
	Season 8 / Episode 5: - My ABCs Dr. Perry Cox: Since you're not that intelligent, I'm going to speak like a caveman from now on. You bad doctors. Me good doctor. You follow.
	Season 8 / Episode 5: - My ABCs Dr. Perry Cox: Why do I hate that intern? Nurse Carla Espinosa: Because he called you Dr. C? Dr. Perry Cox: Actually, I find that endearing. Nurse Carla Espinosa: Did he say "back in the day"? Dr. Perry Cox: No. Nurse Carla Espinosa: Did he say "back in the hizzay"? Dr. Perry Cox: No. Nurse Carla Espinosa: Does he like Hugh Jackman? Dr. Perry Cox: You suck at this.
	Season 7 / Episode 10: - My Waste Of Time Dr. Perry Cox: What in the hell are you talking about? Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh, I'm just doing this thing where I use a slice of wisdom from someone else's life to solve a problem in my own life. Jordan Sullivan: Seems coincidental. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And yet I do it almost every week.
	Season 7 / Episode 5: - My Growing Pains Josh: I'm ok. Little tired, though. How 'bout you? Dr. Perry Cox: Well, I'm 47 and recently lost the ability to breakdown dairy products. But otherwise I'm dandy. Thank you for asking. Nurse Carla Espinosa: Woah! TMI! Right, Josh? Too much information? [laughs] Dr. Perry Cox: Tell you what, I'm going to let you hang out with Nurse "Early 90s Catch Phrases" here while your parents come out in the hallway and we can have a little discussion. And we'll be back.
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - My Conventional Wisdom Dr. Elliot Reid: I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market. Dr. Perry Cox: I'm sure the pulse setting on your shower head will be devastated.
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - My Conventional Wisdom Dr. Perry Cox: July 21st? Ooh, I'm afraid I won't be able to make it? Dr. Elliot Reid: Why not? Dr. Perry Cox: Because I wouldn't go to your wedding if it was held in my own backyard.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - My Cold Shower Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'm not upset about Elliot. Dr. Christopher Turk: You both have had a history together. Nurse Carla Espinosa: You two have had more ups and downs than Ross and Rachel on Friends. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'm nothing like Ross. Dr. Perry Cox: Of course not. You're Rachel, she's Ross.
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - My Long Goodbye Dr. Elliot Reid: Somebody just had a baby... Dr. Perry Cox: How do you know? Dr. Elliot Reid: My uterus is glowing. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: My mom had a uterus... I lived in it..
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - My Fishbowl Dr. Perry Cox: [Carla tells bad joke] You would hear crickets chirping, but they were too uncomfortable at just how unfunny that actually was. Nurse Carla Espinosa: So what, I'm not funny? Dr. Perry Cox: Why I think you're very funny... WHEN you're being sarcastic or you're up on your high horse. You know, as long as you stay right in you wheel house. [Dr. Cox begins walking through the room] Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck; your husband does it when he's sarcastic. Dr. Christopher Turk: Ya know, I do what I do when I do what I do. Dr. Perry Cox: The Janitor is amusing because quite frankly he's insane The Janitor: [walks by with tiny boots that look like they are for a baby on his hands] I made shoes for my bunny. Dr. Perry Cox: [walks over the J.D] And Alice here, well she can turn a phrase. and I'm assuming because I called you Alice you're thinking of me as the maid from the Brady Bunch. [Dr. Cox appears as Alice from the Brady Bunch then looks at J.D] Aren't ya? Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: He was. Dr. Perry Cox: Now some people just have funny names, for instance, Dr. Beardface, Dr. McHead, Colonel Doctor, and of course Snoop Dogg intern. Snoop Dogg Intern: [grabs his white coat] Hey, Hey. Dr. Perry Cox: My bad, Snoop Dogg resident. The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God, which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the Hospital Sad sack. Ted Buckland: I am? Dr. Perry Cox: Yes Ted. Ted Buckland: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Dr. Perry Cox: And me I'm just funny because I commit C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T... [makes the notion of sipping tea] -TEA. And I also do silly rants. But there is just one man who is funny, no matter what he says. Dr. Bob Kelso: [Kelso enters] Are my undergarments made of wool because my WEASLES getting heat stroke? Dr. Perry Cox: The point is please don't tell anymore jokes. Ted Buckland: I'm not a sadsack am I? Nurse Carla Espinosa: Ted, your pen exploded! Ted Buckland: [looks at his shirt with a large blue stain on it] Awwwwww [looks at is blue hand on his head] AWWWWWWWWW!
	Season 6 / Episode 9: - My Perspective Dr. Elliot Reid: He took care of you when you were wallowing on your couch drinking scotch like it was vodka. Dr. Perry Cox: I accidentally killed three people. He got arrested for pushing a scooter and he passes out when he poos.
	Season 6 / Episode 6: - My Musical Patti: [singing] What's going to happen? / What does the future hold? / So many things that I've put off / Assuming I'd have time / Assuming I'd grow old. / What's going to happen? / And will I be alive tomorrow? / What's going to happen... / To me? Dr. Perry Cox: [singing] You're going to be okay. Dr. Perry Cox, Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian, Dr. Elliot Reid, Dr. Christopher Turk, The Janitor, Dr. Bob Kelso, Nurse Carla Espinosa, Doug Murphy, Ted Buckland: That's what's going to happen. / Everything's okay. / We're right here beside you / We won't let you slip away. / Plan for tomorrow / 'Cause we swear to you, / You're going to be okay. Patti: I'm going to be okay. Dr. Perry Cox, Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian, Dr. Elliot Reid, Dr. Christopher Turk, Dr. Bob Kelso, Nurse Carla Espinosa: That's what's going to happen. Patti: Everything's okay. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian, Dr. Christopher Turk, Dr. Bob Kelso: Everything's okay. Dr. Perry Cox, Dr. Elliot Reid, Dr. Bob Kelso: We would never leave you. Dr. Perry Cox, Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian, Dr. Elliot Reid, Dr. Christopher Turk, Dr. Bob Kelso, Nurse Carla Espinosa: Right here we will stay. / Plan for tomorrow, / 'Cause we swear to you / You're going to be okay. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [last sung line of the episode] We hope. Dr. Perry Cox: Shhhhhh.
	Season 6 / Episode 6: - My Musical Patti: [singing] Dr. Cox, I'm not crazy! Dr. Perry Cox: [singing] Am I still singing? Patti: [singing] Singing like a bird. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [singing] Dr. Cox, huge news! I pulled some strings and got the parking spot right behind yours! Bumper Buddies!
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - My Deja Vu My Deja Vu Dr. Perry Cox: How's about we act like adults here and lay our cards on the table. You know that you're not exactly my favorite person in this dump, and I say that knowing full well that you feel the same way about me. Dr. Elliot Reid: I started an "I Hate Cox" chatroom. Hasn't really worked out the way I planned - it's me, two interns, and 14,000 lesbians.
	Season 5 / Episode 21: - My Fallen Idol Dr. Perry Cox: [drunk] Newbie, would you give me some trouble? I'm having a little help here.
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - My Chopped Liver Leslie: When do you turn nice? This is getting kind of old. Dr. Perry Cox: Never, Leslie. Leslie: He knows my name! Dr. Perry Cox: I was just calling you by a random girl's name. Listen please, I don't care about any of your problems. I have no answers for any of you. Gloria: But my boyfriend's bi-curious, and he wants me to pick his lovers. Dr. Perry Cox: I may have answer for that: eww!
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - My Extra Mile Patient: Yeah, I'm auditioning for my church's senior citizen production of Street Car Named Desire. Would you mind running lines with me? [hands Dr. Cox a script] Dr. Perry Cox: [taking the script and reading it] Yeah, I'd be happy to. Patient: [reading from the script, speaking with heavy country accent] If I didn't know you was my wife's sister, I'd get ideas about you. Dr. Perry Cox: [over acting using hand gestures] I can't believe you think - I would do this with you - Seriously, I'm a doctor. Patient: [looking confused at Dr. Cox] What page are you on?
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - My Extra Mile Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Sometimes you've got to go the extra mile with patients. That's what makes me such a special doctor. Dr. Perry Cox: That and your amazing ability to switch back and forth, seamlessly, between male and female genitalia.
	Season 5 / Episode 11: - My Buddy's Booty Dr. Perry Cox: You know what else I hate about Kelso? His hair smells like a pet store. The Janitor: Actually, that's my fault. I filled his hair spray bottle with dog sweat. Dr. Perry Cox: Dogs don't sweat. The Janitor: They don't? Then what the hell am I putting in there?
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Dr. Perry Cox: I'm gonna let Big Bob here give the first excuse. Dr. Kelso: Blah, blah, blah, I'm not doing it.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Dr. Perry Cox: Hand over your stethoscope. J.D.: What? Dr. Perry Cox: In victory, I get your stethoscope. It's a trophy. You're lucky we're not back in olden times, I would have made a necklace out of your teeth. J.D.: I find this highly unproffesional. Dr. Perry Cox: Now I'm going to check on Mr Jenkins, your war hero. I feel he too deserves a competent doctor. In fact, I'm gonna take all of your patients. And consequently your only reason to get out of that lasie over pillowed 4 poster virgin cocoon you call a bed every morning.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Mr. Bursick: Which people do I hate again? J.D.: Immigrants, Mister Bursick. You hate all immigrants. Mr. Bursick: And why do I hate... J.D.: I don't have time, Mister Bursick. Guys, if I give you a patient I expect you to work your butt off for him. And P.S., Mr Jenkins is a Vietnam Vet, so let's take care of him like he took care of our nation. Get out of here! That's how you light a fire under their butt Perry, you let them go with some inspiration... Dr. Perry Cox: Too much talking, too much talking, too much talking, too much talking, to much talking, too much talking. Why did you order a BNP test on my patient Mrs Wilk last night? J.D.: Because she's my patient. Dr. Perry Cox: Interesting, since i admitted her. J.D.: And I treated her last night. Mr. Bursick: Dr Dorian, why do I hate all immigrants? J.D.: Because they're stealing all of our jobs, Mr Bursick... stealing aaall of our jobs. Perry, we spend an equal lot of time of Mrs Wilk. Now seing that we're both attendings, why don't we let her decide who her doctor is? Dr. Perry Cox: Ooor we could skip the day trip to unessesary land and instead simply conceed that Mrs Wilk is my patient. And while we are both attendings, we are in no way equals - we are in fact not equal. We are UN-equals.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception J.D.: This morning you told me you had a great life. Mrs. Wilk: Exactly, and I'd like to continue it. J.D.: Oh, this is a misunderstanding. I'm so sorry. J.D.: Tell her it's a misunderstanding. Dr. Perry Cox: He's tried to kill before.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Bob Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A... Dr. Perry Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill Ya and Stuff Ya and Leave you by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face... of the Year.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Perry Cox: Look, if you get up there and start kissing Kelso's ass, all your fellow attendings will forever think of you as a brown-nosing toady. On the other hand, if you don't pucker up, Kelso will make your life a living hell. You're officially trapped. J.D.: I'll just say something nice about him that's actually true. Dr. Perry Cox: You go do that. And I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible. Mm'kay?
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Perry Cox: Mr. Morrison, I understand that one of our interns spent an hour in here telling you over and over that you are going to die. I would make him apologize personally, but I'm having him spend the rest of the day checking that countertop's heartbeat. Keith: [Standing and waving] Sorry, Mr. Morrison! Dr. Perry Cox: KEITH! I think Mr. Countertop would really appreciate your undivided attention.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball J.D.: Can you believe Elliot's working in a free clinic? Dr. Perry Cox: Who? J.D.: Dr. Reid? Dr. Perry Cox: I'm sorry, that's just not ringing a bell. Nurse Carla Espinosa: She and J.D. used to sleep together. Dr. Perry Cox: J.D.? J.D.: That's not even funny! Dr. Perry Cox: Priscilla, I honestly, on my mother's grave, thought your real name was Carol.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball J.D.: Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Bob Kelso is a... Dr. Bob Kelso: [Rises and takes the mic] Thank you, Dr. Dorian! [the audience claps] Thank you so much for this award. Delighted to see you all... Dr. Perry Cox: Did I say he wanted a long introduction? Because Kelso just, he just likes when people say his name. Hope you didn't obsess too much about that, Newbie.
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - My Rite Of Passage Jordan Sullivan: Let's go Per! Dr. Perry Cox: I've been waiting for an hour. Jordan Sullivan: I know, I was leafing though a magazine and watching you on the security cameras. My favorite part is when you said "Screw her!" and then you stormed out, but then you came back because you realised [waves keys] I have the keys! Dr. Perry Cox: Jordan. Now that you work here h-every day, if the carpool torturing persists, I'm gonna put a plexi-glass seperator right down the middle of the car so you can't drive me crazy - you can't, you can't, you can't. Unfortunately your door handle doesn't work from the inside, which simply means that if we're in a fiery crash you won't be able to get out. Eeh, whatever. [Jordan walks off while Cox is still speaking. He doesn't even notice] That's a risk I'm sure willing to take. [looks up to see Jordan gone] Jorderoo? [camera switches to the view of Dr. Cox on the security monitor] Hello? Jordan Sullivan: I'm in here! You can't see me! Dr. Perry Cox: Jordan!

« previous12 3 4 next »

Previous: Nurse Carla Espinosa

Next: The Janitor

» Back to Scrubs TV Show