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Characters: #2 of 12 (Full List)
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 | Season 8 / Episode 9: - My Absence Denise: Fat dudes rule. They never expect commitment and they try so hard in the sack. Dr. Elliot Reid: Plus, they're just so grateful afterward. |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - My Absence Dr. Perry Cox: ...And that, Dorian, is what I think of you as a person. [Hands Elliot back her cell phone] Dr. Elliot Reid: That sounded harsh. Are you okay? Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [On speakerphone, crying] No! |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - My ABCs Dr. Elliot Reid: I wonder if they found a new head of medicine yet? The Janitor: Actually, they found one this morning. Oscar the Grouch: All right, you knuckleheads! Shape up! I'm watching you, John Dorian, and guess what? My eyes never close! The Janitor: Mine neither. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [back to reality] I grew up on the street. Not the hood. Sesame Street. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 10: - My Waste Of Time Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Why are we meeting him here? Dr. Elliot Reid: Because the last time I met a patient at their house, I ended up on the news. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Was that the crack raid? Dr. Elliot Reid: It was. |
| Season 6 / Episode 20: - My Conventional Wisdom Dr. Elliot Reid: Now don't you screw this up, Keith. Because if this goes wrong, the wedding goes wrong, and then I'll get depressed and fat and you cheat on me and I swear to god I will CHOP IT OFF! |
| Season 6 / Episode 20: - My Conventional Wisdom Dr. Elliot Reid: I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market. Dr. Perry Cox: I'm sure the pulse setting on your shower head will be devastated. |
| Season 6 / Episode 20: - My Conventional Wisdom Dr. Perry Cox: July 21st? Ooh, I'm afraid I won't be able to make it? Dr. Elliot Reid: Why not? Dr. Perry Cox: Because I wouldn't go to your wedding if it was held in my own backyard. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 19: - My Cold Shower Dr. Elliot Reid: [as Keith is putting on her engagement] Okay, it's a little tight. Just push harder. Okay, lifted a little skin there... Melody O'Harra: Here come the fricks. Dr. Elliot Reid: Just put the motherfricking ring on the motherfricking finger! Frick, frick, frick! |
| Season 6 / Episode 19: - My Cold Shower Dr. Elliot Reid: Mrs. Sheldon, may I just say, I hope I to look as good as you when I'm 80. Mrs. Sheldon: I'm 68. Dr. Elliot Reid: Do they not have sunscreen where you grew up? |
| Season 6 / Episode 15: - My Long Goodbye Dr. Elliot Reid: Somebody just had a baby... Dr. Perry Cox: How do you know? Dr. Elliot Reid: My uterus is glowing. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: My mom had a uterus... I lived in it.. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 9: - My Perspective Dr. Elliot Reid: He took care of you when you were wallowing on your couch drinking scotch like it was vodka. Dr. Perry Cox: I accidentally killed three people. He got arrested for pushing a scooter and he passes out when he poos. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 1: - My Mirror Image Carla: [J.D. tells Carla, Elliot, and Turk that Kim is pregnant] I'm sorry J.D. but you knew this could happen when you had sex. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I have to tell you guys something but you have to promise not to laugh. Ok? [Carla, Elliot, and Turk agree] Ok, on the night of said conception, ah, Kim and I nude-ed up, and um, the dirty talk began and I got a little over excited. Dr. Christopher Turk: Oooh, She like a the dirty talk! Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: No, I do. I find it gets the ladies going. But I occasionally get wrapped up in it myself, especially when I use some of my different voices. Dr. Elliot Reid: He does. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Anywho, there was some unexpected friendly-fire, and uh, even though I never got a chance to enter the, the village, ah, there was an air strike on one of the outlying regions. Dr. Christopher Turk: [Turk yells excitedly and Carla pulls his ear to stop him] Thank you. Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Anyway, I talked to the gals in O.B.G and they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant even if there was no actual penetration. Dr. Christopher Turk: What your trying to tell us is that you never actually had sex with her? Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: , I didn't have a condom. [Muffled giggles from Turk, Carla, and Elliot] And ah, we decided not to have sex because, here's the kicker, I didn't want to get her pregnant. [Carla, Elliot, and Turk break out in hysterical laughing] |
| Season 6 / Episode 1: - My Mirror Image Turk: Yo, Elliot... what's your ringtone? Dr. Elliot Reid: "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. Dr. Todd Quinlan: I'm carrying underwood right now. See, that's funny because it's true. [holds up his hand for a five, but Elliot looks disgusted] Please? |
| Season 5 / Episode 22: - My Deja Vu My Deja Vu Dr. Perry Cox: How's about we act like adults here and lay our cards on the table. You know that you're not exactly my favorite person in this dump, and I say that knowing full well that you feel the same way about me. Dr. Elliot Reid: I started an "I Hate Cox" chatroom. Hasn't really worked out the way I planned - it's me, two interns, and 14,000 lesbians. |
| Season 5 / Episode 21: - My Fallen Idol Carla: All right, people, listen up! We are a family, and what do families do when one of their own is in trouble? Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh! When my brother Barry came out of the closet, my parents send him to hetero-camp. Carla: Families who aren't from Connecticut. |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - My Extra Mile Dr. Christopher Turk: I'm so sick of this. If the jobs were given to whoever's the best surgeon, I would get all three of those damn spots. Dr. Elliot Reid: It's the same on the medical side, I swear. The only reason I got that oncology rotation is because I let Dr. Morgan take me as his date to his brother's wedding. Dr. Christopher Turk: Ricky Morgan? Dr. Elliot Reid: Mm-hmm Dr. Christopher Turk: He works in the cafeteria. Dr. Elliot Reid: [shocked] What? |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - My Extra Mile Dr. Ricky: Dr. Reid, I need to meet you in radiology to uh, you know, go over some test results. Dr. Elliot Reid: Yeah, it's over Ricky. Dr. Ricky: [takes off his white coat and looks at the janitor] I know you're stealing trays. Stop it. [walks away] |
| Season 5 / Episode 8: - My Big Bird Dr. Bob Kelso: Who's a whore? Dr. Elliot Reid: That'd be me, sir. Dr. Bob Kelso: Oh, of course. |
| Season 5 / Episode 8: - My Big Bird Dr. Elliot Reid: I was making out with a married man while his sick child slept a few feet away. Oh my god! I've become my mother! |
| Season 5 / Episode 8: - My Big Bird Keith: What are you doing? Dr. Elliot Reid: Don't look at me! Keith, you see the woman standing outside? [Keith mistakes a fat old woman for the "woman" Elliot meant] Keith: Yeah, i see her. Dr. Elliot Reid: I made out with her husband this morning Keith: That's disgusting |
| Season 5 / Episode 8: - My Big Bird Mrs. Wilk: Dr Reid, why are you hiding? You didn't do anything wrong. Dr. Elliot Reid: If we all win this lottery, I am using this money to find a decent man. |
| Season 5 / Episode 8: - My Big Bird Dr. Cox: Wait, wait, let me get on in this! Let's also have a toast to Mr Forster's widow and his fatherless kids. Dr. Elliot Reid: Dr Cox, it wasn't our fault. Dr. Cox: Because you are lucky! You know as well as I do, it could have been any one of your faults. Congrats again! Have a well party! |
| Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Dr. Elliot Reid: I should have just believed Mr Peele. I mean, it's not like somebody just poos their pants for no reason. J.D.: Turk did that in college on a bet. Dr. Christopher Turk: Carla didn't know that story, thank you. |
| Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Dr. Elliot Reid: [on her not wanting to be in Sacred Hearts annual staff picture] Yeah, I don't photograph well. On my drivers' licence photo, I look like Gary Busey. Gary Busey: Huh, they say the same thing about me. [chuckles] |
| Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Dr. Elliot Reid: Ohh, Roland's gonna be mad. J.D.: Oh well. He's 6, what's he gonna do? Kick my ass? J.D.: Again? |
| Season 5 / Episode 6: - My Missed Perception Dr. Elliot Reid: Frick, it's Mrs. Peele. One of us has to talk to her. Dr. Christopher Turk: All right, the first one who chugs their slushie is off the hook. Come on, here we go! Dr. Christopher Turk: Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Owww! Brain Freeze! Mrs. Peele: Why is my husband being discharged? Dr. Elliot Reid: Look, Mrs Peele. We really can not judge... Dr. Christopher Turk: [screaming] Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Dr. Elliot Reid: [embarrased, to Turk] Come on! Dr. Christopher Turk: It's so cold! Dr. Elliot Reid: Mrs Peele, even though Dr Turk is currently incapacitated by his cherry flavored bawl he's a fantastic surgeon. Dr. Christopher Turk: [giving her the thumbs up, still in pain] Uh-huh. Dr. Elliot Reid: He didn't find anything and I am a great doctor... Dr. Elliot Reid: - and I didn't either. Don't you think that, maybe, the pain could all be in his head? Mrs. Peele: Last week, we were watching TV and he was in too much pain to get up and use to bathroom. So he soiled himself, on the couch, right in front of our son. How do you explain that? Dr. Christopher Turk: [normal again] Maybe there was a really good game on television. Dr. Elliot Reid: Probably not. |
| Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Christopher Turk: Mr. Keck! What do you say we get you into surgery and take care of that hernia! Mr. Keck: Ummm, I don't know if surgery is necessary. Last night I was in pain, so I went to a free clinic. The doctor there said surgery wasn't my only option. Dr. Christopher Turk: Well, you're just gonna have to get him on the phone and tell him that I won't be second-opinioned by a clinic doctor who couldn't carry my jockstrap! [Holds his hand up to J.D] Gimme some! J.D.: [High-fives him] Here it is. Dr. Elliot Reid: [in Free Clinic, on the phone with Mr Keck] Yeah, I think I know this guy. Is he a cocky black doctor with a white doctor following him around and looking at him like he's in love? J.D.: [in in Mr Kecks room] [to Turk] You would make a pretty girl. Mr. Keck: [Into phone] Yeah. Dr. Elliot Reid: [back in Free Clinic] All right, now repeat after me... Mr. Keck: [to Turk] "You can't decide for me, that's not your duty." Dr. Elliot Reid: And are they both trying not to laugh at the word "duty"? Mr. Keck: [J.D. and Turk try to hold their giggles back] [Into phone] Yeah. Hey, Heckle and Jeckle, you know what? No surgery. Dr. Christopher Turk: [Grabbing the phone] Who the hell is this? Free Clinic Patient: [into Phone] Where are my shoelaces? Dr. Elliot Reid: I said to tell him that he had a laxity in the peritoneal wall and that surgery was unnecessarily invasive! Was that so hard? |
| Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Elliot Reid: Look, Lorraine, the sooner you let me have a look at that rash, the sooner we can get you back home. [the patient looks at her] I mean, back on the street, which is your home. Hey! Home Street Home, huh? [Chuckles and snorts] I'm sorry, Lorraine, that was incredibly insensitive. |
| Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Christopher Turk: Elliot, nobody respects clinic doctors. Dr. Elliot Reid: Really, Turk? I think your hernia patient does. Dr. Christopher Turk: [Laughing] I'm not upset about that! Nurse Carla Espinosa: It's obvious you are. J.D.: It's more obvious to me, baby - I mean Turk. Dr. Elliot Reid: Look, I know this place isn't the greatest, but it's not like I lie awake thinking about being yelled at by Dr. Cox or playing Jiggly Ball with the orderlies. |
| Season 5 / Episode 4: - My Jiggly Ball Dr. Elliot Reid: I told you guys to leave it alone. Nurse Carla Espinosa: Oh, would you stop being so proud? Dr. Elliot Reid: I'm proud? Carla! After the wedding, you wouldn't even take Turk's name! Nurse Carla Espinosa: I use it for official things! Dr. Elliot Reid: Letting him call you Mrs. Turk in the bedroom isn't official. Dr. Christopher Turk: But it is officially hot! Dr. Elliot Reid: And Turk, you freaked out when the hernia patient listened to me over you. And J.D.! You just let the entire hospital pummel you with tennis balls because you were too proud to admit you didn't know what "Jiggly Ball" was. |
| Previous: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian | Next: Dr. Christopher Turk |
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