Salute Your Shorts Quotes

Salute Your Shorts

- Episode Quotes

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Salute Your Shorts Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Capture the Flag Donkeylips: I'm warning you, Budnick. I wouldn't go out there if I were you. You're not gonna make it more than ten steps. Budnick: Yeah, well luckily you're not me, otherwise my clothes wouldn't fit. See you at the flag, suckers. [Budnick leaves the group, only to be doused with a barrage of water balloons] Donkeylips: I was wrong. He made it 11 steps.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Budnick Loves Dina (2) Sponge Harris: [the kids just finish watching the tape of Budnick and Dina's first date] The end. Telly Radford: The end of Budnick.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Budnick Loves Dina (2) Ronnie Pinsky: [of Budnick singing Captain & Tennille songs] Guys, to quote one of my favorite falsifiers, Baloo the Bear..."He's gone, man. Solid gone."
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Budnick Loves Dina (2) Bobby Budnick: [campers are having a food fight when Budnick enters the room] Stop! Now! [the campers stop] Are you all right, honey? Dina Alexander: I'm fine; I was just having a little fun. Bobby Budnick: [yells at the rest of the campers as Ug enters the room with an ice pack on his head] Were you guys all born in barns? Don't you realize that food fighting is bad? Very, very bad! This camp has rules; if we do not abide by those rules we could have complete anarchy! [turns to Dina] I looked that up in the dictionary. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: Bobby Budnick stopped a food fight? I must be hallucinating. I've got to get some more ice.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Budnick Loves Dina (2) Kevin 'Ug' Lee: [enters the cafeteria with a bandage on his head and talks to ZZ and Dina] Question: What's wrong with Budnick? I mean, every time I saw him today he was nice. He even volunteered to pick up trash, it's scary. Z.Z. Ziff: Sure is.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Budnick Loves Dina (2) Dina Alexander: Dina How's your head, Ug? Kevin 'Ug' Lee: Fine, but do you guys hear this really high-pitched... [makes a beeping sound] Dina Alexander, Z.Z. Ziff: No. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: Or this low pitched sound sort of womp... womp...? Dina Alexander, Z.Z. Ziff: No. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: So I guess that brontosaurus tap-dancing in the corner isn't real, hun? Dina Alexander, Z.Z. Ziff: No. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: I think I better go put some more ice on my head. Z.Z. Ziff: You go do that, Ug, now...
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Budnick Loves Dina (1) Bobby Budnick: Wow! That girl is amazing! That girl is breathtaking! Ronnie Pinsky: That girl is Dina!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Budnick Loves Dina (1) Bobby Budnick: [Budnick and Dina are looking at their three-legged race trophy they just won] "Budnick and Dina." It has a nice ring to it. Dina Alexander: Why isn't my name first? Bobby Budnick: Do you want it first? I can make it first. Dina Alexander: Whatever. Bobby Budnick: You say that really nice. Dina Alexander: You're weird. Bobby Budnick: You say that nice, too.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Budnick Loves Dina (1) Bobby Budnick: [talking about his liking Dina] You want to know why? Ronnie Pinsky: Because she looks great in a bikini? Dina Alexander: No. Every cool guy needs a cool lady to hang with, and at this camp Dina is it. [we see a fantasy version of Dina in the background as Budnick describes her] I mean she's perfect! She's gorgeous, she's smart... Dina Alexander: E = MC...Hammer! Bobby Budnick: And I bet she would win in a beauty competition. She really likes music too, just like me. She's a really good singer, and a good dancer, just like I am. [Dina begins to hum] But it's what's on the inside that really counts. I mean Dina has a really big heart! And she really loves animals too. I think the thing I like about her most is that her dad has a couple of billion dollars. So I wouldn't mind calling him Dad either. Ronnie Pinsky: You just described a combination of Mother Teresa, Madonna, and Flipper. I'm not sure there was much Dina in there.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Budnick Loves Dina (1) Bobby Budnick: I just got to find a way to ask her to the social so that she can't blow me off. Ronnie Pinsky: Well, if you are committed to that idea, just do what you do best. Bobby Budnick: Twist her arm? Ronnie Pinsky: Write her a song. Bobby Budnick: A song...with a twist. Pinsky, you are a genius, second of course only to myself. Ronnie Pinsky: Hey!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Budnick Loves Dina (1) Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen: [sitting and watching Pinsky and Telly fight over a piece of paper in the lake] Looks like Budnick has a crush on Dina. Sponge Harris: And ZZ has a crush on Budnick. Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen: And I think Telly is actually crushing Pinsky. Sponge Harris: But no one has a crush on us. Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen: Do you think it is going to be that way our whole lives? Sponge Harris: Nah, in a few years women will love us for our minds and it won't matter if we're cool. Sponge Harris: I can't wait! Hey, let's go rub some sticks together and see if we can start a fire.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Cursed Skull Telly: Anyone seen Ug? Donkeylips: I saw him running in his underwear looking for a four leaf clover, and then a bee stung him in the butt.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Cursed Skull Bobby Budnick: We are always one, Blood Brothers in the secret order of... Bobby Budnick: A Casaba Melon?! Donkeylips: It's fruit. Sponge Harris: We killed ourselves for that? Ronnie Pinsky: Budnick, you moron. What are we going to do? Bobby Budnick: We die!!!!
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Cursed Skull Telly: [trapped in a cave] Echo. Save the whales. Z.Z. Ziff: Will you shut up! Z.Z. Ziff: What? You don't want to save the whales?
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Counselor Budnick Dina Alexander: We have created a monster. Sponge Harris: Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Aristotle said that. Ronnie Pinsky: Budnick is a swine. Let's pound him. Pinsky said that. Bobby Budnick: Quit your yapping, no breaks. [sleeps] Sponge Harris: We have to find some way to get him him back. Dina Alexander: Why don't we put meat in his toothpaste? Ronnie Pinsky: No good. There's no telling when he's going to brush his teeth. Telly Radford: I still say pounding him is a good idea. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: [puts bucket down] So you want to get Budnick, huh? Here's how we do it. When he pulls rank, we pull a prank. When he sends us to the Pool, we send him to the Latrine. That the Anawanna way.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Counselor Budnick Dina Alexander: Budnick, why can't you just go swim in the lake? Bobby Budnick: Because fish fart in it!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Pinskey Comes to Camp Dina Alexander: What are you goobers doing? Dina Alexander: We're playing Pick the Pox. Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen: You got to guess the exact number of chicken pox of Michael's face when he returns from the hospital. Dina Alexander: What a completely moronic and childish thing to do. Bobby Budnick: The winner gets a gallon of chocolate ice cream. Dina Alexander: 35 pox!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Pinskey Comes to Camp Kevin 'Ug' Lee: I'm sorry to have to tell you all like this, but Michael Stein won't be coming back to camp this summer. Telly Radford: Why not? Kevin 'Ug' Lee: Soon he'll be going to a better place. Z.Z. Ziff: You mean he died? Kevin 'Ug' Lee: No. He's going to Europe.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Pinskey Comes to Camp Kevin 'Ug' Lee: This is it; the baseball field! What do you think? Ronnie Pinsky: It's not exactly what they showed me in the brochure.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Pinskey Comes to Camp Ronnie Pinsky: You know, guys, most camps have rules against bringing in outside food, but you know what? I don't like rules. Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I come bearing gifts. Behold, famous Pinsky salami; the most delicious meat or meat byproduct known to man.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Budnick and Michael Fake Being Sick Sponge Harris: Um, Ug, Donkeylips just gave that police officer half a peace sign. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: Which half? [sirens sound]
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Budnick and Michael Fake Being Sick Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen: [while locked in a bathroom] Hey, there's a machine on the wall that sells balloons!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Donkeylips and Sponge Weigh In Z.Z. Ziff: I think it's a species of Lima beans. Michael Stein: Nah, Lima beans don't have little twitching legs. Dina Alexander: Either this is a type of sauce, or my bratwurst is sweating. Bobby Budnick: [enters] Hi guys. I come bearing good news. Z.Z. Ziff: They hung the chef?
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Toilet Seat Basketball Kevin 'Ug' Lee: If you wanna be a winner, you have to learn the 4 F's of leadership: fearlessness, fairness, firmness, and control. Telly Radford: Control isn't an F. Kevin 'Ug' Lee: Well then it's... it's 3 F's and a C. Telly Radford: Sounds like Donkeylips' report card.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Michael Comes To Camp Sponge Harris: You should have never come to this camp. Michael Stein: Why? Sponge Harris: Because the food bites, bugs bite, activities bite, everything bites!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Michael Comes To Camp Michael Stein: [on Michael's first day of camp, his boxers have been stolen and are hanging on the flag pole] Great. What do I do now? Sponge Harris: Well, I suggest you stand tall, click your heels, and salute your shorts.
	Unknown Episode: Donkeylips: Someday I will go out with her. Bobby: Stop dreaming and glue your macaroni. Donkeylips: I can't. Bobby: Why not? Donkeylips: I ate it all. Bobby: How? It was uncooked, rock hard, and covered with yellow spray paint. Donkeylips: I thought that was cheese.
	Unknown Episode: Z.Z.: (trapped in a cave) Echo. Save the whales. Telly: Will you shut up! Z.Z.: What? You don't want to save the whales?
	Unknown Episode: Bobby: You are roasted. Donkeylips: Toasted. Bobby, Donkeylips: And burned to a crisp!
	Unknown Episode: Donkeylips: Hey, Sponge. Sponge Harris: Yeah? Donkeylips: Maybe if I did lose weight I wouldn't get picked on as much. I'm a little husky, you know? Sponge Harris: Yeah I know. But getting picked on isn't so bad. Someday I'll get rich inventing this cool space laser and I'll have this giant company and people like Budnick will be emptying my waste baskets. Donkeylips: Yeah! With gum on the bottom. Sponge Harris: And big dripping wads of Kleenex! Donkeylips: Yeah, and he has to pluck it out with his teeth! That'd be cool! Sponge Harris: Revenge!

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