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Rules of Engagement tv show

Rules of Engagement

- Episode Quotes

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Rules of Engagement Quotes

02x12 - Optimal Male Season 2 / Episode 12: - Optimal Male

Jeff: If I die, are you gonna get remarried?
Audrey: Yeah, maybe.
Jeff: Do me a favor, cremate me and throw my ashes in his face.
02x07 - Engagement Party Season 2 / Episode 7: - Engagement Party

Jeff: Don't play dumb with me. That's a game you can't win.
01x05 - Kids Season 1 / Episode 5: - Kids

Adam: Stupid, stupid future!
01x05 - Kids Season 1 / Episode 5: - Kids

Audrey: [banging on door] C'mon Jeff, you don't have to read all the magazines.
Jeff: Dammit! You made me miss.
Audrey: What ?
Jeff: You made me miss. You knocked just as I was teeing off and I shanked it.
Audrey: Are you nude ?
Jeff: If I'm gonna do this, I'm going to do it right. And, why did you knock ?
Audrey: Well, I'm sorry but you were taking forever.
Jeff: I was romancing myself.
Audrey: Why? You know how easy you are...
Jeff: With you maybe. With myself, I like a little foreplay. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a quick nap, and then play the back nine.
01x05 - Kids Season 1 / Episode 5: - Kids

Adam Rhodes: Stupid, stupid future!
01x03 - Young & the Restless Season 1 / Episode 3: - Young & the Restless

Audrey: Are those crumbs on your face? Oh my God, you ate the butt pie?
Jeff: It was paid for.
01x03 - Young & the Restless Season 1 / Episode 3: - Young & the Restless

Audrey: Apple pie for breakfast?
Jeff: Here's my thinking on that. You'd be fine if I ordered apple danish which is basically flat apple pie.
Audrey: Good use of your brain.
01x03 - Young & the Restless Season 1 / Episode 3: - Young & the Restless

Audrey Bingham: Are those crumbs on your face? Oh my God, you ate the butt pie?
Jeff Bingham: It was paid for.
01x01 - Pilot Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot

Jeff: She wanted to get a cat. I didn't want to get a cat. So we compromised and... got a cat.
01x01 - Pilot Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot

Russell: I do what I want, date who I want, and sleep with whoever will let me.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Jeff Bingham: Don't play dumb with me. It's a game you can't win.


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