 |
|
|
Characters: #4 of 7 (Full List)
|
|
Played by:
|
 | Season 9 / Episode 10: - Home is Where the Afghan Is Beverly Harris: And he's not the only man like that! They're all cut from the same cloth.Which is why I don't particularly care for men! Frankly, to sleep with a man is to know how much you hate them! By the end of my marriage, the only way I could have sex with my husband was if I stopped off at the store and bought myself a Playboy first! [looks shocked at what she just said] Darlene Conner-Healy: [after several reaction shots] Well, I think Grandma's just outed herself! D.J. Conner: Oh God! [covers his face] Nana Mary: I've always know it since she's a little girl. She always liked flannel. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 22: - I Pray the Lord My Stove to Keep D.J. Conner: How come we never say grace? Darlene Conner: Because D.J., grace is for those who are thankful. |
| Season 6 / Episode 22: - I Pray the Lord My Stove to Keep D.J. Conner: [confronted about why he has been sneaking off to church] Mom, I wanted to tell you. I just had some questions about God and stuff. Roseanne Conner: Well, so why didn't you come to us if you had questions? You know, there's no two better people to answer your questions than me and your Dad. D.J. Conner: Okay. What religion are we? Roseanne Conner: I have no idea. Dan? Dan Conner: Well... my family's Pentacostal on Mom's side, Baptist on my Dad's. Your Mom's Mom was Lutheran and her Dad was Jewish. D.J. Conner: So what do we believe? Roseanne Conner: Well... we believe in, ah, being good. So basically we're good people. Dan Conner: Yeah, but we're not practicing. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 21: - Lies My Father Told Me David Healy: Darlene, I was reading if your grandmother is insane, there's a 1 in 3 chance you might be too. There's a test in here to find out. Question 1, do you put your shoes on one at a time or both at once? Darlene Conner: Both at once. David Healy: That was easy. What color is a dog barking? Darlene Conner: Bright green. David Healy: Green, bright green, that's good. Triangle, boat, or hat? D.J. Conner: Triangle? Darlene Conner: Boat. David Healy: Right, so far so good. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 11: - The Driver's Seat Cop #1: [Roseanne's stolen car was recovered by the police] Well, there is some good news. We were patrolling around the vicinity and found a witness who saw the guy. He decribed him as a juvenile, Caucasian, dark hair, dark eyes, resembling "Eddie Munster". D.J. Conner: [everyone turns at once and looks at D.J.] I gotta get off the phone now. |
| Season 6 / Episode 11: - The Driver's Seat D.J. Conner: [shouts to the Cops, after Dan and Roseanne figure out that D.J. is the one who stole the car] Don't leave me alone with them! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 1: - Two Down, One to Go D.J. Conner: There's cake in the fridge. Dad, make Mom give us cake. Dan Conner: [adopting a hilarious hick attitude] Woman, my son here wants cake. So does your man. I'd better see me some cake fixin' goin' on here! Right now! I mean it! Don't make me come over there! Dan Conner: [Roseanne and Jackie are cracking up. Dan switches back to a normal voice] Son, I just lost control of the house; it's every man for himself. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 20: - It was Twenty Years Ago Today D.J. Conner: [in the Big and Tall store] Hey Dad, look! I can get this belt around me *three times*! |
 | Season 5 / Episode 13: - Crime and Punishment (1) Dan Conner: [to D.J.'s school principle] Well look I, I know it's wrong for kids to bring comics to school and read them in class, but hey, they're kids. I know it's not great literature. My, God! What kind of diseased mind could create something like this? Dan Conner: ... Oh man. Hey, I don't know where D.J. got this, but you can be sure we don't allow things like this in our house. This is not how we raise our children! [to D.J.] Where did you get this? D.J. Conner: Darlene made it. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 24: - Don't Make Me Over Darlene: [D.J. is sitting on the counter, kicking the kitchen cabinets with his heels] It's Mother's Day, you moron. Stop trying to tick her off. Becky: Yea, and go upstairs and hose off whatever stupid thing you made for her in school, and bring it down. D.J. Conner: Or what! Darlene: Or we'll bury you under the porch with the rest of our brothers. |
| Season 4 / Episode 24: - Don't Make Me Over D.J. Conner: Here. Happy Mother's Day! Roseanne Conner: Oh, lookit, it's an ashtray with your picture at the bottom. Darlene: Aww, it's a shame you quit smoking, you could grind your butts out on his face. |
| Season 4 / Episode 24: - Don't Make Me Over Roseanne Conner: I got a call from D.J.'s school today because he hasn't turned in any math assignments for 2 whole weeks. Dan: Why not? Roseanne Conner: Well he's had a lot of extra responsibility around here since you died. Dan: [pause] Did I suffer? Roseanne Conner: No, a sniper shot you. D.J. Conner: I said I was sorry! Roseanne Conner: Ever since he got that video game all he's been doing is goofing off. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 2: - Friends and Relatives Roseanne Conner: [Becky has complained that DJ walked in on her] Look me in the eye and tell me it was an accident. And remember... I can tell when you're lying D.J. Conner: It was an accident... could you tell? |
| Season 3 / Episode 2: - Friends and Relatives D.J. Conner: [Darlene catches D.J. peeking at her] She called me a prevert. Roseanne Conner: No honey, you're not a prevert, you're a pervert. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 20: - Toto, We're Not in Kansas Anymore D.J. Conner: [after the tornado] Can I outside now? Roseanne: No, I'm not done hugging you yet. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 14: - Father's Day Ed Conner: [in the garage] What are you guys doin'? Roseanne: Me and D.J.'s trapping ants for his ant condo. D.J. Conner: We put jelly on the bread, Grandpa. Roseanne: Yeah, and when the ants come out, we smash them over the head with a two-by-four. Same way I caught Dan. |
| Previous: Jackie | Next: Darlene |
|
Sitemap -
Feedback -
About Us
© sharetv.org - free online tv community |
Follow ShareTV.org on:
 Facebook
 Twitter
|
|
What's New Tonight? Nip/Tuck 06x07 Criminal Minds 05x09 CSI: New York 06x09 Law & Order: Special Victi … 11x10 |
Premiere Countdown Scrubs - 6 days Chuck - 46 days Big Love - 46 days |
Watch Online Monk (5 episodes) Lost (94 episodes) Eureka (5 episodes) |
