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Rocko's Modern Life tv show

Rocko's Modern Life

- Episode Quotes

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Rocko's Modern Life Quotes

03x10 - Wacky Delly Season 3 / Episode 10: - Wacky Delly

Filburt Shellbach: [voicing Mr. Cheese] I am the cheese! I am the best character on this show! I am better than both the salami and the bologna combined!
03x08 - Fortune Cookie / Dear John Season 3 / Episode 8: - Fortune Cookie / Dear John

Filbert: [reading a fortune cookie] Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.
02x03 - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad

Filburt Shellbach: [singing] Short and fat and green and warty / The toads from Okefenokee they party / When they party, yes, wen they party / They go R-I-B-B-I-T.
02x03 - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad

Bev Bighead: Ed, would you say sales this quarter are...
Ed Bighead: [Delirious] Garbage day is a very dangerous day.
Bev Bighead: Never mind.
02x03 - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad

Receptionist: Morning, Mr. Bighead. Feeling better today?
Heffer Wolfe: Okay, watch this.
Receptionist: [Imitates Ed] I'm Mr. Bighead, and, boy, am I ever grouchy!
Receptionist: Of course, sir. They're waiting for you in the boardroom.
Filburt Shellbach: Thank you. [Snickers]
02x03 - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad

Filburt Shellbach: Ed! Ed! You have been charged with treason. How do you plead, froggy-lips?
Heffer Wolfe: He looks funny.
Filburt Shellbach: Shut up! Ed, I am your conscience.
Heffer Wolfe: I'm his conscience, too.
Filburt Shellbach: What?
Heffer Wolfe: Don't say I, say we.
Filburt Shellbach: What?
Heffer Wolfe: We! We!
Filburt Shellbach: All right. Wee-wee!
Heffer Wolfe: [Snickers] You said "wee-wee." Say it again.
Filburt Shellbach: Wee-wee!
02x03 - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad

Filburt Shellbach: Citizens of Conglomo, repeat after me. Wee-wee!
Crowd: Wee-wee!
Heffer Wolfe: [Laughs] Say it again!
Crowd: Wee-wee! Wee-wee! Wee-wee!
01x06 - The Good, the Bad, and the Wallaby / Trash-O-Madness Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Good, the Bad, and the Wallaby / Trash-O-Madness

Rocko: Garbage day is a very dangerous day.
01x04 - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skid Marks Season 1 / Episode 4: - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skid Marks

Filburt Turtle: These computer screens are radioactive, and the plate in my head is vibrating!
01x04 - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skid Marks Season 1 / Episode 4: - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skid Marks

Little Boy: Daddy, Daddy, teachers tell me that whenever someone drives with a gas cap on, an angel gets its wings!
Father: Your teacher's full of snot!
01x04 - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skid Marks Season 1 / Episode 4: - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skid Marks

Pig Driving Instructor: [playing with the floor tiles, to Rocko] Don't step on the white ones. Hot la-a-a-a-a-va. Pineapples!
01x03 - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog Season 1 / Episode 3: - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog

Airport Announcer: Mr. Fourapples, Mr. Bob Fourapples, please return to the ticket counter.
01x03 - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog Season 1 / Episode 3: - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog

Airport Announcer: Mr. Maniac, Mr. Klepto Maniac, please put back the white courtesy phone.
01x03 - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog Season 1 / Episode 3: - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog

Flight Attendant: Flight 1313 to Las Vegas is now boarding. Will all one-legged weasels born on the right side of a watermelon please board.
01x03 - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog Season 1 / Episode 3: - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog

Captain: No need to be alarmed, we just lost power to our right engine.

Captain: Oops.
01x03 - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog Season 1 / Episode 3: - Jet Scream / Dirty Dog

Rocko: Bath day is a very dangerous day.
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Ed Bighead: [singsongy] Oh, Be-ev.
Bev Bighead: Yes, Ed.
Ed Bighead: [seriously] We're almost out of mouthwash.
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Heffer Wolfe: Rocko, living here has allowed me to explore new facets of my personality. I am a nudist.
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Heffer Wolfe: I had this wild dream. Electric eels were biting my butt.
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Bev Bighead: Rocko, could I interrupt you for a moment? There is a spider on the toilet. Would you mind shooing him out for me?
Rocko: Don't worry, Mrs. Bighead. I'll get rid of him.

Spider: [Yiddish accent] Hey! Vad is dis, a sideshow?
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Couch: Now listen here, Tanker Tush! You can park your thunder cheeks in someone else's face because I deserve better than this! Sayonara, butterball!
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Heffer Wolfe: Hey, Rocko!
Rocko: What have you done?!
Heffer Wolfe: Pretty cool, huh? Gave all your old stuff to charity.
Rocko: You...!
Heffer Wolfe: You can thank me over dinner. I made us my specialty.

Heffer Wolfe: Voila! The Heffer Deluxe!
Rocko: [takes a bite] Heffer, this is bonza! What's in it?
Heffer Wolfe: Well, let's see, there's pickled banana shavings, gym socks, canned haggis, beetle bladder, real processed head cheese, salt peter, reconstituted corn sweat, the finest barley and hops. [Heffer's dish starts to crawl away so he stabs it] Hmmm now where was I, pot ash, sulfur, mono sodium glutamate, and vegetable catalidge as a binding agent.
01x02 - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows Season 1 / Episode 2: - Leap Frogs / Bedfellows

Rocko: [Rocko has nothing but a trash can on his body.] I want all you nudists outta here this instant! [cut to Rocko at his front door] And stay out! At least I have my dignity.
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

Chuck Chameleon: Holy enchilada!
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

Leon Chameleon: Mrs. Bighead plowed us with a piano!
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

TV Instructor: [to Rocko] Hey, fatso, let's go! I'm not doing this for my health!
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

Heffer Wolfe: [seeing the Conglom-O credit card that Rocko got in the mail] Rocko! That's it! The answer to all your problems! Plastic! You can charge now and pay later!
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

Heffer Wolfe: Wow, look at all the trees.
Heffer Wolfe: [reading a sign] "Welcome to O-Town National Forest."
Rocko: [reading another sign] "Enjoy Nature's Splendor."

Heffer Wolfe, Rocko: Ooooooh, splendor!
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

Rocko: We don't need some hoity-toity health club to stay in shape, eh, Heff?
Heffer Wolfe: No way, man! Care for another slice of pizza?
Rocko: I'm feeling the burn!
Heffer Wolfe: Yeah, you should blow on it first. The cheese is hot.
01x01 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck? Season 1 / Episode 1: - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck?

Banjo Boy: Here comes one of those silly, exercisin' city boys sneakin' up our river.


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