Robot Chicken Quotes

Robot Chicken

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 4 / Episode 9: - But Not In That Way Linus Van Pelt: I love Geography Day! [shows off a map of Italy] I got Italy! Lucy Van Pelt: [showing off a map of Russia] I got Russia! Charlie Brown: [showing off a map of Iraq] I got Iraq.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Tell My Mom Tony Stark: Who are you? Nick Fury: I'm Nick Fury, director of SHIELD, and I want to talk to you about the Avengers Project. Tony Stark: And who the hell are you? Nick Fury: RUN!
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Slaughterhouse on the Prairie Grizzlor: Kill me please, kill me! She-Ra: [shouts] Shut-up! [slams the door of her room]
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Squaw Bury Shortcake Mother: If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass milk. If you give him some milk, he'll want more. If you give a mouse more milk, he'll develop a taste for human blood. If he develops a taste for human blood, he'll become a vampire. If he becomes a vampire, he'll have to make followers. Now, if he makes some followers, they'll need to feed. If they feed too much, the national guard will be called out. If the national guard is called out, they, too, will become fodder for the vampires. If the national guard fails, the President will call in a nuclear strike. If a nuke is dropped, hundreds of thousands of people will die. America will become a nuclear wasteland and collapse. With no one to keep the rest of the world's nukes in check, every crackpot nation will launch their own. Eventually the entire earth will be destroyed. And that's why I had to kill Daddy. He was giving a mouse a cookie. [laughs] Sleep well, sweetie.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Werewolves vs. Unicorns Soundwave: Megatron, the ultimate death ray is almost complete! Megatron: Excellent, Soundwave. Now monitor their progress, by hiding in plain sight!
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Werewolves vs. Unicorns Megatron: Soundwave hasn't reported back in days! Where could he be? Shockwave: Megatron! I think I found him! [points to the computer screen] Megatron: eBay? Shockwave: Requesting permission to buy it now.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Book of Corrine Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Hello Robot Chicken. I viewed your recent Gobots sketch with a total lack of mirth and an abundance of extreme displeasure. The folowing is my annotated version of your worthless attempt at humour. Watch and learn jerks! Daniel 'Gyro Robo': [Scooter runs into the bathroom with a nudie mag and some lotion] First of all Gobots do not live in houses. Second of all Gobots do not masturbate if that is indeed what you are implying. Leader-1: Scooter? Scooter: Don't come in! Leader-1: What are you doing in there? Scooter: DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN! Daniel 'Gyro Robo': [sighing] This is NOT a hilarious circumstance. It is both painful and truamatic as anyone who has lived through it will tell you. Turbo: So... Let me get this straight? You're a helicopter and your name is Cop-Tur? Cop-Tur: Yes! Turbo: Lame! Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Turbo is a good Gobot and Cop-Tur is a Renegade Gobot. They would not be conversing as such. Also Cop-Tur is just his lame American name. When the character was originated in Japan in 1981 Cop-Tur's name was Gyro Robo. I have taken the librety of redubbing this scene. So I hear your name is Gyro Robo? Correct! That is very not lame. Daniel 'Gyro Robo': [Cy-Kill turns into a girl's bycicle] I won't even dignify this scene with my analysis. Robot Chicken has screwed the proverbial pooch while attempting to skewer the vast and magnificent world of the Gobots. Please GO TO HELL! Mother: Daniel? Come get your supper honey. Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Mom I told my name is Gyro Robo. Mother: Oh sorry Gyro Robo. Daniel 'Gyro Robo': There that's more like it.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Book of Corrine Man: Hiya Casper! Hey! Jasper The Douchebag Ghost: Someone call UPS there's a little package that needs to be delivered. Man: Hey! I thought you were supposed to be a friendly ghost? Jasper The Douchebag Ghost: IDIOT! I'm his brother Jasper the Douchebag Ghost. Singer: Jasper the Douchebag Ghost the douchiest ghost posessed. He'll call you names and be real mean until you feel depressed. He'll always say... Jasper The Douchebag Ghost: FUCK YOU! And lick my sack, ya fairy! Singer: He's so damned rude and so damed crude. Jasper the Douchebag Ghost. Pastor: [Jasper enters the body of a deceased woman] We will all miss Annie. But she has gone to a better place. [Annie suddenly rises] Herman: Oh grandma. I knew you weren't dead. Jasper The Douchebag Ghost: You know Herman you were always my least favorite grandchild. [laughing] Jasper The Douchebag Ghost: RETARD! Singer: [singing] Jasper the Douchebag Ghost. Jasper The Douchebag Ghost: Lick my sack!
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Donkey Punch Announcer: He's making a list. He's checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's nazi or nice. Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Pissed
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Sausage Fest father: What a day! It's exhausting being the CEO of Burger King!
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Sausage Fest Giraffe: [Struggling waist-deep in quicksand] Uh oh. Giraffe: [Screen: Stage One - Denial] It's no big deal. It's probably not even quicksand! I'll have a good laugh about this tonight with the guys. [laughs] Giraffe: [Screen: Stage Two - Anger] Well this is just fucking perfect! Stupid quicksand, stupid jungle, argh, I wanna bite someone in the face! Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Fuck! Stupid jungle! Fuck! Giraffe: [Screen: Stage Three - Bargaining] Are you there, God? It's me, Giraffe. Listen, if you would just give me a mulligan on this quicksand thing, I promise, I promise, no more peeing on your shorter creatures. Deal? Giraffe: [Screen: Stage Four - Depression] [uncontrollable sobs] Giraffe: [Screen: Stage Five - Acceptance] You know something? I'm cool with this. I'll bet, I'll bet heaven has all the tender leaves I can eat. And everyone gets their own slurpie machine. Yeah. Take me sweet death, I await your loving embrace! [stamp] Uh, what? I think I hit the bottom. Fuck.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - The Munnery General Zod: Kneel before Zod! General Zod: [Exercise music begins] Lay down on your back before Zod! General Zod: Now! Using your lower abdominals, raise your legs and hold on a five count before Zod! General Zod: One before Zod! General Zod: Two before Zod! General Zod: Three before Zod!
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Password: Swordfish Hermione Granger: According to legend, Pubertis lives in this dungeon. Ron Weasley: Harry! I'm scared! Harry: You're always scared you chicken shit! Ron Weasley: I can't help it! I'm a red-headed, pimple-faced chicken shit virgin!
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Password: Swordfish John Corzine: I am New Jersey's Governor, John Corzine.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Massage Chair Bush's Aide: Mr. President, we still haven't found any weapons of mass destruction. George W. Bush: [trying to do the Jedi mind trick] You HAVE found weapons of mass destruction. Bush's Aide: [stares at Bush] Uhh... hi. We haven't. George W. Bush: You HAVE. Bush's Aide: [sighs] I don't know what you're doing. George W. Bush: Bring me a taco. Bush's Aide: Yes, sir. George W. Bush: Heh, heh, heh... Tacos rule.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Rodigitti song: Senior Mutant Ninja Turtles/Senior Mutant Ninja Turtles/Senior Mutant Ninja Turtles/Hero's in a Wheelchair
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Rodigitti Sephiroth: [Sephiroth is the manager of a fast food joint where Cloud works] Ha ha ha, Cloud I need you to work on Saturday! Cloud: But I have Lakers tickets! Sephiroth: Ha ha ha [They fight!]
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Rodigitti Customer 1: ... Customer 2: I'm So Hungry! Customer 3: Hi Mrs. Hungry can I call you "So"?
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Rodigitti Daffy Duck: First on the mic tonight is the reigning champion, the MC hunter, Elmer Phudd, with a PH! Elmer Fudd: I'll get you wabbit! Ohh, I'm taking you to school, call me the professer, you're sexually confused, 'cause you're a crossdresser! You like to kiss men and that's real funny, call up Hugh Hefner, you a gay boy bunny! You're lost on this stage, you need a map, junkie. You made a wrong left turn at Alberqurque. One more, one more. I'm a pimp, 'cause my hunting power's are hot, son. You would ride by on your home with my double barrel shotgun!
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Rodigitti Bugs Bunny: Yeah, yeah. I know that you call me a "Rascally Wabbit", you say your R's like your W's, that's a really bad habit! It's room not womb, trees not twees, you replace so many R's, I thought you was Chinese! You're so stcuk on yourself, I'll call you Elmer's Glue, I got you some coffee, one lump or two? Elmer Fudd: Two? [Bugs bashes a mallet on his head two times] Bugs Bunny: [dressed in a dress and wig] I only dress like a goil to prove that you're gay, would you like a kiss handsome? Elmer Fudd: Really? Okay. Bugs Bunny: Elmer packs fudd, you heard what I said, he's so bald, I'll put a hare on his head! I'll sit down on your head, just like I was a thinker. Hmm... [farts] Ain't I a stinker? Daffy Duck: Holy Toledo! B. Rabbit wins! B. Rabbit wins! Elmer Fudd: [sobbing] I'm a disgwace!
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Rodigitti Porky Pig: Th-th-th-that's all, Bitches!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - 1987 Emperor Palpatine: [to Darth Vader on the phone, regarding the Death Star's destruction] Build another one? Oh yeah, that's real fucking original! And who's gonna give me a loan, jackhole, you? You got an ATM in that torso Lite-Brite? Now get your 7-foot-2 asthmatic ass back here, or else I'll tell everyone what a whiney bitch you were about Padamamay or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is! Emperor Palpatine: Oh jeez, he's crying! Emperor Palpatine: Hey, hey, hey, come on don't do that, just... look, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now. Death star blown up by a bunch of fucking teenagers, you know? I didn't mean to snap. Just get back here. Okay, okay, bye. I... ye... I... I love you too.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - 1987 Ted Turner: [dressed as Captain Planet] Protect the environment, or I'll fucking kill you! Captain Planet!
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - 1987 Emperor Palpatine: Huh? What do you mean "they blew up the Death Star"? Emperor Palpatine: Fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Emperor Palpatine: Who's "they"? Emperor Palpatine: What the hell is an "Aluminum Falcon"?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - 1987 Emperor Palpatine: So I threw the senate at him... the whole senate! True story.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Celebrity Rocket Lindsay Lohan: I'm Lindsay Lohan... Lo-hon... Lowon... I'm Lois Lane!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Celebrity Rocket Hilary Duff: [in a Parody of Highlander] He's dead, as are the Olsen Twins, I even decapitated my sister Haylie, Though she didn't have any powers now it was really awkward to explain to Mom and Dad, Only you and I remain. Lindsay Lohan: You Bitch! Hilary Duff: Watch it Lohan, we can't fight on Holy ground.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Easter Basket Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barney boy, this is the life. Barney Rubble: You said it, Fred. An entire civilization not wearing underwear. You've gotta love it.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Easter Basket Barney Rubble: Witnesses! The dishwasher... Octopus: My goodness cretaceous! Barney Rubble: The record player... Bird: He's off his rocker! Barney Rubble: The bidet! Turtle: Oh, man, the things I've witnessed!
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Easter Basket Lego Servant: Uh, your majesty? We're officially out of Legos. Lots of Duplo blocks, though. Lego Pharoh: Duplo?! I'll Duplo you in the nutbag!

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