Deputy Trudy Wiegel

Reno 911!

- Character Guide

Characters: #2 of 8 (Full List)

+ Add to My Characters

Played by:

Kerri Kenney

« Back to Character Profile

Deputy Trudy Wiegel Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Raineesha X Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Why are you wearing that thing on your head? Deputy Raineesha Williams: This thing on my head is called a "Burka" and I am exercising my religious freedom, all right? I stand before you Raineesha X, all praise is due to Allah! Deputy Travis Junior: [dives to the floor in fear] Lieutenant Jim Dangle: It's from the Homeland-Security training. Deputy Travis Junior: I'm sorry, I thought she was gonna ... Lieutenant Jim Dangle: No, no, good instinct. Deputy James Garcia: She don't have a bomb. Lieutenant Jim Dangle: No, no, she didn't have a [clicks tongue and pantomimes pressing detonator with thumb]
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Raineesha X Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thanks to the Nation of Islam... I'm free. Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Is this gonna be a problem doing your job now that you're... Nation of Muslim? Deputy Raineesha Williams: Don't be aggressive with me, okay? Lieutenant Jim Dangle: I wasn't being aggressive. Deputy Raineesha Williams: Don't hate me 'cause I've found the truth. And now that my eyes are open, ha, you can't have me, 'cause, see, I was had, I was took. I been hoodwinked, bamboozled. Y'all have run amok! Deputy S. Jones: Hornswoggled. Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thank you, brother. Deputy S. Jones: Fandangled. Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thank you. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Titty-boozled. Deputy Raineesha Williams: No. Deputy Clementine Johnson: Well, I support you, sister. Deputy Raineesha Williams: I'm not your sister, cracker jack. Deputy Clementine Johnson: Whatever.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Fireworks Deputy Trudy Wiegel: My job as an officer is to make sure you kids are safe, but, truth be told, I can't be everywhere at once. I don't care if you're wearing a short skirt, I don't care if you're wearing dungarees, I don't care if you smell bad, I don't care if you're fun to be around. But you can be rest assured that everyone of you, at some point is gonna be raped. It happens, hey, I'm not happy about it. But, there is some good news: Can you imagine going to your doctor and you say, "I've been raped", and he goes, "Oh my God that's horrible", and then he says, "but guess what", - pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; "You're pregnant, and you're having triplets". Oh my God! And then you go "Oh my God!", and I freak out and I call everybody. Umm... that hasn't happened to me - hasn't happened to me, yet.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I'm going to beat the living crap out of you.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Now, I don't care if you wear mini-skirts. I don't care if you wear Dungarees. I don't care if you're good at basketball, I don't care if you're fun to be around. But you can rest assured that every one of you, at some point, is going to be raped.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: If I'm addicted to anything, it's sparklers.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy James Garcia: Oh, God, call for help. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Help. Help. Deputy James Garcia: Use your goddamn radio.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What if I said, "Which nigger took the last donut?" Lt. Jim Dangle: That is wildly inappropriate.
	Unknown Episode: Terry: I heard a rumor. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What's that, Ter? Terry: Mexican werewolves are coming up from Mexico and selling crack.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Travis Junior: [the gang has changed a Ten Commandments statue to a list of "Top 10 Reasons Why It's Cool To Be A Cop"] The court's okay with this? Lt. Jim Dangle: Court's okay with it, State Department's okay. [Looks upward] Not even God can mess with us now! You hear that? Lt. Jim Dangle: [cut to the next week's morning meeting] We're being sued by Worldwide Pants, David Letterman's company. Deputy Travis Junior: Too many lawyers, man. Lt. Jim Dangle: This is a prime example of... Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Too many lawyers and not enough chefs.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Travis Junior: Allrighty. A tall cold one for the tall hot one. Deputy Travis Junior: What'd I miss? Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You're mad, aren't you? Well... maybe I will fucking try and kill myself now! You're all disappointed... that I didn't try and kill myself! Well, I'll make you happy this time! I'm gonna go jump in the fucking ocean! Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Fuck you, cocksuckers! Fuck you! Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Fuck you, all right? Fuck you. I'm jumping in the ocean! Deputy Travis Junior: What did I miss? Deputy Clementine Johnson: She can't find her way to the ocean. Lt. Jim Dangle: She can't find her way to her car.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: "F" you, "F" you, Deputy Trudy Wiegel: And fuck you.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: [discussing Dangle's promotion] There are women who prance around in these flitty, flirty little skirts and show their legs, and they get promoted day two. Poor Jim has been here a long time in those plum smugglers and he's about due.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Clemmy's unborn child is hopefully going to be a bastard, because... I'll tell ya, I've seen some of the men that she's spent time with and A: half of them are not... you know, white. And B: the other half are, uh, no more than above a fifth grade education.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: It really upsets me to hear what the other deputies say about Craig, but he cares for me. He told me that... he would cut my head off and eat it, if I ever needed him to. That's love, I'm sorry. He didn't need to say the L-word.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: There is some racial tension on the squad, and I mean, I think it's normal. But I think, unfortunatly, it all comes from one guy, Officer Garcia. And I mean, the poor guy can't help it, he's Mexican.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Williams: [in the locker room] The women on the force, have to get alone. I mean, we're the minorities. We got to stick together, sisterhood, girl power, all that jazz. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: [to the camera] Rainesha Williams... is a loudmouth, backstabbing... Jew. I wanna say Jew, but I think she's in fact very openly Catholic, which I have a problem with, too. Deputy Clementine Johnson: [in the locker room] I had a saying before I came to work here that feminism is bullshit. But I feel a sisterhood with these special, special people. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: [to the camera] Officer Johnson... is a whore.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Lt. Dangle and I have a very special relationship. We're like a brother and sister... except a brother and sister who have sex.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Clementine Johnson: [to a half naked man on top of a building] You got a whole half life left, and there are a lot of people who don't know you... I don't know what to say anymore! Deputy Trudy Wiegel: [from the car] Excuse me, I accidentally locked myself in the car!
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: As far as joining the FBI is concerned, let me put it this way. I failed a test to get in a book club.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Travis Junior: Who's Garcia's partner today? Lt. Jim Dangle: Not it. Deputy Travis Junior: Not it. Deputy Clementine Johnson: Not it. Lt. Jim Dangle: Trudy. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What'd I win? Lt. Jim Dangle: You're with Garcia today.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I myself have had many "daydreams" about punching Garcia myself. I've actually had daydreams of stabbing Garcia... in the daytime. In front of people.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You know what, f you. F you, and fuck you!
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I don't go to your job and tell you, "You're goin' to hell."
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What are you doin out here today, Terry? Terry: What? Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What are you doin out here today? Terry: Just out... watching over stuff. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Mmk. Looks like maybe you're doin a little uhh prostitution out here today, Terry, is that possible? Terry: No, no I'm not. I'm sooo not. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, are you on anything today? Terry: I'm not. I quit. I don't even... I don't even drink. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You seem a little jittery right now, Terry. Are you trying to tell me you're not on any substances? Terry: I had skittles. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You're jittery from skittles? Terry: Yes. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: [looking at Terry's eyes] Interesting. You're eyes are real dialated and they seem sort of joggin around a little bit. Terry: Well have you ever had skittles? It's all sugar.
	Unknown Episode: Reverend Gigg LeCarp: Okay, Officer Garcia. God has asked me to speak to you because you are lost. You are lost. Deputy Williams: He is evil. Reverend Gigg LeCarp: We're hearing it even from the choir! You are lost and evil. Deputy Clementine Johnson: And he's a loser! Reverend Gigg LeCarp: You are lost, evil, and a loser. Come on, everyone, what are thing that we just don't like about Officer Garcia? Deputy Trudy Wiegel: He's a Mexican!
	Unknown Episode: Reverend Gigg LeCarp: [the gang are all in a cell, and Rev LeCarp is yelling at Garcia for beating him 10 years ago] You motherfucker! You cocksucker! You kicked the shit out of me! [Points to his false teeth] Look at these teeth! Look at it! Aw, fuck you! Fucking rot in hell, cocksucker! [He goes out of the cell and locks it] What are you gonna do now, Garica, huh? [Leaves] Payback's a bitch! You kicked the shit out of me! Lt. Jim Dangle: [Trying to open the door] The door's locked. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: We're probably in a, in a commercial break. Deputy Travis Junior: He's flipping us the bird outside right now. [LeCarp does flip everyone off as he runs away] Lt. Jim Dangle: When's the new jailer getting here? Deputy Travis Junior: Tuesday. Three day weekend. Lt. Jim Dangle: Aw... we had to do this on a Friday. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I got even worse news for everyone, I have to take a Number Two. [Everyone yells in protest] Deputy Williams: You gonna hold it in like the rest of us! Lt. Jim Dangle: Number One's only! Number One's only!
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Everybody loves a cripple.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Officer Smiley reminds me of someone from Mary Poppins... someone who for instance comes riding in on a jalopy and he has whipped ices for all the little children and he says "come along everyone I have whipped ices" [Dangle nods in agreement next to her] And then when they get close enough to him he grabs them and rapes the shit out of them. [Dangle stops smiling and sits still in shock] Then he tosses them in the back seat and off he goes and then [In a British accent] 'chip chip cheerio.
	Unknown Episode: Deputy Clementine Johnson: We should go down to Hooker Heaven and see if we can round up some girls there. Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Is that the new bagel place?

« previous12 next »

Previous: Lieutenant Jim Dangle

Next: Deputy Clementine Johnson

» Back to Reno 911! TV Show