Reaper Quotes

Reaper

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 9: - No Reaper Left Behind Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: If I feel the urge to trade my dignity for a little drowsy nasty I'll listen to Jewel or hit the porn drawer
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - The Good Soil Ben Gonzalez: Sometimes you gotta look reality in the face and say no!
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Cancun Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Three dudes in a tent. Sexy.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Rebellion The Devil: What? You don't like banana splits? What are you - some kind of commie?
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Rebellion The Devil: Who says "no" to ice cream?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Cash Out Ben Gonzalez: Well, is there any way you can prove she's not the Devil's daugher? Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: 666 Sam Oliver: What? Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: 666 is the mark of the devil. If Cady is the Devil's daughter, she'll have that mark on her body. It's from that movie, The Omen. Ben Gonzalez: Well it's actually from the book of Revelations. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: They stole that? Why can't anything be original anymore?
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Leon Leon: Tell me about your childhood. Sam Oliver: My parents sold my soul to the devil.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Leon The Devil: I invented therapy so that the wicked could justify their actions.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Sam Oliver: See that guy over there? I just had a strange vision of him stabbing me. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: I just ate a strange cupcake.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Sam Oliver: The paint mixer rodeo! That's one angry looking bull. You sure you're ready for this? Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: This is not my first time in the rodeo, Sam.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Gravity's my bitch!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Ted: What can you tell me about this can of wasted paint? Andi: It's leaking onto your desk.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Ted: Well, congratulations, you have just incurred the wrath of Ted.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Sam Oliver: Don't you have minions down in hell to keep track of these things? Like who's escaped recently? I don't know how it works, come on. Devil: Minions. You know who works for me in my central office? White collar criminals. They hate me. They hate their jobs. I'm lucky if I get coffee in the morning.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Sam Oliver: God, you sound like Ted. Devil: Oh, that was harsh. Ted is a real douche bag.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Ted: What, are you talking to yourself again, Sam? That is a sad, sad state of affairs, my friend. Because no one answers. Ever.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Ben: My dad's super allergic, you know, I couldn't have any pets, so this little guy fills that void. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: You said I filled that void, Ben.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Ben: I'm worried about Winston. He's innocent in all this. Sam Oliver: What about me, man? I'm an innocent. You're not feeding me pretzels and nestling me on your breast. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Okay, that's just gross.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Sam Oliver: You put the contract for my soul with my third grade report card, and Mr Huggles?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Ben: You're one freaky ass bird, who scared the crap out of me and now I can't be comfortable around birds ever again. I hope you know that.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Devil: I never drink while I'll work. Clouds the mind. Sam Oliver: Maybe if you drank you'd be less of a dick.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Beta males are in right now.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Sam Oliver: What is Ted doing? Andi: I put a note on his windshield. Says sorry, I hit your car. Sam Oliver: You hit Ted's car? Andi: Nope Sam Oliver: Who did? Andi: No one. But he's been looking for the damage for over ten minutes now.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Magic Devil: Life is too short to drink American beer!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - All Mine Ted: I see a spark of the old me in you, you know that? Sam Oliver: Please don't say that, Ted. Ted: And that's why I am prepared to promote you to assistant manager of the plumbing department. What do you think of that, if that happens? Sam Oliver: I think I want to stab myself.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - All Mine Sam Oliver: You stole mail? Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Yeah. Ben: Sock, that's a felony. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Well come on now, there's a fine line between a felony and doing something really super cool. Ben: That's true.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - All Mine Sam Oliver: Great, we need a password. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Oh, ah, try grumpy. It's a little pet name we had for, uh ... Sam Oliver: I don't want to know. Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: A cat that we had, sicko. God. No, I was just kidding. It was totally the name for my junk.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - All Mine Devil: Get the girl. Get the soul. I don't care which, man, just pull that trigger. I'm tired of coddling you. Sam Oliver: You call what you put me through "coddling"? Devil: Oh, Sam. You have no idea.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - All Mine Sam Oliver: I think my brain just broke a little.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - All Mine Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Never tell crazy that you're in it for the sex!

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