![]() | Season 5 / Episode 13: - Episode 513 Michael: [last line of the series] So the thumpa-thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's President. As Our Lady of Disco, the Divine Miss Gloria Gaynor, has always sung to us, "We will survive." |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 13: - Episode 513 Michael: They say that change is good for you, that it keeps you on your toes. Well, if that's true, I should be a fuckin ballerina. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 11: - Episode 511 Brian: You won't marry me. Who could blame you? I am, without a doubt, the worst candidate for marriage alive. But, conversely, that's also the reason that I'm the best candidate. Justin: And how's that? Brian: Because as strongly as I was opposed to the idea, now that I'm behind it, I am as fervently and passionately committed. Justin: Uh-huh. And what changed your mind? Brian: I finally thought of one good reason to do it. Justin: And what is that one good reason? Brian: To prove to the person that I love how much I love him. That I would give anything, I would do anything, I'd be anything... to make him happy. Justin: You're fucking unbelievable. Brian: It's true. I am. Justin: You, you bought this. You bought this palace. Brian: It's for my prince. I'm also selling the loft, and the club. Justin: Without even knowing what my answer would be? Brian: I'm taking a chance on love. Justin: ...Then you mean it. Brian: I've never meant anything more. Justin: Ok. Brian: Ok? Justin: Let's do it. Brian: Say it. Justin: Yes! Brian: Yes what? Justin: Yes. Yes, I will marry you. I will marry you. Justin: What? Don't tell me you're already having second thoughts. Brian: Not one. |
![]() | Season 5 / Episode 5: - Episode 505 Brian: You may have found the needle but locating the haystack's gonna be a bitch. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 9: - Episode 409 Emmett: [to Drew, talking about football] You know, I can't see the difference between how you play your game on Sunday afternoons, and how I play my games on Saturday nights. Emmett: [Drew tackles him] ...this also isn't that much different from my Saturday nights. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 4: - Episode 404 Brian: Listen to me! Are you listening? Ted: I'm listening. Brian: You may be a pathetic drug addict who's lost everything; your dignity, your livelihood, your lover, your good name, the respect and trust of everyone you know... Ted: No one gives a pep talk like you, Brian! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 4: - Episode 404 Preacher: It was so good to have you young men in our service tonight. Justin: It was *very* inspiring. Preacher: Give God the glory. Cody Bell: Mind if I ask you a question, Pastor? Preacher: Please. Cody Bell: This book [holds up Bible] - you have to believe all of it, not just some of it, right? Preacher: That's right. Cody Bell: So... do you like shrimp? Preacher: Well, as a matter of fact, I do. Cody Bell: Because in Leviticus - a few scriptures before that man lying with man is an abomination one - it also says it's an abomination to eat shellfish. And... shrimp are shellfish, right? Preacher: What's your point young man? Cody Bell: I believe the point is, if you can eat shrimp, we can eat cock. Preacher: [awkward silence] Son, you need the lord. You need to accept Jesus. Cody Bell: Oh, I accept Jesus. It's assholes like you I have a problem with. |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 3: - Episode 403 Justin: The Pink Posse. We're protecting Liberty Avenue from homophobes. In case you weren't aware, there was a bashing. Jennifer Taylor: I'm perfectly aware! I'm also aware that you were bashed! Justin: All the more reason! Jennifer Taylor: To put yourself at risk? Haven't you been through enough? Justin: [yells] Don't fucking tell me what to do! Brian: Hey, take it easy, Timberlake! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 3: - Episode 403 Justin: Hey. Jennifer Taylor: Christ! What did you do to your hair? Justin: It's called a haircut, Mother! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 3: - Episode 403 Michael: What are you doing reading comic books? Hunter: Duh! I'm in a fucking comic book store! Michael: Well, you should be doing your homework! And watch your mouth! [pauses for a moment] Holy shit! Hunter: What? What's the matter? Michael: Did you hear me? I sounded just like my mother! |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 1: - Episode 401 Jennifer Taylor: It's a special place. Brian: 'Special' as in 'unique, fabulous, one-of-a-kind' or 'special' as in 'there are schools that can teach me to dress myself'? |
![]() | Season 4 / Episode 1: - Episode 401 Justin: You and half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly in your bed knowing the loft is yours. Brian: Half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly in their own beds tonight. [kisses Justin on the cheek] |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 14: - Episode 314 Justin: Jesus Christ Brian... now you don't even have a car. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 14: - Episode 314 Brian: [to Hunter] I've lived with a mother, it's a fate worse than birth. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 14: - Episode 314 Justin: [after finding out that Brian spent all his money in a campaign against Stockwell] I can't believe you did this! It's so... Brian: Noble? Justin: Out of character! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 14: - Episode 314 Hunter: [when Michael and Hunter are running from his mother] If you guys stop to fuck, I'm screwed! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 13: - Episode 313 James 'Hunter' Montgomery: What are you bothering with that for? How much is he charging you? Brian Kinney: [looking over at Justin] A hundred bucks? Justin Taylor: Mhm. He refuses to pay though. James 'Hunter' Montgomery: I don't blame him! I wouldn't give you 10 bucks! Brian Kinney: [pushing Hunter out the door] Okay, I think it's time someone was tucked into bed! And not mine! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 13: - Episode 313 Michael: We'll if it isn't little Mary Sunshine. Emmett: Little Mary Sunshine died! I'm a little Mary Go-FUCK-Yourself! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 12: - Episode 312 Debbie: [holds up a cheese doodle] Horvath is like a cheese doodle. Vic: [gasps] You told me was well-endowed! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 12: - Episode 312 Justin: Look at all these old guys. Brian: Sad, isn't it? Justin: Yeah. Some of them are even older than you are. But I guess at their age if you want it, you gotta pay for it. Brian: Another reason to die young. Justin: Or to accept the fact that youth and beauty are fleeting. That time will inevitably leave its mark, and that we should accept our mortality with grace and dignity. Justin: Until then I could really clean up in this place. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 9: - Episode 309 Justin: You were right. Brian showed me he loved me. Every day. Even though he never said it. Even though he never will. I just didn't want to hear it. Michael: Well it's always nice to be right. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 8: - Episode 308 Justin: And you're so smart? If you had any fucking brains at all you never would have let me leave. You would have told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life, that I would regret it as long as I live. You would have told me that what you gave me was a thousand...a million times better than anything he had to offer. You would have told me you loved me. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 8: - Episode 308 Brian: [after Justin's been fired] You wanted to see me? Justin: [not only talking about the job] I gave it some thought and I decided you should take me back. Brian: Oh? Justin: Even though I've made a few mistakes, I think you'd be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance. Brian: I see. Justin: 'Cause now I understand what you want it is you want of me...and I know what I can expect from you. Brian: You also understand that you'll be required to work long...hard hours...sometimes deep into the night? Justin: It'll be a pleasure to work under you...sir. Brian: ...And you're *never* to play violin music in my presence again. Justin: I promise. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 8: - Episode 308 Hunter: [emerges from bathroom] Okay, who wants to fuck me first? Ben: That's not why we brought you up here. Hunter: Then what do you want? Michael Charles Novotny: For you not to get killed. Hunter: Big loss if I did. I'm going back to work. Ben: Not with that. [indicates Hunters bruises] Michael Charles Novotny: Someone should probably look at it. Hunter: I'll try to pick up a doctor. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Episode 307 Lindsay: [standing outside the bathroom] You're not supposed to test everytime you tinkle! Melanie: Says who? Lindsay: [laughing] You have to let Mother Nature take her course in her own sweet time! Melanie: [poking her head out of the bathroom] Easy for her to say! She's already a mother! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Episode 307 Vic: I thought I'd make a turducken. Michael: A what? Vic: Turducken. You take chicken, you stuff it up a duck, then stuff that up a turkey. Debbie: Kind of like a three-way, but with poultry! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Episode 307 Vic: Eggplant. Vic: I mean, is this not a thing of beauty? Touch it, stroke it. Michael: Insert it? |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Episode 307 Justin: [after finding out about Ethan cheating on him... ripping up the roses from their date] I wanna be with someone who only wants to be with me... someone I can be with forever. Crock of shit. Ethan: I meant it. Justin: Yeah, I'm sure you did the second you were saying it. Ethan: Christ, look what you're doing to your hands. Justin: Oh, so fucking what. You're a *liar.* Ethan: I didn't want to hurt you. Justin: That is so laughably, so pathetically lame, I am not even gonna comment on it... try something else. Ethan: I was... I was covering my ass. Justin: That's better... go on. Ethan: I was alone, you weren't there... Justin: Now it's my fault. Ethan: That's not what I mean. I missed you. Justin: So, since you couldn't bare to be without me for one fucking night, you decide to pick up some drooling admirer? Ethan: Basically, yes. Justin: So tell me, Mr. Gold, as a last minute replacement, how'd he do? Did he kneel at your feet and worship your huge talent? Did he marvel at your magnificent fingering? Th-th-the way you stroke your bow, leave him breathless? Ethan: It was one stupid mistake! Look how many times you forgave Brian! Justin: [throwing the rest of the tattered roses on the ground] I *never* forgave Brian! I never had to... because he never promised me anything. You did. [walks away and takes of the promise Ethan gave him] Ethan: I need you. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. Justin: Oh, I'm sure you'll survive. After all you still have your music. That's the only thing you ever really loved. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Episode 307 Brian: [Emmett has come to beg Brian to help Ted] You might have called first. Emmett: If I had, you would've been in a meeting, right? So, this is the inner sanctum of the great god Kinney. Where men's fates are decided. Brian: What, did Theodore send you down here to throw yourself on my mercy? Emmett: He has no idea I'm here, and I have no intention of throwing myself at your mercy, or anything else for that matter. Brian: What a relief! I can come out from behind the desk! [walks to door and opens it] Emmett: You realize, of course, there's a very good chance he'll go to jail. Brian: Well tell him to look on the bright side. At least he'll get fucked regularly. Emmett: [walks to the door and closes it again] I suppose that's meant to be witty. We all know about your charming sense of humour but we also know that deep down, you care about us, even though you'd never admit it. Which is why I've come... Brian: I've already told Ted there's nothing I can do... Emmett: I know what you told him. I also know what you think about Teddy and me, that we're just a couple of silly queens setting up house, that it'll never work. Well, there was a time when I would've thought exactly the same thing. But miracle of miracles, I have never been happier in my entire life. And you want to know why? Because he gives me love, and respect. And now it is my turn to give him something back. Now I swore to myself this wasn't going to wind up an old Lana turner movie, but it looks like that's the direction it's headed, so I'm going to make Lana proud. Please, Brian I am begging you. Help him. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 5: - Episode 305 Lindsay: Jesus Brian, you know how Stockwell feels about gay people. How could you sell your soul to the devil? Brian: I haven't sold my soul, I'm just billing for time and expenses. |















