Henry Spencer

Psych

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Corbin Bernsen
Rugged, hirsutely handsome Corbin Bernsen blazed to TV stardom in 1986 on _"L.A. Law" (1986)_ (qv) as ...

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Henry Spencer Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 16: - An Evening with Mr. Yang Henry Spencer: [sitting outside the car where Madeleine has a bomb strapped to her] Maddy? Madeleine Spencer: Henry? Henry Spencer: Yeah, it's me, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. Madeleine Spencer: All right. Then I won't either. Besides, I don't really have anything better to do right now.
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - Tuesday the 17th Henry Spencer: Hey Shawn! Over here, buddy. Hey, how about a big hello for your old man, you haven't seen in a week. Young Shawn: Hi, old man. Can we go now.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Any Given Friday Night at 10PM, 9PM Central Henry Spencer: We got the game ball! Young Shawn: I got the game ball.
	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Earth, Wind and...Wait for It Henry Spencer: Can you even name a famous fireman? Young Shawn: ...Smokey the Bear? Henry Spencer: First of all, Smokey the Bear is not a fireman. Number two, he's not real. Number three, HE'S A BEAR! He takes his poops in the woods, is that what you want?
	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Earth, Wind and...Wait for It Henry Spencer: I warned you Shawn, fire fighters are trouble. I did everything in my power to keep you off of the pole! Shawn Spencer: And you succeeded dad... in every conceivable way.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Christmas Joy Henry Spencer: Yeah, well, fooling around with your best friend's sister certainly wasn't your most brilliant idea. Shawn Spencer: No, that was the toaster alarm I invented in the third grade that woke you up by smacking you in the face with a waffle. [pause] I think I peaked too soon.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - There Might Be Blood Henry Spencer: I think I got a friend over here, Captain Dale, might be able to help you out. Course you'll have to do some chores. Shawn Spencer: Chores?
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! Henry Spencer: I'm a taxpaying, voting citizen, therefore I have a right to speak to any elected official, such as the D.A., I please. Shawn Spencer: [to Gus] You don't have to be a taxpaying, voting citizen, though, do you?
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! Burton 'Gus' Guster: [undercover in ugly, 1970's-era clothing] I feel ridiculous. Henry Spencer: Speak for yourself. I've got this shirt at home.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! Shawn Spencer: All right, how much money do we have between us? Henry Spencer: What? Oh, uhhhh... I got - I think I've got about... fifty bucks. Shawn Spencer: Um-hmm. Burton 'Gus' Guster: I got about four hundred between my wallet and my sock. Burton 'Gus' Guster: [Shawn and Henry stare at Gus] It's my "just in case" money! Shawn Spencer: All right. Add in what I have, and we've got about... four-fifty.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! Henry Spencer: [wants to see a case folder] You're lucky I'm even asking you, Shawn. I could do this the simple way. I could grab it from you, clean up any evidence of a struggle before you and your little friend here knew what hit ya! Shawn Spencer: In some states, that's called child abuse. Burton 'Gus' Guster: I think all of them.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! D.A. Assistant: May I help you? Shawn Spencer: Yes. My name is Shawn Spencer, I am the head psychic for the Santa Barbara Police Department. And that is my partner... Henry Spencer: [impatiently] Yeah, yeah, that's his partner, Methuselah Honeysuckle, which makes me Old Scratch Johnson.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! Henry Spencer: So what kind of wood are we gonna use for these bookshelves, Gus? Burton 'Gus' Guster: Uhhh... cypress. Shawn Spencer: Cypress? Really? Burton 'Gus' Guster: It's a good wood. It's what Noah's Ark was made of.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered! Burton 'Gus' Guster: Enough! I'm sick of you two fighting all the time. Look, Mr. Spencer, Shawn needs you on the case because, frankly, you're old, and we were barely even alive during the seventies. Shawn, your dad needs you on the case because even though you can be extremely annoying, you actually have a brilliant idea every now and then. But you're both too damn stubborn to admit that you need each other. Now, can we go, please? Thank you. Henry Spencer: Is it he always such a know-it-all? Shawn Spencer: You don't know the half of it. Very preachy.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable Henry Spencer: [in his answering machine message] You've reached Henry Spencer. Leave your name and number, but speak slowly because people talk too fast in these things and I can never understand it.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable Henry Spencer: [in an interrogation room] Don't say a word. Shawn Spencer: [pause] Fergulous.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable Karen Vick: Now, Mr. Spencer... Shawn Spencer, Henry Spencer: Yes? Karen Vick: Oh, I meant the older... sorry, not "old", less... Shawn Spencer: Handsome? Less hair? Less friends on Facebook? Henry Spencer: Less nose? Shawn Spencer: Ooh!
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable Jack Spencer: I guess you are wondering why I came back. I want you to help me find Bouchard's treasure. Henry Spencer: Come on. Not that again, Jack. I hate to break it to you, little brother, but Bouchard's treasure does not, has not, and will not ever exist. It's a pipe dream. Shawn Spencer: Don't listen to him, Uncle Jack. He's a dream killer.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable Henry Spencer: We didn't do anything wrong. We didn't break any laws... Oh no. Oh no! What - what did you do, Shawn? Shawn Spencer: Nothing. It's just that laws keep changing. It's getting very challenging to keep up with them all.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable Henry Spencer: What are you doing here, besides breaking into my house? Jack Spencer: Breaking in? You gave me a key, Henry. Henry Spencer: I didn't give you a key. I don't give anyone keys, not even Shawn. Shawn Spencer: Oh, that's not true. I actually made a copy a while back. It was while I was hooked on Wow! Wow! Wobbzy! on Noggin. I didn't have cable. Oh, I also stole your toilet paper for about a year. And a hug box of sporks.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Murder?...Anyone?...Anyone?...Bueller? Henry Spencer: Life is not made up of a single moment, it's made up of a gazillion moments. What defines us is the choice we make in the next moment, and the one after that. These moments, Shawn, they're happening, they're all around us all the time. You're having one right now.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Murder?...Anyone?...Anyone?...Bueller? Madeleine: [proudly, after listening to Shawn's summation] Oh, Henry! We must have done something right. Henry Spencer: That was all you. Madeleine: You know that's not true.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Ghosts Shawn Spencer: Whoops. Henry Spencer: Whoops? Shawn's Girlfriend: It's my neighbor's car. We were gonna put it back. It was just a dare. Shawn Spencer: Is there a problem here, officer? Henry Spencer: You wanted my attention, Shawn. You got it, buddy. Shawn's Girlfriend: Wait. You guys know each other? Henry Spencer: Yeah, he's sorta my dad.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Ghosts Henry Spencer: You want me to give you a hand, hon? Madeleine: Did you just call me "honey"? Henry Spencer: [quickly] I did not. I was going to say... hunchback.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Ghosts Shawn Spencer: [sizing up Henry] The aftershave. The pumiced scalp. The suit. Henry Spencer: I can wear a suit! Shawn Spencer: Which one of the Three Tenors did you borrow it from? Not the dead one, I hope.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion Shawn Spencer: Look, I don't care what you do, okay? I don't care! I just don't want to hear about it. So don't call me on the phone, asking me for advice... and don't expect me to meet you and your new dominatrix girlfriend for dinner! Henry Spencer: Kid, this isn't easy for me, either.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion Henry Spencer: Thanks for coming, son. Shawn Spencer: You said it was important. Shawn Spencer: Clearly, you're about to shoot an Old Spice commercial.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion Henry Spencer: [about his upcoming date] Should I take her to Crab Shack Willy's or The Third Wharf? Shawn Spencer: Those can't possibly be real places.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Dis-Lodged Shawn Spencer: I want the truth. What really happened to my cat Chairman Meow? Henry Spencer: You want answers? Shawn Spencer: I want the truth! Henry Spencer: You can't handle the truth!
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Dis-Lodged Henry Spencer: I'm not a pet-killer, Shawn. Chairman Meow is living very happily in a retirement home in Ojai. And I don't want to burst your bubble, but Chairman Meow...is Chairwoman Meow.

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