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Fun Facts:» Trivia» Quotes » Goofs |
 | Season 1 / Episode 5: - Gary Breaks Up His Ex-Wife and Girlfriend Allison Brooks: The Russian poet Shovasokinit? Gary Brooks: Yes, and his wife Offenisabitch. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 4: - Gary Gets His Stuff Back Gary Brooks: Hey Louise. How was your day? Louise Brooks: Terrible. Remember when I wrote that letter to the E.P.A. about toxic insulation in our school? Gary Brooks: [shakes his head "No"] Yeah, honey, you right a lot of letters. Louise Brooks: Well, it's gonna cost the school $50,000 to fix it, so they're cancelling the Art program! Gary Brooks: How was your day, Tommy? Tom Brooks: Great! I just found out I don't have to take Art, so... |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - Gary Gets His Stuff Back Gary Brooks: Argh! Oh my gosh, the divorce agreement: the piece of paper that stipulates that you always get the upper-hand, and I get the finger! |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - Gary Gets His Stuff Back Gary Brooks: You know, I wish you would stop bringing up that stupid divorce agreement, because I signed it under duress. Allison Brooks: Oh, how were you under duress? Gary Brooks: They said if I didn't sign it, I'd have to stay married to you! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 2: - Gary Gets Boundaries Vanessa Flood: [wakes up in bed together] Good morning! Hi! Gary Brooks: Hi! Hey, didn't I paint your condo a couple weeks ago? Vanessa Flood: No, a bunch of workers painted my condo while you hit on me. Gary Brooks: You know what, those workers are living the American dream: show up on time, you work hard, and just maybe... your boss will get laid. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Gary Gets Boundaries Gary Brooks: [in pain after a night of sex, knock on door] Oh, please let that be a door-to-door chiropractor. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Gary Gets Boundaries Gary Brooks: [about his ex-wife at the door] I know what she wants, she already has my left one. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Gary Gets Boundaries Allison Brooks: [at her house] Were you in my hot tub? Gary Brooks: No, I was in *my* hot tub, that *I* built, with *my* hands, on *my* patio! Allison Brooks: Uh, that *my* lawyer was able to get from, *your* friend, who went to law school, on the *internet*! |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - Gary Gets Boundaries Dr. Walter Krandall: [Louise and Krandall show up at Gary's door in bike helmets] Allison asked if I could pick Tom and Louise up from school. Gary Brooks: Great! Where's Tom? Dr. Walter Krandall: Unfortunately, I only had enough room on my bike for one. Tom Brooks: [stumbles in the door out of breath] Ak. He made me run behind him! That's *not* the definition of being *picked up* at all! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gary Brooks: [about her butt-tattoo] Please! Let me see it, please! Vanessa Flood: You've already seen it! Gary Brooks: Yeah, but - but I've never seen it in the light. I'll show it a great deal of respect. I promise. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Vanessa Flood: I don't know. I spend one night with you, and you want to take me away for the weekend? I must have been pretty amazing. Gary Brooks: Until I check the video tape from last night I won't know for sure. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Allison Brooks: [had the kids over his weekend] I kept them because we were doing a two-hour juice cleanse and I knew you wouldn't honor it. Gary Brooks: Probably not. No, when my kids are starving, I - I tend to *feed* them... Sorry if that makes me the *fun* parent. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gary Brooks: Hey kids, throw away your books, get rid of your toothbrushes - your with Daddy now. |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Allison Brooks: [Gary asks why she must quote psycho-babble to the kids] Because, children of divorce are more likely to struggle in their own relationships. There's an entire chapter on it in "Rules for a Perfect Divorce". The book Dr. Krandall gave both of us to read. *God* you haven't even opened yours, have you! Gary Brooks: I don't have to read it, I have the *audio* version seated on my couch! |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Allison Brooks: Have - have you noticed that Tommy is scared to death of girls? Gary Brooks: He should be afraid of girls! They pretend to like you, and then they take all your stuff! |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Allison Brooks: [she and Dr. Krandall are encouraging Tommy to explore "Second Life" to meet girls] It's an online society, Gary. Okay? It's a safe place for him to meet other teens. Gary Brooks: Yeah, and maybe a Congressman! |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Gary Brooks: [to Tommy on the computer] Hey, look at that, "Second Life" Wow, that's pretty cool. You know we, uh, we didn't have anything like that when I was a kid. We had, uh, - outside. |
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