Ted Olson

Police Squad!

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Played by:

Ed Williams

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Episode Screenshots

Season 1, Episode 03	Season 1, Episode 05
Season 1, Episode 01	Season 1, Episode 02

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Ted Olson Quotes

01x04 - Revenge and Remorse (The Guilty Alibi)

Season 1 / Episode 4: - Revenge and Remorse (The Guilty Alibi)

Ted Olson: [attempting to hold a cat underwater] So you see Katie, fish have gills to extract oxygen from water. But air breathing species have lungs which are equipped only to accept oxygen in its natural state. And that's why most mammals must live on land.
Katie: Wow, that's neat.

01x01 - A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)

Season 1 / Episode 1: - A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)

Ted Olson: These guns are identical to the one that killed Jim Johnson. Watch carefully as I test fire this gun into these video tapes of Barbara Walters interviews.

Ted Olson: As you can see, it completely destroys the Burt Reynolds interview, and everything from Bo Derek to Paul Newman - but only up to the point where Barbara asks him "is it difficult to love?" Now let me show you what happens when the gun is fired from three feet, which is the distance Sally claimed the shots were fired from.

Ted Olson: Notice, complete destruction, right up to the point where she asks Katharine Hepburn what kind of tree she'd like to be.

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