Ted Olson

Police Squad!

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Played by:

Ed Williams

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Episode Screenshots

Season 1, Episode 06	Season 1, Episode 01
Season 1, Episode 04	Season 1, Episode 03

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Ted Olson Quotes

01x01 - A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)

Season 1 / Episode 1: - A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)

Ted Olson: So Billy, when the moisture in the air comes in contact with the cold pitcher, it forms water droplets. What we call condensation. Just like your mother when she gets out of the shower, glistening with tiny little beads of... - oh, hi Frank.

Season 1 / Episode 1: - A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)

Ted Olson: These guns are identical to the one that killed Jim Johnson. Watch carefully as I test fire this gun into these video tapes of Barbara Walters interviews.

Ted Olson: As you can see, it completely destroys the Burt Reynolds interview, and everything from Bo Derek to Paul Newman - but only up to the point where Barbara asks him "is it difficult to love?" Now let me show you what happens when the gun is fired from three feet, which is the distance Sally claimed the shots were fired from.

Ted Olson: Notice, complete destruction, right up to the point where she asks Katharine Hepburn what kind of tree she'd like to be.

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