Opposite Sex Quotes

Opposite Sex

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Car Episode Philip W. Steffan: I don't need to see that! Kissing! Near urinals! I can't even go now. I've lost the urge.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Car Episode Philip W. Steffan: [about Jed's hickey] Ew! Kate gave you that? It looks like an eggplant.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Car Episode Miranda Mills: What is that? Jed Perry: Uh... what is what? Miranda Mills: The hickey. Jed Perry: Uh, haha, yeah, what is that? Miranda Mills: I don't even remember giving that to you! I totally didn't mean to. Jed Perry: Uh. Miranda Mills: Well, I'm glad that it's there. Jed Perry: Oh, really? Miranda Mills: Yeah, it'll be a constant reminder of what we talked about the other night. Jed Perry: Right, yeah!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Car Episode Jed Perry: You ever break up with someone? Cary Baston: What, like a girl? Jed Perry: No, like your piano teacher. Yes, like a girl!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Car Episode Kate Jacobs: Phil, I want you to kiss me. Philip W. Steffan: Eh?
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Dance Episode Cary Baston: Look, you don't have to be so mean. Philip W. Steffan: Jed, why do you that? You know how sensitive Cary is.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Dance Episode Jed Perry: You know what? I'm a man. And men do not get asked to dances, men do the asking. Cary Baston: Go! Release the beast!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Jed Perry: Did she give you a reason why she dumped you? Rob Perry: Well, it's complicated. I'm not sure you'd understand. Jed Perry: Try me. Rob Perry: I slept with her best friend.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Rob Perry: Let me tell you something. If this was Italy, we would not be having this conversation!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Jed Perry: So it's, uh, it's been confirmed. It wasn't just imaginary. She is into me. Philip W. Steffan: Well, congratulations, I guess that makes you like an official lesbian attraction. We should put a rope around you or something.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Rob Perry: She's cute. Jed Perry: Yeah, she's cute and she wants me.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Cary Baston: I just went shopping. Philip W. Steffan: [chewing] Right, I know. But Judy said that Cassie said if you don't go again... Cary Baston: Whoa whoa whoa! Are they telling you to boss me around? And you're doing it? What? What's that about? Philip W. Steffan: I thought we already went over this. Power through total submission, Cary? I have to do everything she says, and she will become dependant on me. Then I will be the master and she the slave. These are really delicious, by the way. Cary Baston: [points at shopping list] Wait. What's that? Philip W. Steffan: That is twelve boxes of tampons.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Rob Perry: I am like a beast who has been too long nosing around in the sewer. I'm turning my snout upward. I am swimming toward the sunlight!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Miranda Mills: Wow. I have never seen a pack of lesbians descend that quickly.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Jed Perry: I mean, it's fine that Beth is a lesbian and that she wants to do that whole lesbian thing, but, Kate. I don't think Kate is one. Lesbian.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Cary Baston: You know, I remember when this whole thing began, and all I wanted to was be your friend. I wanted to help her. I figured anyone who came off that hostile, underneath must be really lonely, you know, and scared. All I really wanted to do was make Cassie Schreiber feel safe. But, turns out I was wrong. Cassie Schreiber isn't scared, no no no, Cassie Schreiber is exactly what she seems: a mean, evil, double-crossing, sneaky woman! I hate her! I hope her breasts shrivel! [gasps from the crowd] Well I do!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Homosexual Episode Joely: Look, Jed, your brother. He's a certain type of guy, and that's fine. You... you're what my friends and I call a jelly donut. I mean, we're usually talking about chicks, but it still applies. With Rob, what you see is what you get, and there's always gonna be someone who only wants that. But you, you're gonna be with someone who wants more, because there's more inside you. You're gonna find someone who doesn't want things simple or easy or cut-and-dry. Someone like... Kate. Jed Perry: You said yourself, I mean, you saw the way that Kate and Beth are when they're together. Joely: I said that I saw the way Beth looks at Kate. But I also see the way Kate looks at you.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Virgin Episode Kate Jacobs: I like you, Jed. Jed Perry: Yeah, well, that's a pretty stupid reason to not sleep with me.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Virgin Episode Philip W. Steffan: Why is it so hard to believe that people might have sex at calculus camp?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Virgin Episode Miranda Mills: I'm just gonna have to put down virgin unless I hear otherwise. [Jed stops] I'm not hearing otherwise. [Jed turns and continues to walk away] Jed Perry, virgin. Jed Perry: Okay. Fine. Okay, you... I'm a virgin, okay? You are a brilliant investigative virginity reporter and you've nabbed me. I've never had sex. Miranda Mills: And can I ask why? I'm sorry, but if I'm gonna make an informed decision... Jed Perry: Fine. You know, maybe, maybe you wanna hear that it's not a choice, that I've never had the oppotunity to have sex, but that's not true. I have. Maybe you want me to say that I'm saving myself for that perfect girl and that perfect night and that perfect hotel room, but that's, that's not it either. You wanna know the truth, I'll tell you. I'm afraid that I won't be good enough at sex, okay. Making the girl feel good. That's why. I've always been good at everything, but this... I... I just wanna make sure that she feels good, that... that she feels special. Miranda Mills: Oh.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Jed Perry: I do not want to indecorously romp with anyone.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Jed Perry: One of them is a walking hormone and the other is a walking GPA!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Rob Perry: Jed, listen, it's not what you think! Jed Perry: Really? Are you sure? Because I think it was sex. Rob Perry: ...Okay. It is what you think.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Rob Perry: I have three words for you. Take. Ad. Vantage.

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