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Characters: #3 of 13 (Full List)
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 | Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Exterminating Angel Margaret Meldrew: What time is your dentist appointment this morning? Victor Meldrew: 11.30 Margaret Meldrew: Thank God for that. I've seen enough of those temporary crowns to last me a lifetime. It's like being kissed good-night by Buggs Bunny. |
| Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Exterminating Angel Margaret Meldrew: You haven't forgotten were going to Ronnie and Mildred's tonight? Victor Meldrew: I try to forget were going to Ronnie and Mildred's tonight, like you try to forget you're going to die, but it doesn't work. I wonder what hideous novelties they'll have brought back from their holidays this year? Another souvinear photograph printed on the back of a lavatory seat? I can't believe that pair sometimes. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Beast in the Cage Victor Meldrew: [complaining on being stuck for a long time in a traffic jam] I wish I was dead! Margaret Meldrew: I wish you were dead. Then we might get some peace. |
| Season 2 / Episode 2: - We Have Put Her Living in the Tomb Victor Meldrew: [talking in his sleep] Not with the pastry... Not with the pastry! Margaret Meldrew: For God's sake, shut up! Victor Meldrew: [waking up] What's the matter? Margaret Meldrew: Will you stop going on about that bloody pastry every time you fall asleep? Victor Meldrew: Pastry? Why on earth would I talk about pastry in my sleep? Margaret Meldrew: I don't know. |
| Season 2 / Episode 2: - We Have Put Her Living in the Tomb Margaret Meldrew: By the way, I meant to tell you, I got another tortoise. I took it round to them this afternoon. They don't suspect a thing, so don't you say anything, right? Let's just let sleeping dogs lie. Victor Meldrew: I rang her up this morning just after you'd gone. I told her it was dead. Margaret Meldrew: But she didn't... oh... No. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - In Luton Airport, No-one Can Hear You Scream Margaret Meldrew: That's the little café where we used to go for our breakfast. That was our last day in Athens, actually. Mrs. Warboys: Nice one of the ruins. Margaret Meldrew: I think that's the hotel. Oh! Your postcard. Which I gave to Victor to post. Mrs. Warboys: Thanks. [reads] "Arrived safe and sound. Plane trip fine apart from finding dead snake in the flight bag. Tell you all about that later." |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - In Luton Airport, No-one Can Hear You Scream Victor Meldrew: Twenty-five years it took to grow that apple tree. I planted it in the spring of 1965. Feeding it, spraying it, mulching the soil, watering it through the droughts, giving it an annual dressing of potash and hydrogen every January. Not one sodding apple. Margaret Meldrew: Come on, let's go plant another one. |
| Season 1 / Episode 6: - The Return of the Speckled Band Margaret Meldrew: So, how's the food poisoning now? Margaret Meldrew: Oh, comes and goes when it thinks it will, you know. One minute I'm fine and the next minute... unh. Margaret Meldrew: Violently sick. Mrs. Warboys: Umh. This is nice; what is it? Margaret Meldrew: Well, I got the recipe from my- Oh, how was it? Victor Meldrew: Yes, very nice, very nice with my grey coat. Margaret Meldrew: Try it more at an angle. You've got it jammed on there like an aerosol cap. You need it more to one side. [she adjusts his hat] There. Makes you look more distinguished. Mrs. Warboys: Very smart. He looks like President Gorbachev. |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - I'll Retire to Bedlam Victor Meldrew: [singing] Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. Margaret Meldrew: You must be in a good mood. Victor Meldrew: Sunday morning, what is there to be miserable about? Sunday morning, the first day of a new week. I'm going to a nice little potter about in the garden where the insanities of life can't possibly upset me. |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - I'll Retire to Bedlam Margaret Meldrew: Perhaps you should just have an early night tonight. You'll feel better in the morning. Victor Meldrew: Yes, I expect I will. Good night, then. Oh, if you should hear any sudden screams, it's just me smacking on some aftershave. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - The Big Sleep Margaret Meldrew: She's dead! Victor Meldrew: She can't be dead! She's the bloody health and fitness instructor! |
| Season 1 / Episode 1: - Alive and Buried Margaret Meldrew: You've got a whole new life ahead of you, Victor. I mean, huh, you've hardly started. You've got it all still to come. Victor Meldrew: Yes, that's what scares me. |
| Previous: Victor Meldrew | Next: Jean Warboys |
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