NYPD Blue Quotes

NYPD Blue

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 9 / Episode 20: - Oedipus Wrecked Andy: [While being held hostage] Get Lt. Rodriguez! I need a couple of joints!
	Season 9 / Episode 8: - Puppy Love Lt. Tony Rodriguez: You know, we were all immigrants once. Unless "Sipowitz" is a Navajo name.
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - I Have a Dream Andy's Father: Not this Dornan... None of them! They all cost me my eye! They all cost me my job!
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - What a Dump! Det. Greg Medavoy: You caught me cheating. Lt. Arthur Fancy: I never got to like chunky. Det. James Martinez: You want us to get some of that plain? Lt. Arthur Fancy: I'm better without the temptation. Det. Greg Medavoy: That's me as well. I've got motive in my nervousness, so I gotta deprive myself of opportunity. Det. James Martinez: Otherwise, he might murder Mr. Peanut.
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - What a Dump! Russian Woman: How could this happen? What's wrong with this country? Det. Andy Sipowicz: What's wrong with this country? What's wrong with it is too many people from other countries screw it up. Det. Bobby Simone: Detective Sipowicz here is one of the few Native American Poles.
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - What a Dump! Gomelsky: She was a person, had a family, send money to her family in Chernobyl. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Their letters back have kind of a green glow to 'em?
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - What a Dump! Det. Andy Sipowicz: Welcome to America.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Where'd the Van Gogh? Det. Andy Sipowicz: You know, statistics show 85 percent of these art guys are homos. Det. Bobby Simone: Yeah, huh? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yeah. 85 percent, minimum.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Where'd the Van Gogh? Geri Turner: Do you have just a minute for me? Geri Turner: Do you see what's under my blouse? Det. Andy Sipowicz: What, are you crazy? Geri Turner: Oh, I'm not talking about my breasts. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Button your blouse. Geri Turner: My undergarment is rubber. It's holding all my fluids in. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Bobby. That girl is a menace. Det. Bobby Simone: Geri? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Just made a pass at me. Said she's wearing a diving suit under her clothes. Det. Bobby Simone: How is that a pass? Det. Andy Sipowicz: I'm telling you what her intentions were.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Where's 'Swaldo? Det. Greg Medavoy: I guess the one DOA, he's now the dealer formerly known as Prince.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Where's 'Swaldo? Fat Cat: What's goin' on, man? Det. Bobby Simone: Gerard Markham? Fat Cat: Oh, you call me that, my mama must've sent you.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Where's 'Swaldo? Fat Cat: That mean we goin' in? Det. Bobby Simone: That's right, Fat Cat. We are going in. Fat Cat: See, you call me that, now I know who you're talking about. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yeah, you keep talking like we're chums, blimpy. We'll give you the secret handshake back at the station house.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Where's 'Swaldo? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Your buddy just give you up, Trent, or am I taking that wrong? Is there anything you want to do about that, or, uh, you want to start thinking about being a husband to some guy named Joe?
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - We Was Robbed Det. Andy Sipowicz: Just keep both hands your po-po and try to make wee-wee.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - The Bookie and Kooky Cookie Det. Andy Sipowicz: I worked a case once. A couple's kid was missing. A 14-month old kid. He wondered away in a park, and we're looking everywhere, and there's flyers we got out, they're interviewed on the radio. The guy's a dog trainer in from the Midwest who came here so he could take this special course with a German Shepherd that he's got. And the wife's half an oilier. You can tell that she likes to drink. I'm just getting this bad feeling about the both of them. So, I go at her a little bit. We're up there in their transient apartment they rented, and finally she says... whatever happened, it wasn't her. So now I'm looking at the husband. He's this... he's this horse-balled tough guy. A fake marine. And he's talking to me about how pets have to be disciplined, and the breakdown of discipline... and I'm getting worried what might have happened with this asshole. And now she starts screaming that it wasn't her. She was asleep. The baby peed while the father was changing it one night and... uh... it urinated in the guy's face. He threw the baby down on the floor, and fractured its skull, and the baby lay there and died. And what happened with the baby, I wanted to know. And she's still screaming that it wasn't her and I'm looking at this dog, and this asshole husband is trying to get the dog away from me. This German Shepherd dog with a drooping round belly. Now, I got to cut open this dog to find out what's going on. I take the dog over to the vet's. We cut it's large belly open... we got to murder this poor dog and... there's the pieces of the dead child... hacked apart... inside the dog. The sick couple tried to hide their dead baby by hacking him apart and surgically hiding its pieces inside their dog. [after a long pause] Father Kankarides wanted to know if I lost my faith. I got faith in you.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Simone Says Det. Bobby Simone: [opening lines] [Sipowicz arrives for work and looks at his new reading eyeglasses when Bobby Simone enters the locker room] Det. Bobby Simone: Morning. How's it going? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Andy Sipowicz. Det. Bobby Simone: Oh, Andy. Bobby Simone. Good to meet you. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Uh... yeah. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Hey, Lieutenant. It's no good. It's not gonna work out. I just met this new guy. Lt. Arthur Fancy: Simone? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yeah. It's not gonna work out. Lt. Arthur Fancy: What happened? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Don't get me started. His attitude is all wrong. "How you doing?" That type of thing. Lt. Arthur Fancy: He asked you how you are doing? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yeah. I can't... it's not going to work out.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Simone Says Det. Andy Sipowicz: Hey, how's it going? A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: I was just seeing Abruzzo. Is that the new detective? Det. Andy Sipowicz: [nods] Simone, what kind of name is that? A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: First or last? Det. Andy Sipowicz: If it was his first, he'd be a girl. A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: Last name... Simone, sounds French to me. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yeah, maybe. Det. Bobby Simone: [into a phone] Hey, I went through a lot of trouble getting that red cock. I don't want to argue with you! You tell Billy that he can't come around my place anymore with his blue-barred cock! Okay... thanks. Det. Bobby Simone: I breed birds. Racing pigeons. A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: [to Sipowicz] Tell him you keep fish. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Assistant D.A. Costas, this is Detective Simone. Det. Bobby Simone: How do you do? A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: How do you do. Det. Andy Sipowicz: [to Simone] They gave you that address? Det. Bobby Simone: Yeah, she's working Seventh Avenue. A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: [to Simone] Must be interesting raising pigeons. Det. Bobby Simone: It's a lot of fun, gets you outdoors. A.D.A. Sylvia Costas: You guys and your hobbies.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Dead and Gone Sgt. Vincent Agostini: Good night, Kelly. Det. John Kelly: Good night, Sergeant.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - From Whom the Skell Rolls Norman Gardner: You girls know the rules your homework is late I have to spank you. Denise: We know. Norman Gardner: Well get in the position. Denise: [spanked] Ouch. Suzie: [spanked] Ouch!
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Serge the Concierge Det. Greg Medavoy: I expect the aroma to be with us for several more days, despite we're gonna dispose of our overalls. Not to mention the itching, even with the cortisone cream. Det. James Martinez: [to Kelly] But, good news. We found the body, John. Det. John Kelly: Yeah? I thought the Lieutenant said that you were wrapping it up. Det. James Martinez: Medavoy took a guess that it might be in Section 7-6 instead of Section 6-7. We went over to the other station and found it. Det. Greg Medavoy: Yeah, we extended our little visit because why would anyone had given us the correct information on the location of the body when this way we... we could extened our exposure to the stink and the bird poop? Det. John Kelly: That's a good point, Greg.
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Serge the Concierge Det. Andy Sipowicz: [enters] What's that smell? Somebody puke in here? Det. Greg Medavoy: [sarcastic] Yeah, that smell is called Eau de Garbage Dump! You like it? My overalls are drenched in it!
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Serge the Concierge Buck Naked: Hey, who sliced the provolone?
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Steroid Roy Off. Roy Larson: Hey, Kelly! You wanna sit on a butt like cottage cheese, be my guest. Meanwhile, I'll be sittin' on this. Det. Andy Sipowicz: You gotta admit, Lieutentant... the guy's got a hell of a muscular ass.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Oscar, Meyer, Weiner Det. Andy Sipowicz: Hey, did you know that New York City tap water tastes better than bottled water? That's not me saying that. That's independent testing.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Ice Follies Inspector Anthony Lastarza: You're implying you had communications with Angelo Marino prior to his death? Officer Janice Licalsi: Uh... prior to his death, yeah. But nothing since.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Tempest in a C-Cup Det. Andy Sipowicz: Hi, I'm Detective Sipowicz. Donna Abandando: Hi, I'm the new detectives administrative aide, Donna Abandando. Det. Andy Sipowicz: This is Detective Medavoy. Donna Abandando: [to Medavoy] Hi. Donna Abandando. Donna Abandando: [to Sipowicz] Is he all right? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Uh... Detective Medavoy has taken a vow of silence until they sort out this mess in Bosnia.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Tempest in a C-Cup Det. Andy Sipowicz: What about the topless bar undercover, Lieutenant? Lt. Arthur Fancy: I thought I'd reassign it. Det. Andy Sipowicz: Well, uh, you think that's necessary? Kelly's gonna work interrogation with Conklin and Roberts. He's gonna be schoolin' Martinez. I'd just be like a fifth wheel. Lt. Arthur Fancy: So you'd prefer to stay on the topless assignment? Det. Andy Sipowicz: Well, I think that's the most bang for our law enforcement buck, manpower-wise. Lt. Arthur Fancy: Take Medavoy. Det. Andy Sipowicz: [disappointed] Yes sir.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Tempest in a C-Cup Det. Andy Sipowicz: We go in, we patronize, we see if the girls are offering anything that isn't on the menu, huh? Kinda like a busman's holiday for me. Objective's to squeeze the owner, who's laundering money for Tony Rago. Det. Greg Medavoy: Yeah, listen... uh, Andy... Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yes, Medavoy. You will be seein' naked broads. You gonna have a problem with that?
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Tempest in a C-Cup Det. Andy Sipowicz: An A-plus in the tit department, Monique.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Personal Foul Det. John Kelly: Look at this... I'm ankle-deep in water over here! Det. Andy Sipowicz: It's full of hair... I keep telling you, somebody's hair keeps clogging up the drain. Det. John Kelly: You know, well, I guess that rules you out as a suspect.

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