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Kimber Henry: [In a dreamy way, typical of the show] Hey, sailor...
Dr. Christian Troy: [Surprised] Kimber... Uff. [Looks at her with love] I missed you so much.
Kimber Henry: Really? Because I didn't miss you. I know I said to you that I did, but no so much. I think I'm finally free now.
Dr. Christian Troy: Don't say that. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Kimber Henry: And yet you stole my soul. I have to kill myself to get away from you. That was the only way out. And now Sean is killing himself too, Christian. If he stays with you, he's a dead man. [Christian awakes]
06x05 - Abigail Sullivan Season 6 / Episode 5: - Abigail Sullivan

Dr. Sean McNamara: Why is it that we see what we wanna believe, but we don't believe what we see?
Dr. Liz Cruz: Because we have hope. Because we wanna believe in the good. Because usually the truth just sucks.
05x22 - Giselle Blaylock & Legend Chandler Season 5 / Episode 22: - Giselle Blaylock & Legend Chandler

Matt McNamara: Kimber! Sit down!
05x14 - Candy Richards Season 5 / Episode 14: - Candy Richards

Matt McNamara: We just felt this connection.
Christian Troy: Yeah, it's called DNA!
05x08 - Duke Collins Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins

Carol McCrackin: There we were in our red hats and scarves, singing "Winter Wonderland" and watching the sunset on the beach when a tattooed man in blue approached, and advised us that we were in "Crip" territory. Well I happen to speak "Crip", so I told him "chill, we were friendlies". But then five men in blue approached, and asked if the red scarves meant that we were sent by the Bloods to diss them. I said "fo schizzle, we were just spreading the word" and "please not get up in our grills". And then I reached for my pitch pipe...
Dr. Christian Troy: They beat the crap out of you?
Dr. Sean McNamara: Maybe they weren't music lovers.
Dr. Christian Troy: How did you escape unhurt?
Carol McCrackin: I took their advice and hauled my cracker ass out of there.
05x08 - Duke Collins Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins

Ram Peters: Don't you think that the little girl's gonna be a little bit better off with Kimber and me, rather than some punk who's willing to be filmed taking it up the ass so he could score a little bit more boo-yah?
Dr. Christian Troy: That's my son, you dick-sucking pimp!
Kimber Henry: Didn't you guys know that Matt worked here? Oh yeah, Ram cast him in First-Time Fairies... as a bottom. That's the one...
Julia McNamara: Stop it Kimber, you're lying!
Dr. Christian Troy: Of course she's lying. That's the only thing she's good at... except for spreading her legs
05x08 - Duke Collins Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins

Dr. Liz Cruz: [to the carollors singing] Go away! Bah humbug!
Dr. Sean McNamara: Ebenezer Cruz, where's your Christmas spirit?
05x08 - Duke Collins Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins

Dr. Christian Troy: It takes at least two to tango with Kimber. Preferably eight, one for each tentacle.
05x07 - Dr. Joshua Lee Season 5 / Episode 7: - Dr. Joshua Lee

Eden Lord: This was "get it out of our systems" sex. I enjoy screwing older guys, it's a daddy thing. And you're hot for your age, even hotter since you screwed the woman who's screwing my Mom. But I don't date guys with gray pubes.
05x07 - Dr. Joshua Lee Season 5 / Episode 7: - Dr. Joshua Lee

Dr. Liz Cruz: [about Kimber] This poor girl, trouble just walks along side her.
Dr. Christian Troy: Screw her! How many times have I fixed this outside of this succubus? And what changes on the inside? huh? Nothing. You know the definition of madness? When you do the same thing over and over again expecting defferent results.
Dr. Liz Cruz: This only mad thing about her is that she still has feeling for you.
Dr. Christian Troy: There comes a point where you just have to let go. Kimber has a disease of the soul. Get too close you'll catch it.
04x10 - Merrill Bobolit Season 4 / Episode 10: - Merrill Bobolit

Dr. Merril Bobolit: They raped me, Christian. Repeatedly. They passed me around for a year and a half, and now I can't even leave the house without fear of shitting my pants... I became someone's prison wife, someone more powerful than me."
04x02 - Blu Mondae Season 4 / Episode 2: - Blu Mondae

Christian: Sorry, no pro bono for boning a pro
03x03 - Derek, Alex, and Gary Season 3 / Episode 3: - Derek, Alex, and Gary

Dr. Quentin Costa: I'm sorry, Kimber. This is very embarrassing. I'm completely starstruck. I've seen all your movies.
Kimber Henry: How sweet. We have a new series coming out. It's called "Two Girls, a Guy, and a Cumface". It's loosely based on our personal experience.
Dr. Christian Troy: We'll be sure to send you the DVDs.
Kit McGraw: Porn's for fat kids. Why not offer him the real thing?
Dr. Quentin Costa: I wouldn't want to impose.
Kit McGraw: Christian won't mind a friend lending a hand.
Dr. Christian Troy: Not at all. Quentin, if that's what Kit wants. She's all yours.
Kit McGraw: If you like her movies, wait until you have her when she's not acting. She tastes like hot maple syrup.
Dr. Christian Troy: Kimber isn't a condiment from IHOP, sweetheart. She's not to be passed around the table.
02x16 - Joan Rivers Season 2 / Episode 16: - Joan Rivers

Christian Troy: [to Ava Moore] You lubricate acid. If I stick my dick up you, it would sizzle off.
02x13 - Oona Wentworth Season 2 / Episode 13: - Oona Wentworth

Dr. Sean McNamara: Sit down. Did you urinate in the soap dispenser, Matt? [the boys laugh] This act of aggression isn't funny. What's funny about it?
Matt McNamara: This whole thing is funny, dad. It's idiotic.
Dr. Sean McNamara: I asked you a question, Matt. Did you do this?
Matt McNamara: No.
Dr. Sean McNamara: Adrian, was it you?
Adrian Moore: Uhhh. He's scary, your other dad.
Dr. Sean McNamara: You're not leaving here until I get an answer.
Ava Moore: Don't you dare threaten my son.
Adrian Moore: Yeah, I urinated in the soap dispenser. Do you wanna spank me?
Dr. Sean McNamara: [Turns into Ava] Your son is yet another reminder of what a monstruous fraud you are, Ava. I'm tempted to feel sorry for him, but I'm not his father. [Turns into Matt] I'm yours. And here's the new regime. Till further notice, you report to my office every day after school where we'll find plenty of meaningless busy work to keep you out of trouble.
Matt McNamara: I didn't do anything.
Dr. Sean McNamara: Yes, you did, Matt. Your lackadaisical behaviour screams out for boundaries, so I'm gonna give you some. You will not fail to show up. You will not even be late. Or you'll finish out your education at a military school of my choice. Got it?
Ava Moore: Matt's outgrown the saber-rattling. Don't pay any attention to his macho posturing, Matt. We can file for legal emancipation.
Dr. Sean McNamara: [Turns into Ava] You do that, lady. And in the two months it takes to get the approval of the court, I'll talk to the press, discredit you as a pedophile, and a kidnapper, and an overall menace to society. And then we'll see how soon your life coach business goes belly up.
Ava Moore: I'm not afraid of your empty threats.
Dr. Sean McNamara: You should be, Ava. You should be very afraid.
02x08 - Agatha Ripp Season 2 / Episode 8: - Agatha Ripp

Dr. Sean McNamara: Please, I need to believe in something.
Agatha Ripp: Don't you get it? There is nothing to believe in anymore.
02x08 - Agatha Ripp Season 2 / Episode 8: - Agatha Ripp

Agatha Ripp: Going through life with no faith in anything is the worst hell of all, don't you think?
02x07 - Naomi Gaines Season 2 / Episode 7: - Naomi Gaines

Ava Moore: Don't try to intimidate me Julia, wanna play games? I will push right back and I will win.
02x03 - Manya Mabika Season 2 / Episode 3: - Manya Mabika

Sean McNamara: [discussing patient Manya Mabika, who wants reconstructive surgery on her genitals to reverse a childhood clitoridectomy] We're talking about microsurgical free tissue replantation. It can't just look pretty, it's gotta work!
Christian Troy: You might be more adept at nerve reattachment Sean, but I am a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy. If I build it, she will come.
02x03 - Manya Mabika Season 2 / Episode 3: - Manya Mabika

Sean McNamara: They're a mystery, you know. I can reconstruct her external parts, maybe even revitalize dying tissue, but pleasure, release, ecstasy...
Christian Troy: All we're doing is maximizing her potential. She just wants a fighting chance to feel, or at the very least look like the woman she could have been if she lived in this country instead of a place where men are such pussies they have to neuter their women to get a hard on.
Sean McNamara: Let's go rebuild a clitoris.
01x13 - Escobar Gallardo Season 1 / Episode 13: - Escobar Gallardo

Dr. Christian Troy: [trying to have sex with Gina, who's nine months pregnant] Jesus, how do fat people have sex?
01x10 - Adelle Coffin Season 1 / Episode 10: - Adelle Coffin

Sean McNamara: [Sean and Christian are talking about how their recertification cadavar bodies died] How did your head die?
Christian Troy: Heart attack. Yours?
Sean McNamara: Suicide. Do you believe in that?
Christian Troy: [pauses] I think that if a person is in a great deal of pain, physical or spiritual, and they've exhausted all their options, I wouldn't judge them for it. I'd say a silent prayer and hope death brought them the piece of mind live never could give them.
01x09 - Sophia Lopez II Season 1 / Episode 9: - Sophia Lopez II

Dr. Christian Troy: Merrill, you metrosexual, you. What are you doing here, getting your back waxed?
Dr. Merril Bobolit: Who told you?
01x07 - Cliff Mantegna Season 1 / Episode 7: - Cliff Mantegna

Dr. Sean McNamara: God, I wish I was single sometimes.
Dr. Christian Troy: Well, you know what they say, "For every beautiful woman, there's a guy that's tired of screwing her."
01x07 - Cliff Mantegna Season 1 / Episode 7: - Cliff Mantegna

Jude Sawyer: Threesomes, foursomes, moresomes. They're everywhere. They're like Starbucks!
01x06 - Megan O'Hara Season 1 / Episode 6: - Megan O'Hara

Megan O'Hara: Don't make the mistake of healing the internal problem with an external fix.
01x05 - Kurt Dempsey Season 1 / Episode 5: - Kurt Dempsey

Dr. Christian Troy: [to Gina] You want the wisdom to know the difference between what you can and can't change? Here's step 13: everything disappears. Love, trees, rocks, steel, plastic, human beings. None of us get out alive. Now you can huddle in a group and face it one day at a time, or you can be grateful that when your body rubs against somebody else's it explodes with enough pleasure to make you forget even for a minute that you're a walking pile of ashes. Now that is the truth. If you're strong it'll make you free, if you're weak, it'll make you... you.
01x04 - Sophia Lopez Season 1 / Episode 4: - Sophia Lopez

Dr. Christian Troy: You're completely rattled because that girl makes erotic films.
Dr. Sean McNamara: Erotic films are when you use a feather. *Porn* films are when you use the whole chicken. This girl's been through a lot of chickens.
01x03 - Nanette Babcock Season 1 / Episode 3: - Nanette Babcock

Dr. Sean McNamara: Did she intimate that if you slept with her, she'd drop the lawsuit?
Dr. Christian Troy: Are you actually telling me to stick my dick in the cryptkeeper to make your mistake go away?
01x02 - Mandi/Randi Season 1 / Episode 2: - Mandi/Randi

Dr. Sean McNamara: I don't want to screw around.
Julia McNamara: Yeah? Well maybe I do. You always were a lousy lay, Sean.
Dr. Sean McNamara: Oh, yeah?
Julia McNamara: Yeah.
Dr. Sean McNamara: You're either a liar or a very good actress. I know your body. I always have. I know right where you live and breathe.
Julia McNamara: Then why haven't I had an orgasm in two years?
Dr. Sean McNamara: Because I didn't wanna work that hard.