Nip/Tuck Quotes

Nip/Tuck

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 5 / Episode 22: - Giselle Blaylock & Legend Chandler Matt McNamara: Kimber! Sit down!
	Season 5 / Episode 14: - Candy Richards Matt McNamara: We just felt this connection. Christian Troy: Yeah, it's called DNA!
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins Carol McCrackin: There we were in our red hats and scarves, singing "Winter Wonderland" and watching the sunset on the beach when a tattooed man in blue approached, and advised us that we were in "Crip" territory. Well I happen to speak "Crip", so I told him "chill, we were friendlies". But then five men in blue approached, and asked if the red scarves meant that we were sent by the Bloods to diss them. I said "fo schizzle, we were just spreading the word" and "please not get up in our grills". And then I reached for my pitch pipe... Dr. Christian Troy: They beat the crap out of you? Dr. Sean McNamara: Maybe they weren't music lovers. Dr. Christian Troy: How did you escape unhurt? Carol McCrackin: I took their advice and hauled my cracker ass out of there.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins Ram Peters: Don't you think that the little girl's gonna be a little bit better off with Kimber and me, rather than some punk who's willing to be filmed taking it up the ass so he could score a little bit more boo-yah? Dr. Christian Troy: That's my son, you dick-sucking pimp! Kimber Henry: Didn't you guys know that Matt worked here? Oh yeah, Ram cast him in First-Time Fairies... as a bottom. That's the one... Julia McNamara: Stop it Kimber, you're lying! Dr. Christian Troy: Of course she's lying. That's the only thing she's good at... except for spreading her legs
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins Dr. Liz Cruz: [to the carollors singing] Go away! Bah humbug! Dr. Sean McNamara: Ebenezer Cruz, where's your Christmas spirit?
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Duke Collins Dr. Christian Troy: It takes at least two to tango with Kimber. Preferably eight, one for each tentacle.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Dr. Joshua Lee Eden Lord: This was "get it out of our systems" sex. I enjoy screwing older guys, it's a daddy thing. And you're hot for your age, even hotter since you screwed the woman who's screwing my Mom. But I don't date guys with gray pubes.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Dr. Joshua Lee Dr. Liz Cruz: [about Kimber] This poor girl, trouble just walks along side her. Dr. Christian Troy: Screw her! How many times have I fixed this outside of this succubus? And what changes on the inside? huh? Nothing. You know the definition of madness? When you do the same thing over and over again expecting defferent results. Dr. Liz Cruz: This only mad thing about her is that she still has feeling for you. Dr. Christian Troy: There comes a point where you just have to let go. Kimber has a disease of the soul. Get too close you'll catch it.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - Merrill Bobolit Dr. Merril Bobolit: They raped me, Christian. Repeatedly. They passed me around for a year and a half, and now I can't even leave the house without fear of shitting my pants... I became someone's prison wife, someone more powerful than me."
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - Blu Mondae Christian: Sorry, no pro bono for boning a pro
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Derek, Alex, and Gary Dr. Quentin Costa: I'm sorry, Kimber. This is very embarrassing. I'm completely starstruck. I've seen all your movies. Kimber Henry: How sweet. We have a new series coming out. It's called "Two Girls, a Guy, and a Cumface". It's loosely based on our personal experience. Dr. Christian Troy: We'll be sure to send you the DVDs. Kit McGraw: Porn's for fat kids. Why not offer him the real thing? Dr. Quentin Costa: I wouldn't want to impose. Kit McGraw: Christian won't mind a friend lending a hand. Dr. Christian Troy: Not at all. Quentin, if that's what Kit wants. She's all yours. Kit McGraw: If you like her movies, wait until you have her when she's not acting. She tastes like hot maple syrup. Dr. Christian Troy: Kimber isn't a condiment from IHOP, sweetheart. She's not to be passed around the table.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - Joan Rivers Christian Troy: [to Ava Moore] You lubricate acid. If I stick my dick up you, it would sizzle off.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - Christian Troy: [to Ava Moore] You lubricate acid. If I stick my dick up you, it would sizzle off.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Agatha Ripp Dr. Sean McNamara: Please, I need to believe in something. Agatha Ripp: Don't you get it? There is nothing to believe in anymore.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Agatha Ripp Agatha Ripp: Going through life with no faith in anything is the worst hell of all, don't you think?
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Naomi Gaines Ava Moore: Don't try to intimidate me Julia, wanna play games? I will push right back and I will win.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Manya Mabika Sean McNamara: [discussing patient Manya Mabika, who wants reconstructive surgery on her genitals to reverse a childhood clitoridectomy] We're talking about microsurgical free tissue replantation. It can't just look pretty, it's gotta work! Christian Troy: You might be more adept at nerve reattachment Sean, but I am a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy. If I build it, she will come.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Adelle Coffin Sean McNamara: [Sean and Christian are talking about how their recertification cadavar bodies died] How did your head die? Christian Troy: Heart attack. Yours? Sean McNamara: Suicide. Do you believe in that? Christian Troy: [pauses] I think that if a person is in a great deal of pain, physical or spiritual, and they've exhausted all their options, I wouldn't judge them for it. I'd say a silent prayer and hope death brought them the piece of mind live never could give them.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Cliff Mantegna Dr. Sean McNamara: God, I wish I was single sometimes. Dr. Christian Troy: Well, you know what they say, "For every beautiful woman, there's a guy that's tired of screwing her."
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Megan O'Hara Megan O'Hara: Don't make the mistake of healing the internal problem with an external fix.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Kurt Dempsey Dr. Christian Troy: [to Gina] You want the wisdom to know the difference between what you can and can't change? Here's step 13: everything disappears. Love, trees, rocks, steel, plastic, human beings. None of us get out alive. Now you can huddle in a group and face it one day at a time, or you can be grateful that when your body rubs against somebody else's it explodes with enough pleasure to make you forget even for a minute that you're a walking pile of ashes. Now that is the truth. If you're strong it'll make you free, if you're weak, it'll make you... you.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Sophia Lopez Dr. Christian Troy: You're completely rattled because that girl makes erotic films. Dr. Sean McNamara: Erotic films are when you use a feather. Porn films are when you use the whole chicken. This girl's been through a lot of chickens.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Nanette Babcock Dr. Sean McNamara: Did she intimate that if you slept with her, she'd drop the lawsuit? Dr. Christian Troy: Are you actually telling me to stick my dick in the cryptkeeper to make your mistake go away?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Mandi/Randi Dr. Sean McNamara: I don't want to screw around. Julia McNamara: Yeah? Well maybe I do. You always were a lousy lay, Sean. Dr. Sean McNamara: Oh, yeah? Julia McNamara: Yeah. Dr. Sean McNamara: You're either a liar or a very good actress. I know your body. I always have. I know right where you live and breathe. Julia McNamara: Then why haven't I had an orgasm in two years? Dr. Sean McNamara: Because I didn't wanna work that hard.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Christian Troy: [Leaving a grocery store after buying a lot of hams] Would you like to tell me why we just bought 12 goddamned hams? Sean McNamara: Because alligators are finicky eaters.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Christian Troy: [Leaving a grocery store after buying a lot of hams] Would you mind telling me why we just bought 12 goddamned hams? Sean McNamara: Because alligators are finicky eaters.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Sean McNamara: [to Julia] When was the last time we went to bed that you didn't hate me?
	Unknown Episode: Gina Russo: What's the matter, Christian, not turned on by pregnant women? Christian Troy: No, just not turned on by you.
	Unknown Episode: Christian Troy: You didn't have an orgasm, is that right? Grace Santiago: Not a shudder. Christian Troy: You're a liar. I rode you like a triple crown jockey, and you came. Grace Santiago: Get out of my face right now. Christian Troy: I counted each contraction. Three times. Or were you doing your Kegel exercises? Grace Santiago: [whispers] Lock the door.
	Unknown Episode: Sean/Christian: Tell me what you don't like about yourself?

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