Moonlighting Quotes

Moonlighting

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 4 / Episode 10: - Tracks of My Tears Maddie: How are you all doing? What's happened? Agnes DiPesto: Well, we've been busy: Five of our clients killed their spouses for the insurance money. Eight were part of love triangles where one member was killed by the other two. And Bert and I did episodes of our own.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - Come Back Little Shiksa David: [Immediately after a witch-like Maddie has turned David into a toad during a dream sequence] All right, I'm impressed. She turned me into a horny toad.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Maddie's Turn to Cry (3) Maddie Hayes: [crying in David's arms] I hate you, David Addison. David Addison: [hugging her] I know. I hate you too, Maddie Hayes. I've always hated you.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Poltergeist III--- Dipesto Nothing Elderly Woman: I believe my house may be haunted. David Addison: Have you tried someone who specialises in this sort of thing? A psychologist, a priest....Dan Akroyd?
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Atomic Shakespeare Pertrucio: [to Lucentio/viola] I hope that we meet again. Probably in the fourth act.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Atomic Shakespeare Katharina Suitor: We only came to woo, and bewhich, having no advanced knowledge that you'd be such a -... Katharina: ENOUGH!
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Atomic Shakespeare Katharina: Go soakth thy head it swells beyond all measure! Pertrucio: Aye! And proudly!
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Atomic Shakespeare Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes, David Addison Jr.: We both hate iambic pentameter.
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Symphony in Knocked Flat Maddie, David: [Overlapping] I am not speaking to you!-Are too!-I am not!- Are too!- Am not! Are too! Am not! Maddie: Not another word, not another sound, not another beep until we get back to the office! David: Beep.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - Sleep Talkin' Guy Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: Well, well, you did it again. I suppose you're going to get credit for all this. David Addison Jr.: I suppose so... David Addison Jr.: You mad? Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: Mad? David Addison Jr.: Mad. I mean, I guess you have the right to be a little mad. Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: I'm not mad. David Addison Jr.: Good. Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: I'm... Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: ...livid.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Dream Sequence Always Rings Twice David Addison: Sexist. Maddie Hayes: Animal.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Next Stop Murder David Addison: You think that Alexander Graham Bell sat back in his workshop and said, "Why am I inventing the telephone? No one else has one. Who'm I going to call?" Heck no! He got out there, did what he had to do, invented the telephone, dialed a number 'til people got good and sick of all that ringing, and went out and bought a telephone so they could answer it! Maddie Hayes: Don't tell me you read that in your book. David Addison: Back of a milk carton.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Next Stop Murder Security Officer: I'm sorry, but you're not on the guest list. David Addison: That's because we're not guests. We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose. Security Officer: A mole on his nose ? Maddie Hayes: A mole on his nose. Security Officer: [to Maddie] What kind of clothes? Maddie Hayes: [to David] What kind of clothes? David Addison: What kind of clothes do you suppose? Security Officer: What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows? David Addison: Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose, that this man that we're seeking with the mole on his nose? I'm not sure of his clothes or anything else, except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself. Maddie Hayes: How do you do that? David Addison: Gotta read a lot of Dr. Seuss. Security Officer: I'm sorry to say, I'm sad to report, I haven't seen anyone at all of that sort. Not a man who's Chinese with a mole on his nose with some kind of clothes that you can't suppose. So get away from this door and get out of this place, or I'll have to hurt you - put my foot in your face
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Next Murder You Hear Maddie: I was not born yesterday! David: It's true. I had lunch with her yesterday. If she'da been born, I would have noticed.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Pilot (2) David Addison Jr.: Soon we'll be handling it all. Robbery, grand larceny, felonious assault, felonious with no salt.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) David Addison: Women: You can't live with them, can't leave 'em on the curb when you're done with them.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) David Addison: [yelling] Fine! Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: [yelling] Fine!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) David Addison: All right! You're looking great, kid! I'm right behind ya. Now, don't look back and try and see me, just know that I'm right in back of you, and -- yes, I am looking up your dress.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: How do you know he's dead? David Addison: It's either that or the man wears an obscene amount of blue rouge.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: I want some answers! David Addison: Deleware, all of the above, and 90 degrees. Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: ...what?
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) David Addison: Looks to me like you didn't finish the whole nine innings. Criminal: What? Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: What? David Addison: Don't gang up on me! I don't write this stuff.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot (1) David Addison: Hi, could you please tell me where I can find Booth Three? Woman Behind Counter: [Stares blankly back as if she can't see or hear him] David Addison: Ah, I see. First living brain donor.
	Unknown Episode: David: I remember when they told Sylvia Plath, "Hey, Syl, cheer up!" I remember when they told e. e. cummings, "e, baby; use caps!" But did ol' e listen? No. Little n. Little o.
	Unknown Episode: David: And then last night, an idea hit me! Maddie: Left a bruise, I hope. David: Who is the one person out there, who is spreading happiness and joy out there in the world? Maddie: Steven Spielberg? David: SANTY CLAUS!
	Unknown Episode: Maddie: If people are meant to be together, they'll find each other, no matter where, no matter what, right? Isn't that right?
	Unknown Episode: Maddie: Just when I think you've gone as low as you can go, you find a basement door!
	Unknown Episode: Maddie: You have the morals of rabbit, the character of a slug, and the brain of a platypus.
	Unknown Episode: Maddie Hayes: Well, let me remind you Mr. Addison, that one case does not a detective make. David Addison: Well, let me remind you Ms. Hayes, that I HATE IT WHEN YOU TALK BACKWARDS.
	Unknown Episode: Maddie Hayes: David, may I please have some ANSWERS? David Addison: Delaware, all of the above, 90 degrees.
	Unknown Episode: David Addison: Do bears bear? Do bees be?

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