3x04 Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror

'Life and Death Struggles' Narrator: The unsuspecting breakfast glides ever closer, and the royal pantomime person is poised for the kill. She raises her harpoon and fires! Bang, right in the toast. They struggle, and all is over. Poor breakfast.

Merchant Banker: What is my incentive to give you the Pound?
Mr Ford: Well, the incentive is to make the orphans happy.
Merchant Banker: Happy? You quite sure you've got this right?
Mr Ford: Yes, lots of people give me money.
Merchant Banker: What, just like that?
Mr Ford: Yes.
Merchant Banker: Must be sick. Uh, I don't suppose you could give me a list of their names and addresses.

'BDDWH' Presenter: Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of "Blood, Devastation, Death, War & Horror". And later we'll be talking to a man who DOES gardening. But our first guest tonight is a man who talks entirely in anagrams.
Hamrag Yatlerot: Taht si crreoct.
'BDDWH' Presenter: Do you enjoy this?
Hamrag Yatlerot: I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.
'BDDWH' Presenter: And what is your name?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Hamrag, Hamrag Yatlerot.
'BDDWH' Presenter: Well Graham, nice to have you on the show. Now where do you come from?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Bumcreland.
'BDDWH' Presenter: Cumberland?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Staht sit sepreicly.
'BDDWH' Presenter: And I believe you're working on an anagram version of Shakespeare?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Sey sey, taht si crreoct, er. Ta the mnemot I'm wroking on "The Mating Of The Wersh."
'BDDWH' Presenter: "The Mating Of The Wersh". By William Shakespeare?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Nay, by Malliwi Rapesheake.
'BDDWH' Presenter: And, erm, what else?
Hamrag Yatlerot: "Two Netlemeg Of Verona", "Twelfth Thing", "The Chamrent Of Venice"...
'BDDWH' Presenter: Have you done "Hamlet"?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Be ot or bot ne ot, tath si the nestquie.
'BDDWH' Presenter: And what is your next project?
Hamrag Yatlerot: Ring Kichard the Thrid.
'BDDWH' Presenter: I'm sorry?
Hamrag Yatlerot: A shroe! A shroe! My dingkome for a shroe!
'BDDWH' Presenter: Ah, King Richard, yes... but surely that's not an anagram, that's a spoonerism.
Hamrag Yatlerot: If you're going to split hairs, I'm going to piss off.