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Natalie Teeger Quotes
 | Season 7 / Episode 4: - Mr. Monk Takes A Punch [SPOILER: in the killer's mansion] Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: They're authentic. One was stolen nine years ago from a gallery in Madrid, and two are from a museum in Venice. Adrian Monk: He was worried that someone would see the artwork on TV and recognize it. But he knew that if Ray Regis were dead, they would never run the ad. Natalie Teeger: So he hired that terrible, terrible man. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [as the owner is led past them, handcuffed] Hey, nice collection, Daniel! Too bad none of it's yours. Lt. Randall Disher: You should have just kept it all in your basement. Daniel MacGraw: It's fine art, Lieutenant. It's meant to be savored. I never imagined my bride would invite a TV crew into my house while I was out of the country. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: So you didn't tell her it was stolen? Daniel MacGraw: [sarcastic] In hindsight, maybe that's something I should have mentioned. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever Billy Logan: Excuse me, new girl. New girl, you're off your mark. Natalie Teeger: My mark? Billy Logan: Yeah. The big "X" on the floor. Look where I'm pointing. [Natalie moves over there] Stage Manager: 90 seconds! Natalie Teeger: 90 seconds? Wait, I never got a script! Excuse me, I never got a script! Billy Logan: There is no script. This is the lottery. For the love of God if there was a script, we'd all be rich! [to himself] Amateurs. [Billy walks off. Stan Lawrence approaches Monk, Stottlemeyer and Disher] Stan Lawrence: Captain, Lieutenant. How's the investigation going? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, we're just getting started. We've spoken to the staff, the camera crew; everybody said they left the building after the show. Stan Lawrence: They usually do. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well somebody was here. The girl didn't stab herself. Stan Lawrence: You wanted to know if Marissa received any fan mail. Some of them are very dicey, you know, personal. I put those on top. [He hands the stack over] Billy Logan: I need quiet everybody! New girl, new girl. You're on, in 5, 4, 3, 2- [the show's theme music starts up. The studio cameras turn on] Natalie Teeger: Good evening, people. Welcome to the Big Gold Rush Pick 6. I'm Natalie Teeger. Are you ready to play? [pause. Monk gives her a "get on with it" gesture] Then let's play, the lottery! And the first number is... [long pause. Billy Logan gestures to the button on the drum] Billy Logan: [whispering] Turn it on! [Natalie doesn't move] Turn it on! [Natalie presses the power button] Natalie Teeger: My god! [the numbers come out of the drum. Natalie reads them and then sets them aside] And the first number is... 25. My mother's birthday. The next number... 52. 52... cards in a deck. The next number... 7. The Seven Dwarves. [Stottlemeyer tears up some fan mail] Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Seven dwarves. [the number 32 is drawn] Natalie Teeger: The next number... 32. 32 teeth. [clicks her teeth] [the number 10 is drawn] 10. My boss's absolute favorite number. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Aw crap! Natalie Teeger: Apparently not everybody's favorite. [the number 17 gets drawn] And the final number is 17, my daughter's age. [makes a little wave] Hi Julie! [pause] Once again the winning numbers for today are 25, 52, 7, 32, 10, and 17. So, that's it for now! Keep playing lotto. [pauses] You'll thank me later! [the music stops. Monk is dumbstruck] Adrian Monk: "You'll thank me later"? That's my line. I say that! Lt. Randall Disher: It hurts, doesn't it? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You know I might as well flush 20 bucks down the toilet once a week. |
| Season 7 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever Adrian Monk: Do you want to put it in this evidence bag? Adrian Monk: Bag #32. Hey! 32, 3-2. 32! Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, are you mocking me? In public? I don't make fun of your job. Adrian Monk: That's because I have a real job. I'm solving a homicide here. Natalie Teeger: Well, I have a real job too. I am changing peoples' lives. I'm making them rich. Adrian Monk: You are not making them rich. You're not giving them financial advice. You're just reading little numbers off little white ping-pong balls. And if it wasn't you, they'd just hire some other bim. Natalie Teeger: Some other what? "Bim" what? Adrian Monk: Bimportant person. Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, do you think I'm a bimbo? Okay, maybe what I do isn't the most bimportant job on the planet but what do I do for you? Hand you wipes all day long? Pick up your laundry? You know people admire me now, and I admit it, I am enjoying the attention. I guess I needed it. Adrian Monk: Oh I'm sorry, but I can't work like this. So you're going to have to choose. [He gestures to himself and to Natalie's fans at the crime tape] Natalie Teeger: OK, well I guess I quit. Adrian Monk: [relieved] Thank god! Well call the station manager, and tell him to find somebody else. Natalie Teeger: No I quit you. I quit us. [Monk's face turns to shock, and Natalie passes under the police tape and runs off, her fans following her] |
| Season 7 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever Natalie Teeger: I'm sorry, Mr. Monk, I got a little distracted. Adrian Monk: [sarcastically] Is the cadaver in the way? We could move it across the street if you like. |
| Season 7 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever Natalie Teeger: [accidentally trips over some cables] Excuse me! Do these cables have to be right here? Billy Logan: Yes they do, because they carry your voice from this microphone to that soundboard. Natalie Teeger: Well can't you move them somewhere else? They almost broke my neck. Billy Logan: Almost doesn't count. Natalie Teeger: I'll do it. [She starts to try to relocate the cables. Billy comes over] Billy Logan: What are you doing? Put it down. Natalie Teeger: I'm taking care of it. [Stan Lawrence overhears the argument and comes over] Stan Lawrence: Billy, what the hell is the matter here? Natalie Teeger: Stan, I can't work with this guy! Billy Logan: What, you can't work with me? I've been here for eight years, lady, and you're just another untalented face! Stan Lawrence: Billy! Calm down! Natalie Teeger: Untalented, huh? The ratings keep going up every night! How do you explain that? Billy Logan: The ratings go up when the jackpot goes up! It has nothing to do with you, you moron. Stan Lawrence: Billy! I've warned you before about your attitude. That's it. You're fired. Somebody call security. |
| Season 7 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever Natalie Teeger: [upon noticing a bus with her image on it] I can't believe this is really happening! Adrian Monk: I can't either. [Natalie steps forward and starts to try to clean a smudge off her bus image's cheek] I hate to bring this up, but we've got work to do. Remember your predecessor Marissa Kessler? Murder victim? Multiple stab wounds? Does that ring a bell? [Natalie steps back] Natalie Teeger: Sorry, sorry. [They continue up the street] Adrian Monk: OK, Randy and the Captain are probably already there. It should be just around the corner. It's uh, number 24. [Natalie stops and enters her lottery mode] Natalie Teeger: 24. 24! 24! Adrian Monk: [agitated] Are you done? [she stops] Natalie Teeger: Okay let's do this! What's the guy's name? No wait, who was he again? Like, her ex-boyfriend? [They start walking again] Adrian Monk: No! No the ex-boyfriend had an alibi! He checked out! Oh wait. That's right, you weren't at the meeting this morning. Natalie Teeger: But I had to shop for a dress! I can't wear the same thing every show. I had to wear the same blouse three times last week! Three! [stops and enters lottery mode] Three. Three tres. Three... [Monk taps her on the shoulder] Adrian Monk: Hello? Natalie Teeger: Sorry, sorry. Just remind me. Adrian Monk: Okay, his name is Malcolm O'Dwyer. He's some kind of lottery fanatic. He wrote a bunch of fan letters to Marissa before she was killed. [as they approach the corner, a cabbie spots Natalie and recognizes her] Friendly Cabbie: Hey! I'm a big fan! Adrian Monk: Thank you very much. Friendly Cabbie: Not you! The lotto girl! "You'll thank me later!" Natalie Teeger: That's not actually my line! Mr. Monk said it first! [the cabbie speeds off in response to impatient honking from the driver of a Toyota Prius stopped behind him] |
| Season 7 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever Natalie Teeger: What time is it? [Monk looks at his watch] Adrian Monk: 5:00, one minute after. Natalie Teeger: Turn on the news. Adrian Monk: What channel? Natalie Teeger: Any channel. [Monk switches on the TV to a news bulletin] Newscaster: ...a major scandal today involving the Gold Rush Lottery. As we told you before, there were two winners in last night's jackpot giveaway: Eugene Maddox, a truck driver from Rockaway Township, and Leland Stottlemeyer, a highly decorated officer of the San Francisco Police. [On the TV, the scene cuts to a press conference with Stottlemeyer and Eugene Maddox holding big fake $106 million checks] Reporter: Mr. Maddox, what do you do for a living? Eugene Maddox: Well yesterday I was unemployed. Today, I guess I'm retired. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [chuckles] That makes two of us, brother. Newscaster: But in a stunning development, the lottery commission suspended all payment to Captain Stottlemeyer after it was revealed that Stottlemeyer has known and worked with Natalie Teeger, the newly hired lotto ball girl. There is a newsconference... [Monk switches off the TV] Natalie Teeger: They said we cheated. Adrian Monk: Why? Just because you know the Captain? Okay, it looks bad, but... Natalie Teeger: No, it's not just that. They said they have proof. They'd checked the equipment; there was something wrong with the machine: it was rigged. [breaks into tears] They said I'm going to jail! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Julie Teeger: All right, wait here. Adrian Monk: What's she doing? Natalie Teeger: She's... flirting. Adrian Monk: Well, she's good at it... Natalie Teeger: Shut up. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Adrian Monk: [writes a paycheck for Natalie] "Payable to... Natalie Teeger." Natalie Teeger: My four favorite words. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Patrick Kloster: This is a funeral home, Mr. Monk. My wife has just passed. [notices Monk's grin] I find that grin on your face rather inappropriate. Adrian Monk: I know how you did it. Patrick Kloster: You still think I murdered my wife? Adrian Monk: You set a trap... Natalie Teeger: ...like the Poison Pawn. Patrick Kloster: Oh you've been chatting with some chess masters. Good for you. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Natalie Teeger: "Chess Domination, by Patrick Kloster." Well this will be the opposite of fun. [reads the dedication] "For my queen, Tatianna." Adrian Monk: You don't have to read the dedication. Natalie Teeger: [finds Linda Kloster's check in the book] What's this? Linda Kloster's check. You didn't deposit this? Adrian Monk: I'll never deposit it. Natalie Teeger: But Mr. Monk, she wanted you to cash it. Mr. Monk, if you deposit this check, you can pay your staff, and when I say "staff," I mean me. Adrian Monk: She came to me. I didn't protect her. Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, you did everything you could. Adrian Monk: What about the promise I made to her about him not getting away with it? Natalie Teeger: You made a promise to me. Adrian Monk: [through the car mirror, he notices Patrick approaching them] Shhh, there he comes. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Natalie Teeger: [Monk's latest check turns out to be $700 short] You mean unless I'm complaining, you're not going to pay me? Is that the new norm? Adrian Monk: Even if I wanted to. I've already torn it out of the checkbook. Natalie Teeger: [trying to direct Monk's hand to void her bad check] Yeah so you just void it out. Write "VOID" right here. Adrian Monk: Natalie, I can't do it. If it were up to me... Natalie Teeger: Of course it's up to you! Adrian Monk: I need you to use your inside voice. Natalie Teeger: Oh my god! [yells in frustration at Monk. You can tell that this seems to be the norm every payday] Adrian Monk: I'm a little short on cash right now. But you know I'm good for it. I'll make up for it. Natalie Teeger: Yeah I have been keeping track! It's over $1,800, Mr. Monk! [Linda Kloster enters the room, a finger over her lip] Linda Kloster: I'm sorry. The door was open. I thought I heard screaming. Natalie Teeger: Oh that's just me. I scream every payday. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Natalie Teeger: You have to admit, he's real good. [takes a sip from her lemonade] What? He was right. I am thirsty. Adrian Monk: [looks at her rather suspiciously] How do you feel? Natalie Teeger: Uhhh, I feel fine. [Monk is still looking at her oddly] What? Adrian Monk: It just occurred to me: if there's poison in the lemonade, we could go to the DA and we'd have all the evidence we need. [Natalie promptly spits her lemonade out the window on her side of the car and dumps the rest of the cup onto the pavement] Natalie Teeger: It just occurred to you? And you didn't say anything? My gosh, Mr. Monk, I've never seen you like this! Adrian Monk: How do you feel right now? Natalie Teeger: You know I hate to disappoint you but I feel fine. Adrian Monk: [offering the bottle of Summit Creek water] Try the water. Natalie Teeger: Okay that's it. We're going home. [Starts the car and they start to drive away] Adrian Monk: Wait, wait. Stop the car. [starts opening his door] Natalie Teeger: Wait? What are you doing? Adrian Monk: Just stop the car. [Natalie finally stops, and Monk starts walking towards the Kloster estate] Natalie Teeger: Where are you going? Adrian Monk: His garden. Natalie Teeger: His garden? |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Sir, we were wondering if you were to come downtown and give us a statement. Patrick Kloster: I'm afraid my schedule is rather tight but I did take the opportunity of phoning ahead and reserving a room, here, at the airport security offices. It's nothing extravagent but it's got a table and uh, five chairs. Natalie Teeger: H-How did you know there would be five of us? Patrick Kloster: Please, Ms. Teeger, don't insult me. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [on Patrick Kloster having finished despite his wife having died] It's funny. I would have been too upset to concentrate. Patrick Kloster: I was upset, Captain. That's why it took me 44 moves to win. Adrian Monk: Your wife came to see me this morning, Mr. Kloster. Patrick Kloster: Did she? Adrian Monk: She told me that you'd been planning to kill her. Patrick Kloster: My wife was an unstable woman. Adrian Monk: She didn't seem unstable. Patrick Kloster: I'm sure she was. [turning to Stottlemeyer and Disher] What did the medical examiner say? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Heart attack. Natalie Teeger: You know she didn't look sick to me. Patrick Kloster: And what medical school did you attend, Miss Teeger? My wife suffered from high blood pressure, and for most of her life, she was a heavy smoker and an alcoholic. She was also quite depressed. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What do you know about poison, Mr. Kloster? Patrick Kloster: Not much. More than you, but not much. Although I am an expert on the Poison Pawn. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [on the phone] Kevin, it's a restraining order! You issue 30 of them a day! No he hasn't hit her! [pause] Yes, she's still in the house. [pause] Because Adrian Monk told me, that's how I'm sure. [pause] Fine, good. You sleep on it! [slams the phone down] Adrian Monk: How did that go? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to a detective in the room] Look, forget about him. Just get a cruiser out there. Park it out front until further notice. Natalie Teeger: What? You can't arrest him for anything? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well apparently there's no law against giving your wife the willies. [Disher walks in] Lt. Randall Disher: Captain, we just got a call. You'd better put down the cup. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Just tell me who called, Randy. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Mr. Monk and the Genius Lt. Randall Disher: Is he here? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Plane just landed. Whaddaya got? Lt. Randall Disher: You're not gonna like it. The ME says natural causes; severe cardiac arrest. Adrian Monk: What? Lt. Randall Disher: He's already released the body. Adrian Monk: Wh-What about a complete toxicology workup? Lt. Randall Disher: He won't do it, Monk. Not without probable cause. Natalie Teeger: But she was 42 years old! Adrian Monk: What about the water, the tap water in the bathroom? Lt. Randall Disher: Checked. Natalie Teeger: Well, how about her lipstick? Lt. Randall Disher: Checked. I mean, everything in the house, even her eyedrops, it's all clean. Adrian Monk: He killed her; he poisoned her! But how? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well there he is. You can ask him yourself. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 1: - Mr. Monk Buys a House 'Honest' Jake Phillips: So you just put that together? Just like that? Fantastic. Adrian Monk: And this. [pulls a prescription out of the back of the wheelchair] Tributeral. This is the medication she said made him disoriented. [He hands it to Natalie] Natalie Teeger: It's never been opened. You think she killed him? Adrian Monk: She lied about it. There's gotta be a reason. [Jake and Ramone both nod in agreement. Cuts to the darkened interior of an intact house. Cassie Drake brings groceries into her house and sets them down on the counter, and then turns on the lights, revealing Jake, who is sitting in an armchair] 'Honest' Jake Phillips: Hey, Cassie. [Cassie recoils a bit, but then realizes that it's just Jake. She puts her hand on her chest, relieved that she didn't walk in on a burglar] Cassie Drake: Jake. You scared me to death. 'Honest' Jake Phillips: Yeah, I heard you're working the night shift. That sucks; throws off the whole internal clock. Gets it all out of whack. Cassie Drake: How did you get in? 'Honest' Jake Phillips: Sliding door. It's broken. Cassie Drake: No it's not. 'Honest' Jake Phillips: No, it is. [Cassie still appears to be a little nervous] Cassie Drake: So, how's it going over there? When do I see my share? 'Honest' Jake Phillips: See, buttercup, that's why I'm here: We ran into a little... bump in the road today. Guess who bought the house? [pause. Cassie does not produce a response] Adrian Monk. [short pause] Cassie Drake: I don't know him. 'Honest' Jake Phillips: He's on to you, Cassie. Cassie Drake: It wasn't my fault, Jake. I didn't wanna kill him. [Jake rises from his chair and grabs an awl from his toolbelt. He advances on Cassie] 'Honest' Jake Phillips: I know. Cassie Drake: He would've told everyone. I really didn't have a choice. 'Honest' Jake Phillips: I know. [Jake stabs her and slices the awl through her chest] Cassie Drake: AHHHH! AGGGGHHH! OW! [Cassie drops to the floor, dead] |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Mr. Monk Buys a House Adrian Monk: You should've warned me. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I did. Adrian Monk: Well, why didn't you tie me down and shoot me in the leg? What's the good of having a gun if you don't shoot your friend in the leg when he's about to buy an old house? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Next time I will. I promise. [They come up to the door. Stottlemeyer knocks on the door. With no response, he knocks a Morse code message, presumably in Morse code. He and Disher exchange laughs. Randy in turn taps another message back to Stottlemeyer] Hey did you ever hear about the...? [taps another message back to Randy. They burst out laughing] Natalie Teeger: That's not the way I heard it. My husband was in the Navy. Remember? [Stottlemeyer knocks on the door with a different code] Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Miss Drake! [He pulls on the door, which is unlocked. Cautiously and fearing something bad, he pulls open the door. They see the stabbed body of Cassie Drake on the floor] Natalie Teeger: Oh my God! [Stottlemeyer and Disher head inside while Monk and Natalie stay back] Lt. Randall Disher: Stay there. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Phone it in! [Cuts to a police officer stretching crime scene tape across the patio as the medical examiner's van comes to a stop by the police cars. Inside the house, CSI techs take photos of the body as Monk and Natalie stand by] Still no murder weapon. Doc says knitting needle. So what do you think? He was tossing the place when she walked in on him? Adrian Monk: I-I don't think so. Look at the drawers. They were pulled out and flipped over, but everything's just piled up. He didn't really rifle through them. He was here for her. [Disher comes out of another room carrying a bag] Lt. Randall Disher: Captain. I, uh, found this in her closet. [holds the bag up] $4,000 grand, all $20s and $50s. Natalie Teeger: Gee, I should've gone to nursing school. [Monk examines the bills closely] Adrian Monk: 1967, 1966. [pause] These are 40 years old. Some of the serial numbers are sequential. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I'll call Treasury. Maybe they can trace it. Wanna come with? Adrian Monk: Nah, I should probably go home, assuming it's still there. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Mr. Monk Buys a House Natalie Teeger: Oh, I love all the woodwork. Adrian Monk: Hey, don't touch that. Natalie Teeger: What, wet paint? Adrian Monk: No, just don't touch it. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Mr. Monk Buys a House Natalie Teeger: [Jake is using his incredibly *noisy* jackhammer] So tell me why you moved again? Oh yeah, that's right, the last place was noisy. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (2) Adrian Monk: [trying to hide his face] Hola, senorita. Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, I know it's you. Adrian Monk: What's with the wipe? Why do I need a wipe...? |
| Season 6 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (2) Natalie Teeger: Oh, God! Why didn't you tell me? Adrian Monk: To protect you. We thought Rollins might be watching you. Natalie Teeger: Oh, that's ridiculous! Why would Rollins...? Sheriff John Rollins: [appears] Adrian, don't move a muscle! Show me your hands! You too, Ms. Teeger. Oh, you are knee-deep in it now, buddy. Natalie Teeger: You're the one who's in trouble! We know all about how you framed Mr. Monk and switched the gun barrels! Natalie Teeger: If anybody is going to prison, it is you! Adrian Monk: [dryly] Thanks for stopping by, Natalie. Sheriff John Rollins: Let me tell you about the *real* world, Natalie. It's never about what happened, it's always, can you *prove* what happened? |
| Season 6 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (2) Natalie Teeger: [looking through Rollins's papers] No, wait. Okay, there's a check for $10,000 made out to Angel County Children's Center. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to Disher] Angel County Children's Center? Lt. Randall Disher: No such animal. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Okay, that check is dirty. Who wrote it? Natalie Teeger: The Xanadu Corporation. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to Disher] Xanadu Corporation. [Disher begins to type] No, "X". Lt. Randall Disher: [reading] Xanadu, a division of the Orpheum Investment Group... which is owned by the Blue Danube Foundation... Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Blue Danube Foundation? Lt. Randall Disher: Which is owned by... oh, my God. Natalie Teeger: [to Monk] Who's Dale Biederbeck? |
| Season 6 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (2) Mover: Was he a professor? Natalie Teeger: No, a detective. An amazing detective. He could look at a room or a person and see things that nobody else could see. Mover: Like the Car Wash guy. Natalie Teeger: What "Car Wash guy?" Mover: That guy in Nevada. I was just reading about him. Mover: Here, in today's paper. They call him the Car Wash Columbo. He solved a big hit-and-run case single-handedly. Mover: Boy, he sounds like a real character. His boss says that it takes him a whole hour to wipe down every car. He won't even use the same rag twice. Natalie Teeger: [stops packing up, having known a person with these behaviors] Can I see that? Natalie Teeger: There's no picture. Mover: I guess he's modest, too. Natalie Teeger: [reading the article] "Leland Rodriguez". Natalie Teeger: His name is *Leland*? |
| Season 6 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (2) Sheriff John Rollins: [to his deputies] Drag her down. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [walks up with Disher] John Rollins! You're under arrest for murder, and conspiracy to commit. Lt. Randall Disher: We know that you're working for Biederbeck, and that you framed Monk! Sheriff John Rollins: Hey! You're under arrest! Obstruction of justice, aiding and abetting! Sheriff John Rollins: Arrest him! Lt. Randall Disher: [the deputies attempt to seize him] Get your hands off me! Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [as the deputies seize him] I'm a Captain with the San Francisco Police Department! Arrest him! Sheriff John Rollins: He's out of his jurisdiction! Arrest him! Natalie Teeger: Captain! The trigger is in the banner! |
| Season 6 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (2) Natalie Teeger: [shows Stottlemeyer the article about the hit-and-run that Monk just single-handedly solved] It's him, isn't it? Natalie Teeger: [sobbing] Oh, my god. Oh my god. [Natalie's sorrow quickly turns to anger and she punches Stottlemeyer in the chest] Why didn't you tell me? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Natalie! Natalie! Natalie! Natalie! [she calms down, but is still visibly angry at him] I am so sorry. Natalie Teeger: You're *sorry*? But how? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Bulletproof vest. We couldn't tell anybody. [looks at the newspaper] Leland Rodriguez, huh? Natalie Teeger: That's his name. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well that's just stupid! Natalie Teeger: What's he doing in Nevada? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: He's supposed to be avoiding attention and staying off the radar! Natalie Teeger: He's all alone? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Natalie, you can't tell anybody. You can't tell Randy, you can't even tell Julie. Natalie Teeger: Randy doesn't know? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No. I'm trying to protect him. Natalie Teeger: From what? Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I'm not sure. There's something going on here. That Sheriff Rollins, he *framed* Monk for shooting the six fingered man. You were there! They were going to send Monk away forever! And it's not just Rollins. Rollins is working for somebody. Maybe somebody in the Governor's office. Natalie Teeger: Oh my god! Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: It may go higher than that. I'm not sure. I'm still working on it. I just need a little more time. Natalie Teeger: I have to see him. [She starts to walk out, but Stottlemeyer grabs her arm] Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Natalie, leave him alone. He's safe where he is. You have to promise me you're not going to do it. Promise me. Natalie Teeger: I promise. [She is later seen packing her bags and preparing for a trip to Nevada] |
 | Season 6 / Episode 15: - Mr. Monk Is On The Run (1) Natalie Teeger: [makes smoothie by using a power drill. She puts lots of random items that one would not normally put into a smoothie into the blender. Then, under the excuse that her blender broke, she uses the power drill to blend together the ingredients. When completed, the result is a very repulsive looking liquid. She takes a sip] Just what I needed. Lt. Randall Disher: [Notices oil in the liquid] Is that oil? Natalie Teeger: That is oil. It's uh, it's from the ground so it's organic, and it just lubricates your organs. [puts down the glass and picks up the drill] Um, I'll just be washing up. I'll be right back. You can have it. Natalie Teeger: Quiet! He's still in the kitchen. [gets the uniform out] It's Mitch's uniform. It's all that I had. Adrian Monk: Oh no. I can't wear that. Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, he'd want you to. Adrian Monk: No, it's all dusty. Natalie Teeger: You were wearing a hobo's trench coat! Adrian Monk: OK. [He prepares to put on the uniform] Natalie Teeger: [gives Monk a wad of money] Here. Money. Adrian Monk: Is this all you had? Natalie Teeger: It's a week's paycheck! I was supposed to get a 5% increase in January... Adrian Monk: Okay, okay, okay. We'll talk about that later. Natalie Teeger: Here's some Kleenex. They're anti-viral. It's a sick world out there. Adrian Monk: Natalie, thank you. Natalie Teeger: You're going to thank me, find what happened, and come home? |
 | Season 6 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece Lt. Randall Disher: Natalie, what are you doing? Hey, HEY! What are you doing? Natalie Teeger: Randy, let go! Come on, let me burn it! Lt. Randall Disher: It's evidence! Secret Service are on their way. It's the only painting we have left. It's going to be Exhibit A. Natalie Teeger: Exhibit A? Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah! It's big news, Natalie! It's going to be one of the most famous paintings in the world! Natalie Teeger: You're right. You're right, I'm sorry. Natalie Teeger: Ow! Burn it! BURN IT! Lt. Randall Disher: [to the other cops] Grab that painting! Natalie Teeger: [shrieking] OWWW! BURN IT! |
| Season 6 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece Lt. Randall Disher: [gets caught up in a spider's web, and mistakes it for a booby trap] BOOBY TRAP! Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Randy! RANDY! It's not a booby trap! It's a spider's web. Bennie Wentworth: [walks over] What's going on? Did you break this bike? [points to a broken bike lying on the ground] Lt. Randall Disher: Sorry. Bennie Wentworth: You break it, you bought it. That's the rule. Natalie Teeger: It's a junkyard. How do you know if something's broken? Bennie Wentworth: I know. I can tell. Look. [He picks up the bicycle, and points to a twisted up wheel] This wheel is all bent! 40 bucks! Lt. Randall Disher: 40 bucks. No way. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to Bennie] Mr. Wentworth, this is Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger. They're helping us out. I was wondering, could you go over the whole thing again, please? Bennie Wentworth: Go over what? The guy was on my property, he tried to rip me off. He got what was coming to him, end of story. [back to Randy] I tell you what. Give me $20 bucks, we'll forget about the whole thing. [regarding the broken bike] Lt. Randall Disher: I'm not paying for it! Adrian Monk: What was he doing here? Mr. Wentworth, what do you think he was after? Bennie Wentworth: I don't know. Maybe he needed a carburetor. People need carburetors. Adrian Monk: [referring to the dead man] He was wearing a $2,000 suit. And those are Italian shoes. I think he could afford a carburetor. Bennie Wentworth: Maybe he stole the suit. That's possible, isn't it? Maybe he stole the shoes! Maybe he's on a spree. Adrian Monk: The suit, the shoes, the carburetor. What kind of spree is that? Bennie Wentworth: I don't know. An eclectic spree. Natalie Teeger: Do you have any enemies? Bennie Wentworth: None that I can think of, except for this guy the bicycle thief! [points at Randy] 20 bucks. [Bennie makes another attempt at bargaining with Randy about the broken bike's price] Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Randy, give him five bucks. Lt. Randall Disher: Fine. [He takes five bucks out of his own wallet and pays Bennie] Adrian Monk: I wonder what happened to his partner. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What partner? Adrian Monk: Well it's a dirt road out there. Very little dust on his shoes. Somebody must have dropped him off. Maybe they took off when they heard the gunshot. Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to Randy] Secure the road. Tell the crime scene techs to check for tire tracks. [Randy starts to walk away, and Stottlemeyer stops him] Randy! Your bike. [Randy reluctantly walks back and picks up the broken bike. He carries it away with him] |
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