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Character Bio
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Episode Screenshots
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Lester Gruber Quotes
 | Season 3 / Episode 25: - Send This Ensign to Camp Lester Gruber: [the crew is looking at Ensign Parker's old summer camp photo album] Hey, who's that guy over there? The guy with the hairy knees. Ensign Charles Parker: Huh? Oh! That's Uncle Woody. He was our camp counselor. Boy, he was a great guy. Taught me how to swim in one lesson. Virgil Edwards: In one lesson? You're kiddin'! Ensign Charles Parker: No, really! He just took me out on the boat in the middle of the lake and threw me in. Willy Moss: Man, that's really the hard way! Ensign Charles Parker: Oh, once I cut my way out of the sack, it was easy. Boy, those were the good old days. |
| Season 2 / Episode 13: - A Letter for Fuji Capt. Wallace B. Binghamton: [Grabs leaflet dropped from enemy plane] Let's see that. 'Lay down your arms. You're beaten men. Your families almost forgotten you. The Japanese Army is invincible.' That's lies. All lies! What kind of way is this to fight a war, you litter bug? Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Yeah, why don't you fight like men, with bombs and bullets? Capt. Wallace B. Binghamton: Oh shut up. Don't you know when you're well off? 'Bombs and bullets'! Lester Gruber: [Over on McHale's Island where leaflets are raining down] I can't stand it! I can't stand it, I tell you! George 'Christy' Christopher: Take it easy, Grube. Don't let it get you down. Lester Gruber: I can't help it. How can we have a decent crap game with all this stuff flying around? |
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