M*A*S*H Quotes - ShareTV.org

MAS*H

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MAS*H Quotes

	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen B.J.: I'll see you back in the States, I promise. But just in case, I left you a note. Hawkeye: What? [the helicopter that Hawkeye is seated in takes off, and he looks down at the note that Hunnicutt spelled out with stones: "GOODBYE"]
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen PA System Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, five minutes ago, at 10:01 this morning, the truce was signed in Panmunjon. The hostilities will end twelve hours from now at ten o'clock. The war is over!
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Broadcaster from Armed Forces Radio: On the communist side, 1,347,000 people were killed or wounded. The war also killed 400,000 Korean civilians. B.J.: This is not a good place to have a career as an innocent bystander.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Broadcaster from Armed Forces Radio: In addition, one-fourth of all Koreans are homeless, and 100,000 are orphans. Father Mulcahy: What did he say? How many orphans? B.J.: 100,000, Father. Father Mulcahy: Dear God!
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Maj. Winchester: Klinger, with your penchant for scams, I've no doubt that in no time at all you will own this country. And, you can have it. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Thanks, Major - if I'm ever in Bean Town, I'll look you up. Maj. Winchester: Oh, gee, unfortunately, I'll be out of town then. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Uh-huh.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Sergeant Luther Rizzo: Major. I hope you don't mind leaving in a garbage truck, but it's the last vehicle I got. Maj. Winchester: Not at all - what better way to leave a garbage dump.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Col. Potter: Well, boys - it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure glad we went through it together.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Col. Potter: You boys always managed to give me a laugh right when I needed it most. I'll never forget the time you dropped Winchester's drawers in the O.R. Of course I had to pretend I was mad at you, but inside, I was laughing to beat all hell.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Col. Potter: Well, Francis, you've been a godsend. Father Mulcahy: Look on the bright side: When they tell us to serve our time in Purgatory, we can say, "No thanks, I've done mine."
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Hawkeye: I can't say I've loved you all, either... but I've loved as many of you as I could.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Maj. Winchester: I'm sure Sgt. Rizzo will find me another mode. Sergeant Luther Rizzo: Well, I'll go take a look, but we ain't got too many modes left, Major.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Maj. Margaret Houlihan: ...Major WIND-Bag...
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Hawkeye: Colonel, before you go... B.J.: We've been thinking about it, and there's a little something we'd like to give you. Hawkeye: It's not much, but it comes from the heart. [Hawkeye and Hunnicutt snap to attention, and for the first time salute Colonel Potter. Potter, very slowly and militarily, returns their salute]
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Col. Potter: Don't you think a portable radio would be more convenient?
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Broadcaster from Armed Forces Radio: The cost of the war to the United States has been placed at twenty-two billion dollars. [One of the people in the O.R. whistles at that amount] B.J.: Don't look at me, I only get three hundred a month.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Broadcaster from Armed Forces Radio: In human terms, the cost was much greater. The U.N. forces have suffered the following casualties - Killed in combat - 71,500. Missing and captured - 83,263. Wounded - 250,000. Hawkeye: [operating on a/another wounded soldier] Make that two hundred fifty thousand and one. B.J.: And two. Col. Potter: Three. Maj. Winchester: Four. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: And there's twelve more out in the hall.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel, incoming wounded. Bring your shoes. This may be our last dance before we go home.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Col. Potter: Winchester, I think there's definitely a medal for capturing five Chinese in your bathrobe.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Dr. Sidney Freedman: You know, I told you people something a long time ago, and it's just as pertinent today as it was then. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Jeep Driver: Looks like it'll all be over before too long, huh, Captain? Hawkeye: Not a century too soon.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Jeep Driver: [to Hawkeye] Hey, look at that, [reading signs along the road] "Hawk was gone, now he's here. Dance til dawn, give a cheer. Burma-Shave."
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Maj. Margaret Houlihan: You holding up okay? Hawkeye: All things considered. [an explosion occurs] Most things considered.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Col. Potter: [after a third consecutive explosion] Okay, that's three - let's see if there's any damage. [Another explosion occurs immediately] Hawkeye: That was a hell of a short intermission. I didn't even have time to buy an orange drink.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Maj. Winchester: I thought we had a system here, they fire three rounds and they move on. Father Mulcahy: Wait a minute, what happened to that pattern they had of firing off three rounds and then going away? Maj. Winchester: Good question... again. Maj. Margaret Houlihan: Aren't those idiots afraid of being spotted? Col. Potter: I guess they figure the tank's worth the risk. Maj. Margaret Houlihan: Or maybe they brought in a second mortar squad. [Another explosion occurs] Maj. Winchester: Or maybe a third. Hawkeye: Well, the "more-tar" merrier, ha ha ha!
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Hawkeye: Okay, boys and girls, time to do something intelligent. [He stands up] Since I seem to be the only intelligent person here, I nominate me, all in favor, say aye. Col. Potter: Take your seat, Pierce. Hawkeye: Uh-uh, sorry, sorry, I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the "A" train, I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take five. [He walks out of the O.R]
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Hawkeye: I don't know why I always have to take out the trash. Father Mulcahy: I wonder if his discharge from the hospital was a bit premature. Col. Potter: I'm putting in a call to Sidney.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Colonel - look at that sunset. What a beautiful ending for a beautiful day. Col. Potter: Yeah, it'd be a nice sunset if it was setting over there. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: What do you mean? Col. Potter: Ever since I've been around, the sun's always set in the west. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Then, what's that? Col. Potter: I once saw that same kind of glow in the Ardenne forest. The next day, there wasn't any forest left. You'd better get on the phone to ICORPS. If that fire's headed this way, we're headed out.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen B.J.: I got as far as Guam and all flights are canceled, nothing going in or out. I'm sitting there in this crummy officers club, and this guy comes up to me, and says, "You Hunnicutt the doctor?" Now, I didn't like the sound of that, so I said, "No, not me, pal, I'm Hunnicutt the chaplain." He says, "Well, chaplain, you'd better start praying for a miracle, because you're going back to Korea to do surgery." I was a third of the way home.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen B.J.: Ah, I wanted to leave you a note before I left, I just didn't have the time. Hawkeye: I didn't even know you were gone. I thought you were in the bathroom.
	Season 11 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Farewell and Amen Maj. Winchester: No, no, no, no, hold it, hold it. Dolce! Dolce! Dolce! Col. Potter: The Chinese have been torturing Winchester for a week now.

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