Mama's Family Quotes

Mama's Family

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 5 / Episode 11: - What A Dump Vinton Harper: Uh, What ya looking for mama? Thelma 'Mama' Harper: I can't remember where i put the soup bone. Vinton Harper: Gee, i guess you're becoming forgetful in your old age. Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Maybe so, lately it's been slipping in my mind to slap you silly.
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - The Best Policy Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: [Effie won't eat] Effie, do you remember when my mama was so sick she was in the hospital? You pulled me aside and you said 'Thelma, take her home, she's never going to get better in this place'. The doctor insisted she stay and Carl and the kids didn't want the inconvenience so I left her there and she never come out. [Effie looks to Thelma] I'm not going to let that happen to you, Effie, so just open up and eat. [Effie still won't eat the oatmeal] Effie, why won't you meet me halfway? [eats the oatmeal] Well no wonder, this stuff is God awful.
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - The Best Policy Naomi Oates Harper: Since Aunt Effie came here, I've lost time at work. Bubba Higgins: I've had to wear wrinkled clothes! Iola Lucille Boylen: I had to get a tetanus shot!
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - The Best Policy Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: What would you like for dinner, kiddo? Aunt Effie Harper: Oatmeal! Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: I think she's still a little confused. I'm sure she means meatloaf.
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - The Best Policy Aunt Effie Harper: [puts the last piece in Vint's puzzle] All done, bozo!
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - The Best Policy Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: I was on my way up to Effie's room and I decided to stop in at the gift shop when lo and behold, there Effie was standing in a daze with the back of her gown wide open! Naomi Oates Harper: You're kidding! Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: Swear to God, it's a good thing I was there otherwise she'd probably still be mooning those M&Ms.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Mama and Dr. Brothers Mrs. Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: Swell, I'll just serve these after supper if anyone has room
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - A Grave Mistake Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: There is a strange woman buried next to my husband!
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - A Grave Mistake Mr. Pitts: Is that Harper with an H? Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: Of course it's Harper with an H, if it wasn't, it'd be just Arper.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - A Grave Mistake Ellen Harper Jackson: Can't you bury people in alphabetical order?
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - A Grave Mistake Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: Every night I say a little prayer for Carl to be happy. What a hell of a way to answer my prayers.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Flaming Forties Punker #1: [the band that was supposed to come to the dance is unavailable to come. Mama, Fran and Naomi are recruited to take over] I need Medication! Mrs. Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: Well, you're getting Medicare!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Mama Gets A Job Mrs. Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper: [to Vint] There's got to be more to life than sittin' around all day watching "Days of Our Lives" and folding your Fruit of the Looms.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Good Lord!
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Good lord, Vinton, what in the hell do you think you're doing? Vinton Harper: Well Mama... I'm trying to guess your weight... Thelma 'Mama' Harper: I've got a better idea Vinton... how about you guess which hand I'm gonna smack you upside the head with.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Good Lord in heaven! You robbed me for that bum! Vinton Harper: I didn't rob anybody! And he is not a bum. He is a man of vision and integrity and belief in his fellow human beings! Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Well, what did he need that money for? Vinton Harper: Bail!
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just lovin' this!
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: Well, Buzz, I believe you've gotten taller behind my back. Vinton Harper: Sorry.
	Unknown Episode: Naomi Oates Harper: Magic moments between a man and a woman are spiritual and ought not to be screwed with.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: My dogs are barkin'.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: From now on if we have any backstabbing to do were going to do it the way we have always done it face to face.
	Unknown Episode: Vinton Harper: Thanks a lot, Mama!
	Unknown Episode: Iola Lucille Boyland: Knock, knock.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: The only way to keep from goin' crazy in this house is to stay half lit.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: I tell ya, a guy selling brains could clean up in this family.
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: From now on, I'm not gonna give my family anything but hell!
	Unknown Episode: Thelma 'Mama' Harper: I wanna kill myself! Quick! Gimme somethin' Naomi made! Vinton Harper: Here, Mama. Try one of these Spam and anchovy sandwiches.
	Unknown Episode: Vinton Harper: Y'know, last night was the first night that Naomi and I didn't... didn't... well, you know, we didn't... Aunt Fran Crowley: There goes the Guinness Book of Records.
	Unknown Episode: Bubba Higgins: Grandma doesn't give me any rights! Thelma 'Mama' Harper: You have the right to remain silent.
	Unknown Episode: Naomi Oates Harper: Vinton Harper, I am not asking you, I am telling you. Now, take that silly thing back and bring me my bed. Vinton Harper: You got no right to tell me what to do, that's Mama's job!

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