Reese

Malcolm in the Middle

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Played by:

Justin Berfield
Justin Tyler Berfield was born on the 25th of February, 1986, and resides in Los Angeles. Born and raised ...

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Reese Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 22: - Graduation Reese: What did I miss? Malcolm: There was this big explosion. Some fire shot out and now he's just come to. Reese: What I was just gone for a second. Dewey: Shhhhhhh! I wanna see this. Lois: [walks in and sees Hal attempting to fix the TV] Oh for God's sakes, Hal. Pay the money and get a repair man. Hal: I am not wasting good money when I am perfectly capable of...
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Living Will Reese: She can smell the fear. It’s the pheromones... so the next time you are going to lie, have a shower first.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Living Will Reese: [about fighting dirty] Now, the first thing you need to know is that this is all about pride. Do you have pride, Craig? Craig Feldspar: Yes. Reese: Okay, that is not the answer I was looking for. You show me a man with pride and I'll show you a man with limited options.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Living Will Malcolm: What's wrong with him? Lois: The doctors call it Hysterical Conversion Disorder. It's like a sematic, apparently he's paralyzed from the waist up. Malcolm: The waist up? Reese: Dad, what is it? Dewey: I think he's thanking you.
	Season 6 / Episode 10: - Billboard Lois: [finds out what her boys are doing] Oh my God! Dewey: Did you hear that? Lois: What are you boys doing up there? Malcolm: It's Mom! Dewey: How did she know where to find us? Reese: I told you, she's got tracking devices in our fillings! If you two geniuses had ripped them out like I did, we wouldn't have been in this mess! Dewey: Maybe she didn't see us. Lois: Reese, Malcolm, Dewey, you get down here this instant. Reese: [bad Spanish accent] Miss, I don't know what you are talking about. Your boys are different boys than our being. Reese: [afraid] Where's the back door for this thing? Malcolm: [scared] It's a billboard! Dewey: [terrified] We're so dead. This time she'll finish us. Lois: Come down, now!
	Season 6 / Episode 5: - Kitty's Back Lois: Reese, your punishment isn't over until that bathroom floor is so clean you'll be eating off it. Which is what you'll be doing for the next three weeks. And get rid of that thing, it's disgusting. Reese: Disgusting?! If Malcolm made another him out of hair, you'll be throwing a parade for him, right now. Reese: [shrieks] Noooooo. Lois: It just took it. Reese: That could've been me. [unplugs the vacuum] I need five minutes alone with the vacuum.
	Season 5 / Episode 21: - Reese Joins The Army (1) Sgt. Hendrix: Are you sure you're 18? Reese: Yes, and here's the I.D. to prove it. Sgt. Hendrix: All right then, Private Jetson.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - Malcolm Visits College Reese: Malcolm, I live in a world of 'what the hell's.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Block Party Reese: Don't worry. If I'd wanted to beat you up, you'd all be hanging by your underpants by now.
	Season 5 / Episode 5: - Malcolm Films Reese Reese: [whispering to a wishing hole in a tree] I wish Malcolm and I could be friends forever.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Thanksgiving Reese: Dad, remember the chocolate soufflé I made for Thanksgiving two years ago? Hal: Oh, yeah, that was... Reese: RAT PUKE compared to what I have planned. The crêpes I made last Thanksgiving? Hal: Oh, they were... Reese: CRAP next to what we're having tonight. Don't think of this as a meal. This is like eating the Mona Lisa.
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - Watching The Baby Reese: These girls want to fool around with us. Malcolm: Only because we're losers. Reese: Hey. We're riding in a limo we didn't pay for. We're about to make out with hot girls who don't even like us. I don't know what we are, but we are not losers.
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - Watching The Baby Malcolm: Haven't you thought about where this is going? Her boyfriend is Aaron Seponevic. Have you ever seen that guy? If he sees you making out with his girlfriend, he's gonna kill you! Reese: I know. Malcolm: Then why are you... Reese: Because anything's better than the way things are now! I've had this cute lab partner in science for eight weeks now. Her name is Cheryl. I finally left Cheryl a note on her desk asking her out. And when she read it, she turned to me and said: "Do you know who Reese is?". So then she says, "Does ANYBODY know who Reese is?", and everybody shrugged. So I said, "Probably some nobody". And you know what? I was right. Limo Driver: Wow... that's awful, kid. You wanna wear my hat? Reese: So tonight, I'm gonna fix that. From now on, when I walk by, people are gonna say, "What happened to that guy's face?". And someone'll say, "That's Reese. He made out with Aaron Seponevic's girlfriend." And I can live with that.
	Season 4 / Episode 22: - Day Care Reese: [singing] Amazing race, How sweet the taste / That saved a wrench for me. / I once was in the lost and found / was blind, but found my keys.
	Season 4 / Episode 21: - Baby (2) Reese: I've been kind of zoning in and out here, but did she just say milk comes out of those things? Malcolm: Reese, that's what they're for. Reese: My God. Women are the cows of people.
	Season 4 / Episode 21: - Baby (2) Reese: I'd say half of all our Legos have been through this kid. Dewey: Probably more.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Garage Sale Dewey: Malcolm, in school we learned the coolest thing: there were these people that did this broadcast to convince everyone that aliens were landing. So what we do is wait for Reese to fall asleep, then we flash some lights outside his window then we go to the TV, but we'll have already made a tape... Malcolm: Dewey, you're totally over-thinking this. Reese, aliens landed down the street! Reese: [Runs in wearing a helmet and carrying a bat] Every man for himself!
	Season 4 / Episode 8: - Boys At Ranch Francis: [having lit a huge firecracker] Did it say when our vision would come back? Reese: Box said two days. Francis: Totally worth it.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Monkey Officer Smith: Hey, you look familiar. Have you been in our ride-along program? Reese: Uh yeah, sort of...
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - Jury Duty Malcolm: Oh, my God, we're lost! Reese: [sarcastically to Dewey] Oh, no, what are we going to do? Excellent, this'll get him cry. Malcolm: No, we really are lost. Reese: Oh, my God, what are we going to do?!
	Season 3 / Episode 16: - Hal Coaches Reese: So, "Dad", you gonna ground me? Ed: Geez, your counselor was furious. Reese: All right, now that that's done, why don't we just go home? I could jump in your Jacuzzi, and you could throw something on the barbecue for me. Ed: I have a better idea. Why don't we just go home? I could jump in myJacuzzi, and you could throw something on the barbecue for me. Reese: What are you talking about? Ed: Well, let's just say, that with the information your counselor gave me, I could call your mom, and you won't see daylight for years. Reese: Oh, yeah? Well, I'll tell your secret to your wife. Ed: Well, I guess the question is, am I more scared of my wife... or are you more scared of your mother?
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Cynthia's Back Reese: Reese: She's hiding something! I bet it's her big butt! When ever she backs up I will say "beep beep beep" Malcolm: Malcolm: Reese, when will she ever back up? Reese: When is her lunch period? I will sneak in and throw a piece of bacon at her! beep beep beep
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Reese Drives Teen: I can't believe I have to be in the same car as a low life like you! Reese: Oh, I'm a low-life? You're the one that spends everyday at lunch sucking on a straw that's been under my armpit.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Christmas Malcolm: Hey. This is supposed to be to Dewey from both us. Reese: I picked it out. Malcolm: I stepped in it.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Christmas Dewey: She's stealing Christmas. Malcolm: Mom, you can't do this. Reese: Yeah, this is the last year Dewey'll believe in Santa Claus. Dewey: What?
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Houseboat (1) Reese: Here's proof that I went to that all-girls camp. I have this thong right here. Malcolm: That's probably just Mom's. Reese: If it were Mom's, would I do this?
	Season 2 / Episode 23: - Carnival Malcolm: Reese, we are not leaving Stevie behind. Reese: Maybe it's his time, what do we know? Who are we to play God?
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Mini-Bike Malcolm: [In response to Reese's insult] You don't have any friends! Reese: [crushed] Mom told you you're not allowed to ever talk about that.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - New Neighbors Reese: I'm completely defenseless. Malcolm: Reese, she's four. You're bigger and smarter than... well, you're bigger.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Old Mrs. Old Reese: [Yelling at Dewey while throwing rocks at him] I'm trying to protect you.

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