Mad About You Quotes

Mad About You

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 7 / Episode 21: - The Final Frontier (1) Jamie Buchman: There are lots of things I want, but only one I really need. And if you ever decide to leave me, I will find you, and I will bring you home, 'cause you'd be wrong.
	Season 7 / Episode 21: - The Final Frontier (1) Jamie Buchman: Thank you for a wonderful engagement. Paul Buchman: It has been my pleasure.
	Season 7 / Episode 21: - The Final Frontier (1) Jamie Buchman: Why would you want to be called Sonya? Your grandmother thought of "Mabel." You know, it's an acronym. Mabel Buchman, as a Teenager: A what? Jamie Buchman: The letters M-A-B-E-L stand for "Mothers Always Bring Extra Love". Mabel Buchman, as a Teenager: Well, "Sonya"'s and acronym, too. Jamie Buchman: It is? For what? Mabel Buchman, as a Teenager: Some Other Name, You As....
	Season 7 / Episode 2: - A Pain in the Neck Jamie: [to Paul after an operation] Oh my God, don't ever die. 'Give me my Romeo and when he shall die take him and cut him out in little stars and make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night.' Did I ever tell you I played Juliet in the fifth grade? I did. Opposite Stephen Polumbo's Romeo. Oi, what an actor he was. He started crying during my monologue - when he was supposed to be dead - because he'd said I was 'leaning on his arm.' Oh my God, don't ever die. I have so much more to tell you and I'm not interested in telling it to anyone else. And I'm not saying I'd be helpless I mean I'm bright and fairly good with money. And I guess I'm cute, right? You would say 'What are you, kidding me? You, my little friend, are a perfect example of beautiful.' And so I am. Because I am nothing more or less than what I see in your eyes when you look at me. Do you know how long I waited for you? My mother used to say I was too picky or afraid of commitment and that's why I was still unmarried by the age of almost-thirty, but the truth is, I was... just looking for you. Do you know how close I came be being a narrow, cold, mistrustful woman? But you have given me a life so big... and full... and good... and fun. I don't even know what we do really besides clean up and complain and wish we were sleeping but with you somehow: fun! And I'll tell you a secret: When we got married I couldn't image still wanting to be with anyone all this time later. But I do. It's a miracle to me. You are a miracle. You've made me happy, which is something I never ever though I'd be.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Paul Slips in the Shower Paul Buchman: I... I just want to win, Lord. I just want to win. God: What if you can't? Paul Buchman: Say again? God: What if you can't win? Do you still want to live? Paul Buchman: Yes... but not as much.
	Season 5 / Episode 24: - The Birth (2) Paul Buchman: [asked why he is in the toilet] I'm voting.
	Season 5 / Episode 24: - The Birth (2) Jamie Stemple Buchman: [exasperated with Alan's intrusion] Somebody kill him and blame me!
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - The Grant Uncle Phil: Give your uncle Phil a firm embrace!
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Purseona Jamie Buchman: Why don't you use Ira's passport? Paul: Oh, there's a bad idea.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Ride Home Alan Tofsky: I'm designing album covers. Jamie Buchman: I started my own PR firm. Alan Tofsky: Peter Gabriel. Jamie Buchman: Coca-cola! Alan Tofsky: You're handling Coca-cola? Alan Tofsky: No... I'm just... thirsty's the thing...
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Escape from New York Jamie Buchman: You're dating your mailman? Lisa Stemple: Why not? He comes to see me every day. He brings me stuff... Jamie Buchman: Mail! He brings you mail! Lisa Stemple: Don't judge him!
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Escape from New York Paul Buchman: What does that say? Jamie Buchman: What? Paul Buchman: That sign back there. Jamie Buchman: What sign? Paul Buchman: Right back there. Jamie Buchman: I don't know, it's back there.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Escape from New York Jamie Buchman: Maybe we should have a baby right now. Paul Buchman: Those are our options? I pull into a Chevron or we have a baby? Jamie Buchman: Look at it logically. I get pregnant now: September, October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May... Boom! The kids out before it gets hot again. Pull over! Paul Buchman: What? Jamie Buchman: You have to admit it makes sense! You don't want me pregnant for all that humidity. Paul Buchman: It doesn't make any sense! Jamie Buchman: Why not? Paul Buchman: It makes no sense! First of all... First of all, you're still on the pill. Second of all, and maybe this is just me, I don't think you bring a child into the world just to beat the heat.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Met Someone Jamie Buchman: [When Paul first asks her out] You do realize if this doesn't work out, I'll have to blow my brains out. Paul: Well, just as long as there's no pressure.
	Unknown Episode: Jamie Buchman: No, no, no, not "The Hokey Pokey." Ira Buchman: James, ya gotta have The Hokey Pokey. That's what it's all about.
	Unknown Episode: Bruce Willis: Can I give you a hug? Paul: Hey... Bruce Willis: Good, good. Can I give you a little kiss? Paul: [hesitates] Sure. Bruce Willis: Wanna make out a little bit? Paul: I don't... No. Bruce Willis: OK.
	Unknown Episode: Ira: [sniffing] Did you have a steak? Paul: What are you, part wolf? As a matter of fact I did, this morning. Ira: For breakfast? Paulie, I'm impressed. Paul: I'm working my way backwards through the day: for dinner, I'm having cornflakes.
	Unknown Episode: Paul Buchman: Why would a mango need body wash?
	Unknown Episode: Jamie Buchman: We're having lasagna. There is a recipe in the back of a Rice Krispies box.
	Unknown Episode: Paul Buchman: [on the phone] I'm kissing your knees. Jamie Buchman: Niece? I don't have a niece.
	Unknown Episode: Ursula Buffay: I've been hanging out with Friends.
	Unknown Episode: Jamie: Do you want to tell me why I just lied to our closest friends? Paul: They wanted to take us to dinner. Jamie: The Bastards.
	Unknown Episode: Jamie Buchman: How are you holding up? Paul Buchman: Well, if I had two more tongues, I'd be the happiest person on Earth. Jamie Buchman: (lights a cigarette) Second happiest.
	Unknown Episode: Paul: [on the phone with the vet] [to Jamie] Murray's last bowel movement? Jamie: Monday. Lisa Stemple: Can you believe this? [points to herself] Saturday.
	Unknown Episode: Jamie: I love chest hair. Paul: Hey, what you got there is plenty good.
	Unknown Episode: Jamie Buchman: Would you please tell Lisa what guys think, when women give in on the first date? Paul Buchman: [pauses] Yippie?
	Unknown Episode: Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom? Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom. Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang? Jamie: I did when we started. Paul: And now? Jamie: I'm over it. Paul: You're a very complex woman. Jamie: You don't want the boom? Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys ALWAYS want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.
	Unknown Episode: Paul Buchman: Why is it I love you any more in the middle of February than on, say, August 21st? You know, to me, every day with you is Valentine's Day. Jamie Buchman: So, in other words, you forgot to buy me a card. Paul Buchman: That's what I'm saying.
	Unknown Episode: Paul Buchman: What's the big deal with Valentine's Day? It's a made-up holiday. Nobody even knows who this St. Valentine guy was. Jamie Buchman: He was a Roman priest who defended the Christians and was beheaded by Claudius II on February 14, 269 A.D.
	Unknown Episode: Jamie Buchman: So, where you gonna eat? Debbie Buchman: I don't know. What is the right food for this conversation? Jamie Buchman: [after a beat] I want to say Chinese... Debbie Buchman: Yeah, why is that?

« previous12 next »

» Back to Mad About You TV Show