Little House on the Prairie (1974) - Episode Quotes

Fun Facts: » Trivia » Quotes » Goofs

Little House on the Prairie (1974) Quotes

	Season 9 / Episode 18: - A Child With No Name Isaiah Edwards: Doc ain't slept a wink. I never seen a man work so hard. [Harriet scoffs] 'Course some folks don't care if he kills himself trying to save that child. Mrs. Oleson: Whatever caused him to do that, Mr. Edwards, will never make up for what he didn't do. Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I'll get your order. Isaiah Edwards: [About Harriet] Like talking to a Chinese pack mule. Mrs. Oleson: What did you say? Isaiah Edwards: You heard me. Mrs. Oleson: You're rude. Isaiah Edwards: You're ugly.
	Season 9 / Episode 18: - A Child With No Name Isaiah Edwards: This here calls for a celebration. Everybody into the restaurant! Everything's on Mrs. Oleson!
	Season 9 / Episode 18: - A Child With No Name Mrs. Oleson: [About the mule Doc Baker treated] And he's got a jackass for a patient. Isaiah Edwards: That's right. He's got you, and the mule too. Mrs. Oleson: Oh shut up, you old reprobate! Isaiah Edwards: [Laughs] And you're still ugly! Mrs. Oleson: Shut up!
	Season 8 / Episode 1: - The Reincarnation of Nellie (1) Harriet Oleson: [When told by Mr. Case that Nancy is an impossible, unadoptable child] Oh... men! Why, you just don't understand little girls. Miss Mason: Mrs. Oleson, I must be honest. I don't understand either. In the four weeks that Nancy's been here, she has set fire to her bed, broken more windows than I can count, poured plaster into the indoor plumbing, and bitten half the children in the orphanage. Harriet Oleson: Well, girls will be girls!
	Season 7 / Episode 11: - To See The Light (2) Alan Barton: How do you feel? Adam Kendall: Lousy. I feel so weak. Alan Barton: I'm not surprised, you've been a mighty sick man. Adam Kendall: What time is it? Alan Barton: It's after noon. Adam Kendall: I have to get up and dressed. The test is soon- [he tries to get up but Alan pushes him down] Alan Barton: Hey, slow down. The test was over with three days ago. Adam Kendall: What? Alan Barton: You've been asleep for three days. When I said you were sick, I wasn't foolin'. Adam Kendall: Oh no. Oh my god. Alan Barton: Well, I agree. It could've been alot worse. Adam Kendall: But the test... Alan Barton: To heck with the test! You're alive.
	Season 7 / Episode 10: - To See The Light (1) Adam Kendall: [in growing excitement] Mary! Mary! [stumbles out of his room, nurses try to stop him] Mary! nurse: Mr. Kendall you need to lie down... Adam Kendall: No! No! Mary! [Jonathan grabs him] Jonathan Garvey: Adam, Adam, calm down! [Adam grins and points at him in recognition] Adam Kendall: Jonathan! [kisses Jonathan's face] Jonathan! I can see! I can SEE! [they hug, laughing]
	Season 7 / Episode 5: - The Silent Cry Houston Lamb: Well... I guess folks think I'm gettin' senile. Michael: What's senile? Houston Lamb: Well, that's a pruddy good question. I 'spect it's a word that most folks use so they won't have to pay no mind what old folks think. You know what I mean? Michael: [after some small talk] Well, most folks don't pay no mind to what we think either, Guess that makes us all three senile, don't it? Houston Lamb: [smiles] Yeah, I reckon so.
	Season 6 / Episode 23: - Wilder and Wilder Almanzo James Wilder: [discussing Charles' objection to their plans to marry next month] Laura, I'm a man... and no matter what your Pa says, you're a woman... and I want you to be my wife. Laura: I want to be, but... Almanzo James Wilder: *No*! No buts, no ifs, no waiting. It's your choice - your pa or me. Laura: Almanzo, I love you, but I love my pa, too. Almanzo James Wilder: I want an answer, Beth. Laura: I can't - not now. I just need some time. Almanzo James Wilder: [pauses] I guess your pa was right, you're still a little girl! [he drives away with his team]
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - The Werewolf of Walnut Grove Mrs. Oleson: [fighting over Willie] He's my child! I bore him! Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Well you bore me all the time! That doesn't make you my mother! Mrs. Oleson: Nels! You know what I mean!
	Season 6 / Episode 16: - The Angry Heart Dr. Hiram Baker: [Nellie is singing badly] Can I get you something for your throat, Nellie? Nellie Oleson: [Nellie slams down the cover on the piano and leaves] Huuu!
	Season 6 / Episode 16: - The Angry Heart Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [Nellie is singing badly] Wouldn't you like a nice hot cup of tea? Nellie Oleson: Oh no father, mother says never drink any hot liquids after singing... something about blistering the vocal chords? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Better your chords than my ears. Nellie Oleson: What was that father? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I said you better take care of your chords, my dear. Nellie Oleson: Oh, I will father.
	Season 6 / Episode 16: - The Angry Heart Nellie Oleson: Would you like to hear another song? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: *No*, well I mean... Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Sounds like Doc Baker. Nellie Oleson: I wonder what he's doing here. Nelson "Nels" Oleson: He probably heard your singing and thought someone was dying! Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Oh, come in Doctor.
	Season 6 / Episode 3: - The Family Tree Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [enters blind school] May I see your water closet? Mary Ingalls Kendall: [she and Hester-Sue snicker] You came all the way over here just to use the water closet? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: No I want to see how it's installed. Harriet's making me install one. Hester-Sue Terhune: Right this way Mr. Oleson
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - Back to School (1) Mrs. Oleson: Oh, for heaven's sakes!
	Season 5 / Episode 19: - The Lake Kezia Monster Kezia Horne: [Kezia is separating peas from their pods] With that bathing suit on she looks like a hot air balloon! Mrs. Oleson: What did you say? Kezia Horne: I said I ought to have all these peas cracked by noon. Mrs. Oleson: Well you better!
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - As Long As We're Together (2) Josie: [Talking to Mrs. Oleson after she is hired as a bar maid] You could use a little makeup on those crows feet. Harriet Oleson: I beg your pardon? Those aren't crows feet, they are laugh lines! Josie: Oh, Honey! Nothin's that funny!
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Please Be My Friend Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: [having found a baby girl] Oh my, you need to have your panties changed, don't you, baby? Well, all I've got is a towel, but it's clean. Now don't you cry. Be a good little... girl.
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Please Be My Friend Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: I didn't realize how late it was. Charles Philip Ingalls: Alright, upstairs now! GO ON! [Laura goes up to the loft, Charles follows] Alright, young lady, suppose you tell me where you've been! Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: I was walking. Charles Philip Ingalls: You were walking? Not towards home, I take it. I can't hear you! Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: No, sir. Charles Philip Ingalls: Then where were you walking? Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: By the lake. Charles Philip Ingalls: Do you have any idea how upset we get when you just disappear? Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. Charles Philip Ingalls: Well 'sorry' isn't enough. Now I haven't given you a whippin' in a long time and I think I've been making a mistake.
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Please Be My Friend Harriet Oleson: It's your responsibility to discipline the boy, now you... Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Alright, alright. Willie, were you or were you not looking at the corsett ads in the catalogue.
	Season 4 / Episode 12: - Here Come the Brides Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [talking about Nellie's new boyfriend in bed] He's a bit rough around the edges but I kind of like the boy. Mrs. Oleson: You never had any taste. Nelson "Nels" Oleson: You’re right. Mrs. Oleson: What did you say? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I said good night!
	Season 4 / Episode 12: - Here Come the Brides Justice of the peace: [arranging people at Miss Beedle's wedding] You stand here and you here. Mrs. Oleson: Where do you want me? Justice of the peace: I'd rather not say!
	Season 4 / Episode 6: - The Creeper of Walnut Grove Mrs. Oleson: My problem is that I'm too soft hearted! Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Like a rock! Mrs. Oleson: What was that? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I said I've got to go and check the stock.
	Season 4 / Episode 6: - The Creeper of Walnut Grove Reverend Robert Alden: [enters the church and notices Charles' green hair] Today's text, which I have chosen several days ago, is based on the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, I'll not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures. Charles: I'm going to take the wagon, I'll meet you home!
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - The Handyman Mrs. Oleson: [after seeing Chris go to church with the Ingalls] I wouldn't feel safe with a stranger living in the house like that. Kezia Horn: Well, if it's any comfort to you at all Mrs.O, I can guarantee that YOU'D BE SAFE!
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - Castoffs Charles: Mr. Hanson was feeling poorly was he? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [after drinking the spiked water and obviously drunk] ya, ya He was dizzy, he was very diz he he ha ha ha Charles: Whats so funny? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I don't know Charles: Are you sure your all right? Nelson "Nels" Oleson: FINE AND DANDY! Troble is I can't seem to get enough of this water. Charles: Anyway i'll see you at the meeting. Nelson "Nels" Oleson: What meeting? Charles: The meeting at the church were going to decide whether to let kezia in the congregation or not. Nelson "Nels" Oleson: O that meeting, I'll be there! Charles: See you tonight. Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [Loudly] YOU BET YA CHARLES! [Charles looks confused and then gives a confused smile]
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Little Women Mrs. Oleson: [before nellies play] I haven't heard of an actress yet who hasn't experienced some temperment before a performance! Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [after she leaves the room] I wonder what her excuse is the rest of the time?
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Remember Me (1) Julia Sanderson: Charles... I'm gonna die. Charles: [shocked] What? Julia Sanderson: I'm going to die. That's a heck of a thing to tell a neighbor, isn't it?
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Haunted House Laura Ingalls: [in Amos Pike's disheveled drawing room] Look at this place. It's a mess! Amos Pike: Well, I... I've a... I've been meanin' ta... Laura Ingalls: Meanin' won't make it fit for wooly bears. I hafta clean your broom before you can even sweep! Amos Pike: You're a regular snippety snap. Ain't ya? Laura Ingalls: What's a snippety snap? Amos Pike: People like you!
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - Family Quarrel Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [says to mrs. oleson] you should be looked up in a cage and feed with a stick, you have made life miserable for everyone
	Season 1 / Episode 16: - Family Quarrel Mrs. Oleson: you disgraced me in-front of the whole town Reverend Robert Alden: [trying to heal there broken marriage] please there must be forgiveness! Nelson "Nels" Oleson: don't talk to me about forgiveness till you lived with a women like that. Mrs. Oleson: tssskkk [both of them leave the church]